Make A Wish | PJM

Chapter Thirty Three Pt.1

This isn't what I expected. This isn't what I expected at all.

What was Jimin thinking? Was that his entire plan, after all? To finally give me what I wanted, then crush my dreams from becoming a reality?

The worst part is, they did become a reality. The days—oh the days that we have spent together, will forever linger in my soulful thoughts. They will bring me joy, but disdain at the same time, as all he wanted was maybe some love and affection in his part, along with a broken heart.

I start to think—no, maybe know—that maybe Jimin is just like the rest of the boys there.

Just a bunch of fuck boys who love to mess with the minds of naive girls.

Maybe I am as naive as I thought I would be. Perhaps I wasn't looking at the reality of Jimin. Perhaps I was, because if I hadn't, I wouldn't even bother making that stupid wish.

That wish.

How pathetic of me, really; for me to actually wish something so—shallow. Very, very shallow of me to do, honestly. Why couldn't I have just tried to get his attention like every other girl? Why did I have to wish for something so—absurd? It only makes an image of the weird, unusual personality of who you would call, me. Not only did it make me look extremely peculiar, I have the potential of being dead forever. [It] took me awhile to be visible to everyone else, besides the boy that really has me in utter shreds of misery and love. But, now I have other problems to face, the fate of me being dead or not.

I might die—like actually die.

Just because I can't get my shit together when it comes to boys.

I really had him, I really did. It was such an amazing feeling, being able to finally grasp a prize that you have been yearning for, for so, so long.

To finally be able to reach to the top of a mountain, a mountain that has always been in your mind since you have first laid eyes on it.

I really thought I would lose hope, that maybe this isn't what I deserve. Maybe, this man isn't the one for me, and I just can't accept that fact,

That he's just an infatuation of the mind.

But how can he? When he has been in my mind for how long? Since the beginning of school? Since the beginning of school, Yeona, is how long you have grown to be so vigilant with the blonde. This isn't an infatuation, it's the beginning of something dangerous. Something that is brewing to be risky, yet so spectacular.

This isn't an infatuation.

This is what you call love.

But, is this the right type of love that every show/movie has been boasting so dashingly about? Because if I recall, the boy isn't supposed to kiss the girl you have been so worried about since the beginning.

Jimin isn't supposed to kiss Rose. So why did he?

Is he already tired of me? I mean, we haven't been together for long, which makes things worse in my case—oh he has a motive. He's tired of me.

What a waste of a wish, if this is going to happen. Should I be thinking of a bright side here? Is that what girls do? Maybe Jimin was framed by that red-headed witch. Oh, I should've listened to him, then—

Yeona, please. You are being naive, again. What optimism can blossom here, when what I am literally facing is the potential of being cheated on, by the man that unfortunately, has my heart.