Forever and Ever // Lams

It Will Take Time

LAUREN'S POV

I woke up from my restless nap, it was the first time in a while that I had woken up without Alexander laying next to me. I had been forced to go back to my parent's house, I was too young and broke without my parent's money to get a hotel room, and I was too scared to stay out on the street. When I had come home sobbing, my dad had beat me up until I stopped. He told me "men don't cry." I hated Henry so much. I just wanted to go back to living with my friends. I just wanted to go back to waking up and seeing Alex's adorable face. That face which I now... was supposed to hate. I couldn't stand the thought of Alexander, not because I couldn't stand him. I couldn't stand the thought of never being with him again.

But he hated me. I had said things I could never take back. I had broken his heart.

But he had also broken my heart! He had also said things he couldn't take back. He said hurtful things that made me so angry I felt like screaming and punching the wall. It wasn't completely my fault!

But the things I had said were worse... I had basically started the fight that had broken us up... maybe for good. My heart physically hurt. I was so sad my heart. Actually. Hurt.

But... the fight had been sort of cleansing. It seemed to have escalated so quickly because no matter how much I loved Alex, there were some things I had been holding back, some anger I needed to let out. I just wish it hadn't happened in the way it did...

I was dreading the next time I was going to see Alexander... I definitely hadn't completely forgiven him yet, I didn't know if I ever would. But I also just wanted to throw myself into his arms and cry and apologize over and over and shower him with kisses and never leave his side again.

HERCULES' (YES, MULLIGAN'S) POV

After Alex and John's fight, I couldn't stand to be alone with Alex. I felt really bad for him, but I also needed to find Lafayette. I needed to find him because he didn't seem to be in a stable mental state. Something seemed off about him when we were arguing. He seemed sadder than usual, and his regular happy energy was grey and dull... it wasn't just the text that King George had sent out.

I checked my phone, luckily Laff had Find My Friends on, so I could see he was at the Manhattan bridge.

"Oh God, don't tell me he's trying to do it again..." I whispered, my eyes refilling with tears.

*flashback* (Still from Hercules' POV)

Lafayette had been in America for a few months now. We were in love, but something had seemed off the last few days.

Laff had been quieter, his energy dulled from a bright, fiery red to a dull grey. I asked him about it, he mumbled something about a doctor and when I asked if he'd repeat himself, he wouldn't.

I woke up one morning and Laff wasn't laying next to me. There was a short note on the kitchen table that read, "Don't look for me, please mon amour. I may return, I may not. We are better off this way."

That was it. I reread the note a thousand times before remembering he had looked up Manhattan bridge last night. When I had asked him why he quickly shut off his phone and tried to distract me with a kiss. It was my only lead, and of course I was going to look for him, no matter what he said. I was worried.

I went to Manhattan bridge as quickly as possible. When I got there, he...

(End of flashback)

The taxi dropped me off and I jumped out of the car quickly. There was Lafayette, walking along the edge just as he had just over a year and a half before. I could hear him crying from where I was. He turned out toward the ocean and bent his knees, sobbing even louder. He was about to spring forward, when I yelled out "LAFF, NO!" I ran out to him, tottering dangerously on the edge of the bridge. I was a big man, and I was having a hard time getting to him. I finally did, and I grabbed his hand and pulled him close to me.

"Lafayette, what's going on? Is this about the text?" I felt warm tears sliding down my freezing cold face.

"Well...I ran out of... 'ow you say...antidepressants just like last time, and then the text was sent out and..." He flung his arms around my neck and showered me in a thousand kisses.

"Hercules Mulligan, mon amour, I love you so much. I don't deserve you, and you deserve better than me. That's why I need to leave zis world. You're very much better off without me."

"No, you don't understand, Laff. I wouldn't be. I love you so much, I can't live without you." I wrapped my arms around him tighter and began making out with him. I stepped back a little, and my foot hit thin air.

Suddenly Laff and I were flying through the air, still wrapped up in each other's arms.

'If this is how I die, at least I'm dying with the man I love...' I thought, and it was oddly reassuring.

We were plunged into freezing cold water.

ALEXANDER'S POV

I just wanted to be alone, and I think Herc picked up on that because he said he was going to look for Lafayette.

I sat on my bed, staring at the wall. Then I looked down at the wrapping paper I had ripped into a thousand shreds. Then I stared out the window for either 5 minutes or 2 hours, I didn't know. Eventually I got off my bed and began pacing my room, contemplating John and I's argument. I paced faster and faster until I was practically running back and forth.

I couldn't believe him! How could he say those things about me? How could he act like all of this was my fault? Screw him!

I flopped back down on my bed. This was all my fault. I had broken up with him, I had told him to leave. I had told him to get away from me.

Is this what he meant? I was making it all about myself? No, I felt like in this case if it's all about me its better.

"HEY JOHN, I'M TAKING THE BLAME FOR ONCE! FEEL BETTER?" I yelled at the ceiling.

I got back up and began pacing again.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT, NOT MINE!" I yelled on the left side of my room.

"THIS IS MY FAULT, NOT YOURS!" I yelled on the right.

I went back and forth like that over and over until I was exhausted and laid back down again. Then I sat up and grabbed my laptop.

I began furiously typing a letter. It was not to John Laurens. It was to Thomas Jefferson.