I luv u ; joeybirlem

21

I woke up and joey was no longer next to me , I sighed remembering what he told me yesterday , he probably went out to sell or something . I got up and changed into some jeans and a thrasher hoodie and put my hair into dutch braids whilst applying light makeup . I sprayed perfume on my self and grabbed my keys along with my phone and my back pack .

I walked downstairs and walked out the door locking it and getting into my car , I didn't know where I was going to go to be honest I guess I was just going to go to the mall and walk around whilst impulse shopping . I made my way to the mall which was like 30 minutes away from my house , sigh .

***

I was looking around papaya and picked out some really cute clothes , I got some crop tops and ripped jeans along with some tight fit high waisted jeans , I also picked out some dressed and jumpers . I was done and had tried on all the clothes and went to check everything out and the total came out to only $50 , wow . I got hungry so I went to the food court and got some pizza , while I was sitting there I felt my phone vibration non stop .

* 30 missed calls from joey *

  what the hell ? I called him back and he answered within the first ring .

" hello ? "

" callie " he sighed in relief

" yes ? "

" where are you ? "

" at the mall why ? "

" you have to leave "

" why ? "

" just come over , and hurry "

" ill be there asap " I hung up and grabbed all my stuff running to the exit and out to my car .

I drove so fast I almost got a speeding ticket

***

" are you okay ? did you notice anyone following you "

" no ? why ? what did you do ? "

" one of the enemies saw me leaving your house yesterday and now they're threatening to um " he paused

" hurt you ... "

" joey what the fuck ? "

" look I know but its not safe for you to go back home you have to stay here , please callie I cant lose you . " he looked at me putting his hand on my face

" okay so what do we do ? " I sigh

" just stay here and don't go anywhere without me got it ? "

I'm scared , what if someone ends up coming to get me and kills me ? I'm only 18 I don't want to die yet . its not time , i have so many things I want to do in life because I want to actually be something . I went to bed that night crying , I couldn't stop . my face was hot , my eyes were puffy and red , I couldn't breathe . I didn't know what to do . I calmed down and breathed in and out slowly then finally gained control of myself and everything was normal , I just laid there and stared at the celling .

god the things ive gotten myself into for this kid are unexplainably stupid , ive put my self in danger just to save his ass , hell ive even lied to COPS to save his ass . I would do anything for him and he just doesn't understand that . he doesn't want to accept the fact that somebody actually loves him so he throws me off to the side almost all the time like if I'm just some toy and I cant take it anymore . I cant take being his second anymore , I dont like being the rebound let alone the downgrade , I hate being used for my body and my smarts . god why do I fucking do this to myself , maybe I should call carter ? no , no , I'm just going crazy , carter will get me killed . I'm just tired of everything , thats all .

if I was always first , then there shouldn't be a second .

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idk who needed to hear that but I sure did :,)