Deep Breath | G.Dolan

New Years Eve

"Napoleon! Napoleon! Oh my God, Grayson he's gone!" I said running down the stairs and into the living room where Grayson was watching the TV.

"I'm really starting to regret the decision to get you another one," he said throwing me my pillow pet.

 "Be gentle with him," I said petting his fur. I hopped over the couch, successfully, and sat next to him. It was the morning of New Years Eve and we were invited to a cool party somewhere in some club in the middle of nowhere. Well, it was Los Angeles but I still thing it's all confusing so everywhere is the middle of nowhere to me.

"Who are you going to be kissing at midnight?" He turned and asked, smiling.

"Napoleon," I said bringing him close to my face.

"You can't bring him to a party. Or you can and be that really weird person in the corner who no one wants to talk to," he said changing the channel.

"Well then I guess I'll have to see if Bryant found anyone by that time." He gave me a glare. "Not funny?" I said laughing. I think its hilarious. "What about you?"

"I'll find somebody. I mean, c'mon. Look at me," he said motioning up and down as if showcasing himself. I rolled my eyes. "And if we both can't find someone at the end of the night..." he said raising his eyebrows up and down and moving slowly but closer to me. I shook my head teasingly but he moved in anyway and kissed me.

"Right, so I'll kiss my hand," I said after I pulled back. He smiled and this time he rolled his eyes.

"You are literally the most impossible person in the world," he said taking Napoleon from me and used him as seat cushion.

So, it's been six days since Christmas and things are...normal but not normal. I'm still dating Ian technically but you're technically cheating on him? Basically. I just don't think it's right to break up with someone over the phone so I'm waiting until I see him. And Grayson doesn't care because he hates him enough. And as for Grayson... we're friends. But as you can probably tell...a little bit more than friends. A little bit more? Three out of the past five nights you've slept in the same bed. Basically. But we're not together...and we're not just messing around I don't know what to call it. How about you call it being a slut bag. That works.

"You should take a shower before tonight...I can't have a smelly date," he said nodding his head towards upstairs.

"Whatever, bruh," I said and gave a little burp slouching in the chair.

"You're absolutely disgusting." I made a kissy face, mocking him. I got up to go upstairs because he was probably right. I stopped at the door and turned around.

"I'LL MISS YOU," I said in a weird girly voice playing around. Figures it's weird. You're not used to being a girl.

I was in the shower shampooing my roots and singing a classy love song. "R-O-C-K ME AGAIN R-O-C-K ME AGAIN." I rinsed and repeated to "Little Things" which wasn't anywhere near as romantic as "Rock Me." When I got out I stood in the mirror and checked myself out for a good four minutes before poking my head out the door and looking both ways. All clear. I walked across the hall and into my room closing the door behind me. I put on my bra and underwear when I realised that I left my favourite after shower T-shirt in Grayson's room. I listened for the TV still going downstairs and knew the coast was clear when I heard it. I went down the hall and opened his bedroom door.

"Wow, what a welcome!" All the guys were in Grayson's room.

"Shit!" I yelled before running out and closing the door. Fantastic. They all saw my jelly rolls. I knew I shouldn't have had that midnight snack last night...if you can call two slices of pizza and left over Chinese food a snack. I went back into my room and put on sweat pants and a sweater. I was too embarrassed to go back in so I just sat on my bed awkwardly. My phone and laptop are in there too...I've been camping out for a few days in there. Fuck it. I walked back in awkwardly and grabbed my computer. "I don't know why you're all in one bedroom and not in a living room like normal visitors," I said grabbing my computer. They all watched me. As I walked back out and passed them I said in a lower voice, "It's a little gay if you ask me."