Spirk Drabbles

I Will Always Be There - Part One

        WARNING: This chapter contains images of self-harm.

        POV: James Kirk

        I stared out of the window, bored as hell and desperately trying to find something to do. All of my work was done, I had an hour before my daily game of chess with Spock, and I had probably read all of the books I have on the ship. As I sat in silence, my thoughts drifted to Scotty's progress with the warp drive. He really can fix anything...besides me.

        I sighed, my mind filled with thoughts about my Vulcan crush and my eyes filling with tears. There was so much pain in knowing that he would never love me. But I just couldn't tell where the pain was.

        Picking up the knife that lay beside me, I dragged it across my left wrist, red liquid emerging along its path. There it is, I thought. There's the pain. There was something about it that...comforted me. The searing pain I had inflicted upon myself. The glimmer of the knife in the light above me. The dark red blood that dripped from my wounds.

        Quickly putting the knife back in a drawer, I stood up and whirled around to the sound of my door opening. Just inside stood the one I wanted so dearly.

        Spock.

        POV: Spock

        The captain appeared flustered, possibly even frightened. He simply stared at me, frozen where he stood. "Is there something wrong, Captain?" I asked, subconsciously raising an eyebrow.

        "Oh, uh, no. I-I'm fine, you just s-startled me," he stuttered. Something deep inside me told me that his words were untrue. I disregarded it and said simply,

        "I shall speak with you at a later time." Exiting the room, I sighed, thoughts of the two of us together blotting out all logic I had left. My only wish was to have Jim beside me as my mate. He was likely finishing his work, I concluded.

        As I sat on the edge of my bed, my vision became blurry with tears. No matter how much effort I put into holding them back, I simply could not. I felt so much pain inside, but I could not tell where it came from. I pulled up a corner of the rug and pulled out a small razor blade. As I pulled it through the skin on my wrist, my tears fell onto the green trails and burned them. There it is.

        There's the pain.