Water Princess- A Blue Exorcist Fanfiction

Chapter Nineteen- The Chocolate Milk Feeling

To avoid any confusion in going to tell if guys right away.  This chappie is a flashback.  I wanted to update this series because quite frankly I have to be up for two more hours in order to wish my friend a happy birthday because waiting until the morning is too  mainstream.  Anyway,  I'll blab more at the end of the chapter. 

~~~~~••••••~~~~~~•••••~~~~~~~•••••~~~~~

I sighed deeply looking though my dirty window.  It fogged up instantly.  I took my small finger and drew a sad face on it.

All the kids were playing outside.  They were throwing snowballs at each other.  Laughing even though they were probably freezing in the raggedy clothes that people had donated to our dingy orphanage.

I wish I could be there.  I wanted to play with the kids too.  I wanted to laugh and hide behind a snow fort.  In the warmth of the happy atmosphere.  Why did everyone have to be afraid of me?

I saw a teenage girl from the orphanage kiss a boy from the butcher shop.  My ten year old eyes bugged out of my head. I couldn't believe it! I blushed seeing the two share each others heat as their mouths collided.

Then,  an awful realization occurred to me. I would never,  ever have that.  No boys talked to me.  No one talked to me, well almost. I heard my door open.

"Miss Bernese! " I grinned, forgetting my troubles and hugging her as she came through my door.

"Can you keep a secret? " she asked me quietly.

"Huh?  Of course," I told her confused.

It's not like I'd be able to tell anyone anyway.

She pulled something out from behind her back.

"Shh, this is between us, " she smiled handing me a mug with warm chocolate milk.

"Oh wow!  Thank you so much! " I said drinking the heavenly goodness and enjoying every drop.

"I thought you could use some company up here," she mournfully told me.

I looked out the window at the kids and back at her.

"I was fine, " I said reassuringly.

She raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

"Really. I wouldn't go out there anyway.  It's too cold."

"It's cold everywhere," she said lightly.

That part was no lie.  There was barely any heat in the orphanage. We couldn't afford it.

"Maybe you'd like to go outside with me?" Lady Bernese offered.

"It's fine, I'd rather stay here. "

If I went out all the kids would go in and no one would have fun. It was a small sacrifice to make.  I didn't have to have fun.  I was used to it anyway.

"Oh, come on," she said persuasively.

"Really,  it's alright. "

She sighed and frowned at me.

"Thank you so much for the hot chocolate," I told her gratefully.

"It was no problem," she murmured sadly.

This trick wouldn't work on me. Not this time. No amount of disappointment. Today,  I felt like an icicle.  Frigid,  cold,  and ready to fall apart.

I watched the kids out my window again. Even though they were hitting each other,  no one cried. I sat back down on my bed and continued watching. After a little bit,  Lady Bernese left silently, carrying the empty mug.

I grabbed a book that I'd scavenged and opened it up.  The pages of the book lured me into a spiral of words that entrapped me within a world of romance and adventure. I was right beside the character experiencing her struggles and the burning passion for her lover.

But,  of course the trance faded as the number of pages began to shrink and the spiral was beginning to bring me back to my miserable life.

I wish I could have a life like that. Adventure and romance, boy,  that would be perfect. I closed the book and stuck it under my pillow.  I closed my eyes shivering beneath my blankets, but imagining happiness and that would make me happy.  I drifted into a slumber.

•          •           •           •           •           •            •

I reached into my drawer in my dorm room and took the book out.  I gently stroked the cover.

I have my ideal story now. I flipped the pages.  When I was younger I never thought that love would feel like this.

I used to think that love felt like a bird singing beautiful music while sitting on a branch,  basking in the golden rays of the sun. Taking in the love as I sat there.  I was way off.  Love felt like the hot chocolate that Lady Bernese had given me that day. It was a useless, ordinary feeling,  but the amount of care placed in it was enough to warm you up until the icicle around you melted and left you dancing in the warmth of the mug.

I kissed the cover of the book gently and slipped it back into the drawer.

~~~~~~•••••••~~~~~~~•••••••~~~~•••••••~~

I'm sorry that this chapter was so short. I promise the next one will be back in track with the actual story. I really wanted to include a chapter like this.  Anyway,  back to my lame old thing.  Thanks for reading up to this point!  I really love it when you guys comment.  (I prefer comments over votes)    ≥﹏≤

Please, feel free to leave advice, critique, and anything else. 

Until next time!