Quiet- Harry Styles fan fiction

Chapter 15

Bellas POV

The next morning I felt like shit. If I'm being completely honest then I wouldn't be joking when I said I only had three hours of sleep last night. Which included me crying for hours on end. It was just that I thought everything about me and Harry was real. Apparently I was wrong. I felt embarrassed and humiliated, which was why I needed to get to school early and go straight to the art room.

So that's what I did. I got ready as I normally would and got my bag and walked to the school. When I left down the driveway it pained me to think that Harry wouldn't be picking me up in his car with that tired smile on his lips. I know I sounded stupid and pathetic but I was starting to get used to having him with me and hang out with me. I miss him. I can't help that I miss him, no matter how hard I try to say that he's a liar, it won't convince me further.

I just need to stop talking about it.

So that's what I did. I blasted the music in my headphones so loud that it wouldn't let me think. I walked for what seemed like forever until I made it to the school. I know my art teacher is always here early. She loves her job. And I admire it so much, she gets to draw all day, I don't blame her. When I got to the art room she sat at her desk focusing on something in front of her, when she hears the door close is when she finally notices me standing there.

"Bella! Your so early." She smiled brightly. I tried to return it back but I didn't have the heart. So I shrugged. It was weird. Not talking again. I would at least have three conversations a day with Harry, but now it's just going to go right back to the start. No talking.

"What's wrong you seem down?" She said standing and walking closer. I just shook my head. Partly because I was exhausted, and because I felt no need to do anything but be alone and cope with all the depressing parts of my life, which pretty much take up everything. I made my was to the back room, then shutting the door behind me. I looked at a few of my sketch books then picked one up, dropping the rest of my materials. I drew someone I had to get out of my mind. Harry. I could memorize his face perfectly, only because he was perfect himself. His side profile was absolutely and artists dream. A perfect jaw line, dimples, plump beautiful lips. Everything about him was stunning.

Before the drawing was half way in I couldn't finish. My hands started shaking and I broke out in cries. I didn't understand what I did to deserve all of this. I was just being quiet and keeping to myself. And I deserve all this bullshit being thrown in my face. All these tricks and games and lies. I couldn't take them! It wasn't fair. When would things get better for me? When will I smile again?

And just like that, the home room bell rung. Had it already been that long? I decided to be late so I wouldn't have to be harassed by Arron, considering I kinda kicked his ass the last time I saw him. I could care less he's done worse to me. Once in like seventh grade he called me a fat hippo, and I started starving myself for weeks, just to fit in. I had to be hospitalized after that. They have no idea how much shit they have caused in my life. He deserved that hit, and I'm absolutely ecstatic that it caught him off guard. So I waited for ten minuets and cleaned up the back room for a bit, then left after waving a bye to my art teacher. When I get to homeroom I let my head fall to the floor. I sit down as far away as possible from everyone waiting for the time to speed up. When the bell rang I was relived to be away from Arron, but terrified to see Harry at math. When I got there I say further in the back and looked down making sure no one saw me. I knew Harry would, but. I couldn't stand looking at him without crying. When class started, I looked up not only to see Harry, but that blonde girl who sits next to him, on his lap. She was giggling and whispering in his ear. I couldn't see his face but I bet he was smiling. I pulled my hoddie down and tried to hide my face. I felt tears coming on. Why was I so blind? All I thought about how stupid it was of my to fall for him so quickly. He could get anyone he wanted. And me, I was a freak, a nobody. I covered my face with my hands. Of course no one had noticed my sudden state. I let a few tears slip from my eyes. The second time I had looked up Harry and that girl had locked lips. All I felt was jealousy and pain. I just wanted him to like me like that.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I shot up from my seat storming out of the class room. I ignored all strange looks and the teachers request's. I left the school, tears streaming down my face. I ran far away feeling like he was running behind me, but I knew he could care less. I ran far. I didn't care about the backpack that felt like tons on my back or the rain starting to fall down on me like buckets. When I finally made it to the forrest I walked around aimlessly until I went down the small hill by the pond. When I got there I sat down still feeling the rain fall on me, but it lessened due to the trees protecting me. I looked around admiring the beautiful view once again, that was coming so familiar to me so quickly. Except this time I couldn't enjoy the view because he was all I could think about. Covered my face once again, but no tears fell, I was fresh out of them in my lifetime. I felt defeated finally, like I had been pushed and beaten enough. Like it had been enough already. Only one person can take so much pain.

At this point I didn't care what the hell I look like or what I was doing. So I rested my head on my backpack on the wet grass. I felt like the pain I was feeling was eating me alive. Like I couldn't breathe with all these amounts of stress and heartbreak. So I laid on the ground until the sobs stopped racking my body. I was officially done being stepped on. So I closed my eyes and fell asleep in complete utter silence.

-

"Bella?"

I opened my eyes to a familiar voice waking me up. I look up to see the only other person who knows of this secret place; Harry. I jerked up and away from him.

"Bella, holy shit are you insane? What are you doing sleeping on the wet ground? Your going to get sick!" He ranted coming closer to me, only making me scoot away, pushing my soaking wet hair out of my face. I didn't talk. I wasn't going to open up to him again. I wasn't going to let him walk all over me and use me. I was getting tired of the humiliation. His facial expression change from worried to hurt beyond compare. He knew what I was doing. I was rebuilding the walls I've put up for so many years. I wasn't going to talk to him again.

"Please don't do this to me." He pleaded.

No response.

"No." He whimpered falling to his knees "please talk to me, tell me I didn't lose you."

The more I looked at him the more I felt tears coming on. One after another tears fell down my cheeks. Harry came closer to me on the ground. He touched my arm, but I jerked away again.

"Please talk to me. I didn't do anything, I wouldn't betray you like this. You don't understand-" before he could manipulate any longer I put my hand up signalling for him to stop.

"No! I won't stop! I won't ever stop! I fucking love you! Okay! I love you."

As soon as those words came out of his mouth I stared at him, almost not blinking. I didn't know what to even say. I don't know why but I bursted into tears. I sobbed, because all I could think was, how could anybody love me? How could he say that?

"Bella, babe. Please don't cry, what did I do?" He said in my ear. I felt myself being swarmed into his arms. He cradled me in his chest. I just cried and cried.

"H-how could you love me? You fucking stepped all over me and used me! I'm unlovable Harry don't you get it! So stop saying all this bullshit that you love me!" I yelled hitting him away from me.

"You never let me explain!! I never told Arron about our date! I told Louis! And Liam heard us talking! I never would say that about you! I love you." He ranted again. Pouring loads and loads of more drama onto my shoulders. I didn't know what to think. I couldn't process such words one at a time. How did he love me? Did he love me just as a friend or more? And why would anyone care about our date? But I couldn't process what he did this morning.

"You can't love me Harry! You love someone else, I'm not an idiot I saw you kissing that girl. Do you know I'm also in that class?" I scoff

"No Bella she means nothing I swear! It was nothing she is all over me, and I can't control-"

"Save it Harry. Your a liar! Do you use all the girls like everyone else too?" I say pushing him away again.

"No no I swear-"

"I'm not going to say it again harry. Leave me alone. I don't have time for all your lies and games. I'm sick of all this humiliation."

"Bella no-"

"If you really loved me you would leave me alone because that's what I want!" I said to him

I never looked his way, but when I did eventually he was gone.