A CUP OF SCORPIO VENOM

emotionally drained bottles

emotionally drained bottles

the spark in our eyes died, but our hearts staked together while we tried to pull away.

i was naive to believe i was worth more than the bottle.

every shot was another shot to the head.

those green eyes became a bottomless pit.

tequila drained your heart and turned it black.

reflection image screams the poisonous words you tangled my body in.

you've taken my self care and buried it alive.

the sober love was enough until your mouth became filled with cigarette smoke and 100 proof.

as i walked out, your tears closed the door.

if i hadn't drowned in those tears before, i would've stayed,

but each weekend came another drought,

and the drought became a violent wildfire.

and i'd find myself soaking in your murderous lies and murderous crimes to kill a girl without touching her at all.

so i'll cry myself to sleep and almost text you a hundred times just to erase it all and wonder why i care when all you ever did was stab me in the chest.

loneliness chained us together, and the way you laughed glued me to your bed.

four a.m.s are now constant reminders that you aren't here to kiss my cheek anymore as you roll over and sleep.

when my heart starts to miss your touch, i'll remind myself of the cruel battles we faced when your vision became blurry and your words became loud.

because i remember every careless word you said while you'd pass out and regret your freedom of speech the next day when i'm on the edge of the bed.

and each time you'd awake after the recurring drunken battle, i'd be one step closer to the door.

now as you open your eyes, you'll be laying next to her as i'm miles away.

miles apart and you still feel my love, and i still feel the embrace of what we once created.

goodbyes are never easy.

goodbyes are never full.

so i'll say goodbye now and hope it's forever.

— e. gould