Forever and Ever // Lams

Bad Decisions

LAFAYETTE'S (YES, LAFAYETTE'S) POV

(A/N: This POV has been mostly translated to English, although Laff does think in French :p)

I was hugging Herc, wishing he would leave me so I could do what I came to do when suddenly I was falling down toward the deep, dark water just as I had wanted to all along. I plunged in and began to drown. Herc's arms were still wrapped around me, and he was dragging me down deeper into the water. I couldn't break the surface, I got close, but his weight pulled me back down again. I would've let myself drown all alone, but I wasn't going to let mon amour die. I wondered for a fleeting moment if that's why he had saved my life the last time I had been on Manhattan bridge. Because he felt the same way about me...

I was pretty sure he was unconscious. I shook him off of me, then grabbed his hand before he could float away. I finally got to the surface and lifted up Herc too so he could breathe.

He took a loud, deep breath but his eyes didn't open. I slowly dragged both us to shore. It felt like it took hours. Finally, I made it and nearly passed out from exhaustion. I laid on the ground and called 911 with the tiny amount of energy I had left. Then it what had happened hit me. Hercules might not make it. I might not make it. (A/N: Because of hypothermia, for those of you who are confused. *cough* Juliana *cough*) With that final "comforting" thought, I fell asleep. Or passed out? Either way, I was unconscious.

ALEXANDER'S POV

I was laying on my bed staring at the ceiling for the 50th time that day, when I got a call from Peggy.

"Alexander, Lafayette and Hercules are in the hospital! We're picking you and John up right now from you guys' place! You are there, right?" She yelled into the phone, her tone full of worry.

"I'm here, Laurens is... honestly I don't know where. Possibly out on the streets?"

"Alexander Hamilton, what happened? Why are you calling him Laurens? Explain, now!" Peggy yelled into the phone. I was surprised Laurens hadn't called and told her already.

"I'll tell you in the car or something..." I mumbled, then hung up, with no intention of ever telling Peggy what had happened. I know Laurens would, he always overshared. My eyebrows furrowed in anger and frustration.

I jumped up off my bed and rushed out the door almost immediately, only stopping to grab a granola bar and put on my shoes.

LAURENS' POV

I had been moping around all day, hiding from my father's unstoppable fists when I got a sudden call from Peggy.

"John, Mulligan and Laff are in the hospital! Where are you, and why are you not with Alexander?" She yelled into the phone, concern creeping into her tone.

"I'm at my parents' house, and I'll explain everything to you later... are you picking me up? I don't want to be in the car with Alexander..."

"Well, it's either be in the car with Alex and act like the mature adult you're supposed to be, or not come to the hospital for your two best friends! Which do you choose?" Snapped Peggy loudly.

"Tell me if it seems really serious, if it does I'll get there on my own." I said, after a moment's consideration.

"JOHN, THEY ARE IN THE HOSPITAL! THAT MEANS IT'S SERIOUS!" She screeched.

"If they are going to die, I'll come to say goodbye. That's the only way you could get me anywhere near Alexander right now." I growled back. "Bye, Pegs. Keep me updated."

"John Henry Laurens, how could you go from loving Alexander so much you'd take a bullet for him to hating him so much you won't visit your injured friends just to avoid him? More importantly, when did you become so selfish? I would expect this behavior from an asshole like King George, not you." In the background I heard a noise that had most likely come from Eliza, disapproving of Peggy cussing. "Alex didn't even talk about you when I called, he didn't even sound concerned about your presence whatsoever. I'm disappointed in you..." And she hung up before I could respond.

My heart began pounding and I jumped out of my bed. She was right, I was being selfish. But so was Alexander! That's why I was so angry at him! Or... was it? I could barely even remember why I was angry at him anymore, I was mostly just angry because I was angry.

I was disappointed in myself too, to be honest. But if I saw Alex so soon after the fight, I'd either immediately come crawling back or I'd hurt him, and I didn't want either one to happen. Not yet, at least.

I walked over to my empty closet. It reminded me of when Alexander had led me to the closet in our--his-- bedroom to keep me safe without a second thought. He had been on the floor, terrified because of the thunder storm, but when I needed to be protected, he had forgotten all about his fear for me.

But I could protect myself! I could've easily walked to that closet to myself! He just happened to lead me there.

But it's not that I could've done it myself that matters, it's that he did it without hesitation, without worrying about himself, to protect me.

I grumbled to myself. It was too soon to be regretting our fight, my blood should still be boiling. So why wasn't it? I already knew the answer, I'd known it all along. I loved him too much.

ALEXANDER'S POV

I sat in between Peggy and Jefferson in the hospital waiting room. It seemed as though John and I's relationship wasn't the only one that had suffered from King George's texts. Madison was nowhere to be seen, and Jefferson's face was still tear stained. What a terrible Christmas...

We didn't leave the hospital waiting room until the doctors kicked us out. They had given us no news all day, except that there was a possibility Laff and Herc were going to be in long term comas, and a possibility they'd wake up within a few days, or even hours. Not much help.

I suggested we go back to our-- I guess now it was just my place for a while--and get drunk. Everyone seemed a bit hesitant, but it's the only thing we can think of to do to take the edge off of the day.

For some of the group, it seemed like this was the worst day of their lives. At first I thought it wasn't, but as the day went on I wondered if it was possible for the human heart to actually break. I was in physical pain nearly all day, and I just wanted to curl up on John's lap as he stroked my hair, just like the good old days... well really, just like yesterday.

I also had a strong urge to cut myself, but I decided getting drunk was a safer solution.

At first, we were just drinking to forget. But soon, we had forgotten, and we were drinking to black out. At some point raging party music was turned on, and the lights had been dimmed. We all danced late into the night, and right as I was thinking about just passing out right where I was on the floor, I felt someone's hand curl around mine. It wasn't John's.

I hated how the hand felt, cold and unfamiliar. I didn't want that hand anywhere near mine. But I was also drunk, so when I tried to communicate my feelings, it came out as a few slurred words that the person the hand belonged to obviously couldn't understand.

The hand led me to my room, and sat me up against my head board. It closed and locked my door. Finally, the hand's owner spoke.

"Hamilton, are you sure? We both know we're only doing this to get back at John and James."

I should've shook my head no, but I was drunk, so I nodded yes quickly and excitedly. My eyes widened as I realized what I was about to do, and who I was about to do it with.

"As you wish, Alex." The man slurred drunkenly. Then we both leaned forward and our lips met.

I couldn't believe it. I was making out with Thomas Jefferson