A CUP OF SCORPIO VENOM

i'm okay to not be okay

i'm okay to not be okay

that half assed smile is a crook
that no one can seem to unravel.

my horrors come out at night to travel.

i've stood on this edge for far too long,
looking down and wondering when i will take that jump.

for now, my throat will hold that lump.

i want to scream, but my words are locked inside my security volt.

my happiness is on hold.

and everyone around me is covered by the clouds

i've cried in rounds

i've suffered out loud

under frozen ice

i've let my sadness run like mice.

the scars on my arms are stories of my darkest days no one will read –

i've burned the pages and watched them beg to stay, more like plead.

how do i push away the bully inside me?

i just want to be free, let me be me

or let me, be.

after this, i'll lay in bed and cry some more
until my heart feels.

— e. gould