What if... (A Hobbit Fanfiction) (DISCONTINUED)

I'm Going On An Adventure!

It was the middle of the night, and I cracked my door open. All the lights were off, and the house was silent. Well, aside from the many snores emitting from- everywhere, actually. I crept out of my room, leaving the door open just a crack, and made my way down the hallway. I about jumped out of my trousers when I almost stepped on someone. I realised it was the bald, and heavily tattooed Dwarf, sleeping on the floor.

I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head in confusion. And when I looked up again, I noticed there were Dwarves scattered across the length of the hallway. I gulped. Treading carefully, I made my way down the hall. I was halfway over a Dwarf with lots of red hair, and a large beard, when he let out a loud snore.

I froze as he turned to the other side, and blanched when I realised he was going to hit my other foot. I jumped and landed on the other side of him wobbly, almost falling over into the lap of an older looking Dwarf with grey hair. I let out a silent sigh of relief and soon, I had made it past the sea of sleeping Dwarves. I turned around, and froze when I saw the Dwarf from earlier, Thorin Oaken-something or other. I waited a few seconds, before realising he was sleeping, sitting upright.

I made my way into the living room, the fire's embers still glowing and letting off the smallest amount of heat. I looked around, and then spotted a piece of paper lying on the table. Picking it up, I squinted at it, trying to decipher what it said.

"'Terms; Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one-fourteenth of total profit, if any.' Seems fair. 'Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to lacerations...evisceration'? What in the world..?" I watched as the paper unfolded into another section.

'Oh, boy...'

"Incineration?! What the actual fuck?!" I whispered shouted to myself. I stopped reading there and let it sink in for a moment. 'Alright, that is WAY too much information of probably ways to die for my liking.' Based off of what I had just read, Bilbo was most definitely NOT going on this quest as a 'burglar' or whatever.

That made me pause for a moment, thinking back to the conversation he and I had at supper.(Supper is after dinner, and is at 9pm) 'I am not going to spend my whole life stuck in a cozy little hobbit hole.' With that decided, I swiped the contract and quickly made my way back to my room. Closing my door, I pulled out my travel bag and clothes from a Took relative, and started pack. Clothes, soaps, brush, blanket, small pillow, matches, flint rocks, rope, bandages, a small dagger, a few books, ect. 

Anything that could be helpful. Then I stopped. 'Wait a minute. If I'm going on an adventure, I can't be Brandy. If these Dwarves find I'm female, they'll send me back.' I thought, my plan suddenly falling apart. But then I smiled. 'But... From the waist up, I can pass off as male. I never had really big boobs, and they're practically non-existent from that accident from years ago, so as long as my pants don't fall off, I should be fine!'

My smile was now a wide grin, stretching from ear to ear. When I finished packing, I pulled out a quill and signed the contract, and then setting it down on my desk. I pulled out a blank piece of paper, and started writing a letter to my brother.

Dear Bilbo,

By the time you read this, I will most likely already be gone. I've decided to go on the adventure thingy with the Dwarves, under your name, of course. I don't want to spend my whole life stuck in a small corner of an even bigger world. I want to see things, have adventures like the ones in my books. I do apologise for it though, but as they say, 'It's better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.' You can yell and ground me all you want when I get back. I will miss you, and always keep you in mind. With that being said, I love you, Bilbo. Don't have too much fun without me.