Antagonym

Chapter 38

"So mother dearest has returned from the underworld."

I drummed my fingers on the top of the grand dark wood dinning room table. I was sitting in one of the fancy chairs at the edge, Finn sitting next to me at the head, his temple resting against his fist as he leaned on his elbow. Elizabeth must have gone home, too stricken with rage to attempt contact with her other estranged child. I'm glad she wasn't here because I don't think I'd have the willpower to face her twice in one day.

"You haven't talked to her, right?" I asked Finn curiously, observing my brothers defined features so much like my own. If I was a man, I would for sure look like Finn's twin.

"No," he answered without hesitation. "And I don't plan on it. I've been done with her bullshit since you stopped talking to her."

"Is it even worth worrying about the twins? I mean, I'm no professional but if they've managed to stay in her good graces for eighteen years, it's probably already ingrained in their heads to hate us," I wondered aloud. Even as a young child my mother and I never got along. Something must have changed in her after her first marriage, because Finn tolerated her for fifteen years with no problems. I know for a fact he wouldn't stand that shit now.

"I don't know," he exhaled honestly. "Because for all we know those two are sitting in their home in New York thinking the exact same things about us. I don't want to play the victim card for us, but I think we're the ones that have the mental block. Then again, you're four years older than them and I'm nineteen. It might not seem like a lot between you guys, but four years at that age is a lot. Not to mention how fast you've had to grow up. To be completely honest, I still feel like a lost eighteen year old not a thirty six year old adult."

"I guess we both still fell like abandoned fifteen year olds. Maybe that's something that never changes," I muttered. Finn could try and make me feel better all he wanted but I knew deep inside we felt the same way right now. All Elizabeth had done to him was ignore him for three years of his teenage years, come back with me, a baby she had out of wedlock, and then insult the one woman Finn ever loved. Okay, maybe she hurt him just as much as she hurt me. Beck was right, my mother was the problem, not me.

But was he right about everything else?

"Finn, I need to ask you something and I want an unfiltered response." If there was one thing I could count on from my brother, it was brutal honesty. "Do you think she's abusive?"

His identical forest iris' flicked over my face, analyzing it the same way Beck did when he thought I wasn't looking. Or maybe he did know I was looking, he just didn't care. It was more likely the later.

"I don't think it's as bad as it could be; she's very open with her abuse but that doesn't mean it isn't as harmful. And what I mean by not as bad, is that she doesn't try to convince you she isn't. But, I do think she is abusive, to you. That's why the court emancipated you, is it not?"

"They emancipated me because she denied me a surgery."

"Which was detrimental to your career prospects and your health. She swears at you and tells you demeaning shit like she does behind Sylvia's back; that's abuse, Danny. I think that's why this whole time I wanted to get you away from her, I just didn't want to admit it to myself just like you don't want to admit it to yourself, but we both know the truth."

I closed my eyes, leaning my head against my palms. "And what if the twins live that every day and we were too selfish to realize it? Because they never had a father there every night or an older sibling to save them."

"I don't know, Danny. The reality of it is that we abandoned them because we're selfish. I don't want to act like a dick, and I want to help my brothers as much as I can, but I don't think there is anything we can do without harming our own wellbeing and our family's. I can't bring Elizabeth into Sylvia or your lives, even mine for that matter. You both hide it well but I know my sister and my wife. It's a toll we can't afford."