Little Dove (Gene x Reader) | Phoenix Drop High

Chapter 17

5/6: just a little note, I wrote this chapter like over a month ago so please, if there's anything wrong with it, don't be afraid to tell me. I'm sorry for being absent for so long, you guys understand the struggle. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy. Put on your seatbelts, it gets pretty intense.

Chapter 17 - Pain

Ever since that night, Gene and I have been joined at the hip. Anytime that we could be together, we would. I hated being away from him; I was drawn towards him. When we would have to go our separate ways, it felt as if a part of me was missing, as if Gene took half of my heart with him.

Is this what it is like to be in love?

We haven't spoken about our kiss that night, even if we were together all the time. Usually, we would end up joking about people at his job, the TV show we saw last night, or something that Zenix did.

It hurts.

As much as I don't want it to, it hurts me that Gene has not even said a word about it. To many, a kiss might not seem like a big deal. It was just this awkward thing that people do when they like each other... or they bump into each other on accident. But this was my first kiss and it had meaning behind it. My heart swelled and my mind was racing when our lips were joined, but I didn't know if he felt the same.

Maybe it's not the same for him.

Perhaps Gene doesn't want to mention it because he doesn't feel the same way. However, if he did feel this way, wouldn't he just be ignoring me? That's when all the doubt started filling my head.

•••

"Little Dove?"

My eyes shot open, quickly focusing on Gene as he leaned forward to observe me. He has to stop doing that. I pursed my lips and moved my chair back, trying to ignore the squeal of the chair against the tiled floor.

"Sorry, I was just resting my eyes a bit," I replied, studying Gene as he squinted his eyes at me briefly before moving his hand up to push his black hair away from his face.

Why did he look so cute?

"How much sleep did you get last night?"

I hesitated. I have no clue why I did, but it seemed to upset Gene a bit. I saw his jaw clench before his lip twitched, a sign that I learned meant that he wasn't in a good mood.

"Like seven hours," I shrugged, "More than you probably got."

"You seem pretty tired," Gene responded, his eyes purposely avoiding mine, "It doesn't look like you got that much sleep."

Why doesn't he look at me?

"I promise I'm okay." In an attempt to comfort him, I smiled and took his hand in mine, giving it a squeeze. Gene squeezed back, not removing his hand from mine despite the embarrassment showing on his cheeks.

Was he embarrassed by me?

"Are you free tomorrow?" I blurted out before I could stop myself. If I thought about it, I probably wouldn't have asked him anyway.

Gene put his elbow on my desk and rested his chin in his palm, still holding my hand with his other. "Yeah, why?"

Even with the distance between us, I felt nervous. Maybe it was because he was still grasping my hand and he was able to feel how sweaty I was. I didn't know what to say; I didn't think I would get this far. To be honest, I was hoping that he would say no so that I wouldn't have to humiliate myself further.

"I-uh, I want you to come over to my house tomorrow and maybe spend the night. Of course, I'll have to ask my mom about it. I didn't expect to get this far. I'm surprised that you even said yes. We've been spending so much time together that I thought you would want a break-" I abruptly stopped myself by coughing and covering my mouth. Gene finally made eye contact with me, staring right at me, his blue eyes boring into mine. I was worried that he could see my soul through my glassed eyes.

"I love spending time with you," Gene rolled his eyes, trying to get rid of the serious atmosphere that developed after I prevented myself from talking.

Not sure about how to respond, I just nodded, breaking eye contact with him to look around the room. If he couldn't feel me sweating before, he could definitely feel it now.

I almost let out a breath of relief when the warning bell rang but I stopped myself before I could. Gene sighed, his usual frown adorning his face as he let go of my hand, standing up from the seat in front of me.

"I'll see you tomorrow. I won't be able to see you after school today."

"What? Why?"

"Detention."

My shoulders bounced as I laughed. Why was I laughing? It wasn't that funny. When I realized what I was doing, I stopped, a burning sensation present on my cheeks.

Gene rolled his eyes, his lip twitching upward slightly. "Have a good class (Y/n)."

I was too embarrassed to say anything back, burying my head in my hands as soon as I saw Gene leave the room. It was at that time that I realized that he said my real name.

•••

Letting out a shaky breath, I turned the doorknob and inched the front door open, stepping in once there was enough room. I slowly took off my shoes, taking my time pulling them off my feet before setting them next to the door.

I don't want her to be mad at me.

"Mom?" My voice cracked slightly, causing me to clench my teeth together, peeking into the living room.

"Yes?" She responded, pausing whatever she was watching on the TV.

My chest clenched, feeling intimidated by her stare on me. She wasn't looking at me directly, she had her head faced towards me but she was looking at the space around me. I was deflating like a balloon that was stuffed in the closet, slowly losing all of its air.

I don't want to be a disappointment.

"(Y/N)?"

"A-Ah, right," I started, clenching my hands together behind me to hide how shaky they were. "I- um, you're still working tomorrow, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, I-I was wondering if my friend could come over because I don't want to be alone tomorrow." I held my breath, feeling the instant regret that came with it. She knew who I was talking about, we've had several conversations about Gene, everyone ending with an agreement to just stop talking.

This time, however, my mom closed her eyes and nodded. "That's fine. You know the rules."

After a second of silence, I nodded and retreated to my room. I understood why she would let me have Gene over, but, at the same time, I expected to have to convince her. Smiling, I fell back onto my bed, the mattress sinking under my weight.

Pain is better than loneliness.