The Setup » [lashton] √

2.2

Luke was standing outside Ashton's door. It had been a long night of overthinking and self-doubt that he kept entirely to himself, not knowing what he expected Calum or Michael to do if he told them but not wanting them to know nonetheless. He told himself he was just coming here to hear Ashton out, and he couldn't do that if he didn't knock on the door. 

So he did and waited, and waited. What felt like a lifetime passed as he both dreaded and eagerly anticipated seeing Ashton standing in front of him for the first time in months. 

Then finally, the door opened, and the floppy-haired dork stood on the otherside, a wide grin on his face as he readied himself to greet whoever was waiting. As his eyes rose and met with Luke's, his face shifted to one of shock, and he faltered in his movements, the words that had seemed ready to leave his lips were gone. 

"I didn't think you were coming," he said quietly, "I'm glad you did though," he clarified, "please come in," quickly moving out of the doorway, and Luke walked in, still achingly aware he'd said nothing, but words continuing to fail him. 

"Do you want a drink?" Ashton asked, clearly uncomfortable with the silence. 

Luke willed words any words to come to him, "yeah, that'd be good, a Sprite if you still keep them," the last part made his gut twist. 

He nodded, "yeah, yeah," and turned, hurrying to the fridge. 

It was so goddamn awkward, all of it, every single piece hanging in the air, and yet Luke didn't want to leave. He would have been content to luxuriate in the awkwardness if only to be able to see Ashton nervously moving around the kitchen forever. 

Once the Sprite was in front of him, he decided he ought to just get to the point; he fingered the ring of the can as he spoke, "you made a lot of uh- pretty big claims in that letter you left," letting his eyes meet Ashton's across the kitchen counter. 

"I don't know if I like that you're calling them claims," there was a joking tone to his voice, the awkwardness still there. As they looked at each other, a sense of embarrassment built in him. He realised that being here was an admission in itself; even if he told himself that he was just here to hear Ashton out, Ashton saw this as Luke's admittance that there was something more between them from his side as well.

When Calum had tried to set him up with some gorgeous, floppy-haired loser, he'd imagined it going more like Crystal and Michael, not like this. 

"Well, you have to be realistic," he paused, trying to keep his voice soft and kind, "things haven't been easy," 

Ashton's eyes flicked away from him, and then he shrugged and looked back up at Luke with a cheeky smile, "No, but good things rarely are," 

Luke could tell he was half-joking, still nervous in the way he held himself, "that's what sad straight people say when they cheat on each other,"

He chuckled at that, bobbing his head up and down in agreement; he walked around the counter, so he was standing next to Luke, "Okay, that's a fair comment. You know what I mean though, this- was going to be hard- it's a big change for me. And unfortunately, it's just not that easy, but I wanna do this for you, for us, because I feel like it's going to be so worth it, but It might be hard, I'm not going to lie," Luke thought Ashton was going to reach out and take his hand, but instead he turned around and slid himself up on the counter so that he could lean over slightly into Luke's line of sight. 

Luke turned toward him, desperately aware of how close their faces were now. He sighed, "I'm torn," another sigh knowing he needed to elaborate, "between being ecstatic that you're willing to try and that I wasn't making this all up in my head, and so fucking exhausted by the fact that this seems like so much labour to you, I don't wanna feel like work Ash," He sipped his Sprite as if to say, 'that's all I wanted to say' and waited for Ashton to think about it. Then he was looking at Luke for a long time, really considering the words when Luke had the urge to clarify. "I'm not trying to be difficult,  really. I just want you to remember that I'm a person over here, with my own stuff going on. I need things too, and I don't want this to become such a big part of-" he didn't want to use the word relationship, "us, that I can't think about what I need," 

Ashton was nodding again, his face thoughtful, "I get that," he said earnestly, turning to face Luke, who watched him thoughtfully. "I don't want you to minimise yourself. I just want you to know that I haven't got everything figured out, and I'm still scared," he admitted, and then more quietly to himself, repeated, "I am scared." 

"Fuck," Luke whispered, subconsciously shifting himself closer, "me too. Is that a bad sign?" rubbing a hand against his forehead. 

The older man reached out, taking the offending hand from Luke's face, gently tugging him closer. "I honestly don't know, but the thought of us being together is really exciting," he admitted with a shy smile. 

Luke nodded, "I feel the same," he said with a relieved sigh, letting himself return Ashton's smile; he pulled his hand free from Ashton's and stood between his legs, a hand finding itself on Ashton's thigh, a guilty pleasure he was easily slipping back into.  "I think we need to figure out how this is all going to work because I feel like that's what's making me nervous," and then he cautiously addressed his first concern, "are we going to tell people, like Michael and Calum?"

He felt Ashton shift beneath him, "I don't know if I'm ready to deal with that; I mean I feel like they aren't super impressed with me at the moment; maybe we give it a little bit, let me earn some brownie points with them, work up to it," 

Luke held back the urge to sigh; he had to be realistic, he supposed, "I really don't think they're going to be upset or anything, but I get it. Let's just take small steps. What about us? How are we going to work if you know we aren't telling anyone," 

"Dating? I guess, just yeah, dating. Not telling anyone yet, but maybe you could have a key for here if you wanted, and catch up as often as we can. Then we work up to more. I promise we'll get to a point where I will tell anyone that'll listen; I just need time," he looked down at Luke with the most reassuring smile as he spoke and the younger man all but melted, a stupid grin finding its way onto his face. 

"Anyone?" Luke asked, eyes not leaving Ashton's. 

"Anyone," the older man replied, leaning down and pressing their lips together. 

It was perfect, the best kiss of his life. He couldn't help but smile into it as he felt Ashton doing the same, fighting grins as they moved their lips against one another in a slow welcome home meets never before seen sort of way. This, this is what Luke had wanted when Calum had started talking about setting him up with some friend all those months ago. He could find an easy fuck on Grindr or in some bar along Oxford street whenever he wanted, but this was worth so much more. He felt he could never admit it to Calum, but as annoying and heart-aching as it had all been, it was worth it; Ashton was his person, and it might be hard work, but he was willing to do it.