Life sucks

I Guy I Know...

There is a guy that I have known since 6th grade, John. 

He and I knew that we had feelings for each other, but I felt uncertain not only with my feelings for him but for his with me. I knew he dated many people and that he moved quickly from girl to girl. I didn't want to be just another girl; I wanted to be special to him. Lately, we have been talking after 2 years and he hasn't forgotten me. I am special. I've been on his mind, he loves me, I love him, I think, and we live in different cities. How fun?

Even if he asked me out now I wouldn't say yes.

For the first time ever in my life guys have basically noticed me. I have options now. I'm able to choose. Usually, I never reject a guy who asks me out because I feel either bad for them or to take the chance that someone likes me. 

I can be a total sociopath, but I can be a very caring person.

John is a great guy, but he is a player for me. Dated like 3 girls for not so long and yet he still likes me after 3 years. John is sincere but I'm not all too convinced. I haven't been able to move on from Jonathan because he technically doesn't let me. He refuses to let me go and he doesn't help my grades whatsoever. 

I need someone like Jonathan whose kind.

I need someone like John flirty, but trustworthy. 

I need someone like Joseph quiet and social, but not so salty all the time.

I need someone like Nelson a great friend and a person of trust. 

I need someone that loves reading.

I need someone exotic.

I need someone strong and a warrior.

I need someone like...

a fictional character named, William Herondale, from The Clockwork Series (Prince, Princess, and Angel)                

(???)

My Fellow Readers Who Possibly Don't Know What I'm Talking About: .....

Or basically, a hot Welsh man that is a romantic poet and lover who enjoys reading, fighting evil, and tea.

My Fellow Readers: Ohhh

Wait, no... 

What I need is...

My Fellow Readers:  A life out of books and your imagination??

Umm... I was going to say a bucket of chocolate ice cream, but why can't we have both? 

** I want to quickly thank my friends for supporting my constant chatter on Jonathan: Nelson, LeMaria and that's all my friends that read this... Oh and Cyran.***