GLEE

Birthday (Pt. 1)

"Ow hair! Ow hair! Ow hair!" if you're wondering what's going on, I'm currently being tugged on my hair by Mercedes, while the rest of the boys followed us into the kitchen. Rachel was still in the bathroom and having an early morning shower, while of course practicing her octaves.

"Come on Reese, we need to have this talk right now." Mercedes said.

"Well talk to me but don't yank out my hair!" I finally managed to pull my hair away from her grip and stood up straight. "I'm very fond of it. Hair is one thing that disertains us women from the men." I said.

"Why did that sound incredibly sexist?" Sam asked. 

"Listen, you need to come over to our apartment now." she said.

"Why do we have to go over there now? The party-"

"SHH!" I shot my boyfriend and Kurt a look when they shushed me.

"The party isn't until seven. Why're you dragging me out of the comfort of my home nine hours early?" I asked in a low whisper.

"Because we're afraid if we leave you here, you're going to say something to Rachel about her surprise party." Blaine replied. Yes, we are going to throw Rachel a surprise party for her twentieth birthday.

"Okay, we've been friends for nearly five years now, and you know I can keep a secret." I said.

"You got that right." Kurt muttered. We all know what he's talking about here. "Why should this secret be different from any other secret she's had to keep quiet?" he asked. 

"Well um-shut up!" I told him.

"But Rachel is different, you two tell each other everything." Sebastian said.

"Why are you not defending me?" I asked him.

"I'm just doing what you wanted me to do in this relationship. I'm being honest." he replied.

"Well don't be honest about the negatives."

"Reese. If Rachel walks in and she's not surprised, we're gonna know you told her." Mercedes said.

"Look, all I'm saying is all these celebrations: birthdays, holidays, celebrations, sicknesses. All invented by two guys who wanted to sell cards: Hall and Mark." I said. You know, HallMark? The greeting card company? 

"And look at this! Ain't that pretty huh? Blooming out of the fridge there." Blaine was reaching into the fridge for a snack and he had his behind sticking out. "Would you get out of my fridge?" I asked him.

"Relax, I just wanted an apple." he said when he closed the fridge.

"And he's taking my apple too." 

"You want a bite?"

"Not anymore." 

"Are two for real? Can we focus please?" Sam asked. "Look, when Rachel comes in, we all say happy birthday. Right?"

"What's the difference? I always say happy birthday on her birthday. Why should this year be any different?" I asked him.

"Now look, we all have to say happy birthday, but not all at the same time becaus she's going to realise something up." Kurt said.

"Which is what we always do? Why is this important again?" I asked.

"Look at this from Rachel's point of view: if we all say happy birthday in a jambled bunch, she won't expect anything. But if we say happy birthday together, she's going to know something up because we're all organised." Sebastian sat down with me at the table, trying to explain why chanting habits were important. "Now if we say it all together, which is what we usually don't do she's gonna know something's up and it'll ruin the surprise. But if she expects us to say something in the way that she should, her psychic blinkers won't go off. But we can't say happy birthday all together and in an even formation because she's going to know something's up and she's going to know we're planning a surprise. You get it? You understand?" he asked me. I could only stare at him like he had two heads.

"Geez, you get more like Rachel everyday." I said. 

"Very funny, you're a natural comedian." he said.

"Prided." 

"Reese, do you remember how you're supposed to get her over to our apartment?" Mercedes asked.

"Yeah, I grab her by the ankle and drag her over." i joked. Apparently, nobody else took it as a joke when I felt someone whap the back of my head.

"Ow!" I turned around, to find Kurt to be the culprit.

"I'm the only one who whaps heads around here!" I snapped.

"Good morning, good morning, oh the sun is shining through..." yep, there's Rachel and her early-bird songs.

"Oh, there she is. The great broadway star, Rachel Streisand herself." Sam joked, which made the others chuckle.

"How come when he makes a joke, you all laugh, but when I make a joke: I get a head injury?" I asked.

"Well come on then, positions guys. Read or slouch around or something." Mercedes said. Everybody placed themselves for a task, like getting breakfast or reading the morning paper. I just sat there with a dull look on my face.

"Good morning, good morning, to you..." Rachel waltzed in moments later in her favorite emerald green dress, made especially by moi. "Morning everybody." she said.

"Happy Birthday-!" "Happy Birth-!" "Happy Birthday Rachel!" all these different birthday greetings came out from all our mouths, and a feliz cumpleaños from me.

"Aw, thank you guys." she said, giving each of us a hug. "I think tonight we should all go out for dinner tonight. I'll buy?" she asked.

"No, no, no. Rachel it's your birthday, we should treat you tonight." Sam said.

" Aw guys that's sweet. But you know maybe we could just order a pizza and go out to a club?" she suggested.

"None of us are twenty one." I said.

"Not one of those fancy smanchy alcoholic clubs, I mean that cute on on fifth avenue that allows all ages." she replied.

"I dunno. We'll think of something tonight. Don't worry." Mercedes said.

"Sounds great guys. Whatever you wanna do, I'll go along with it." she said, than started taking out flour, eggs, butter, and sugar.

"What're you doing?" Kurt asked.

"I'm making a cake." she replied.

"Why?" Sebastian asked.

"Because it's my birthday and I'm going to make us a birthday cake." she replied.

"Rachel, it's your birthday. You shouldn't have to make your own birthday cake." I said.

"Yeah, that's what Reese is for." Blaine replied, which earned a kick in the shin from Kurt.

"Yeah Rachel, I'll make you a delicious birthday cake. You're favorite chocolate fudge kind too with the three layers and the cream cheese filling in between the second and third layer? I know you love that." I said.

"Well consider this the first layer to your fudge cake. I feel like today is going to be such a great day." she said, then scampered away.

"Seems like now we got a small problem for the birthday cake." I said when she was out of earshot.

"What do you mean? You can make that cake in less than two hours." Mercedes asked.

"I know. But how am I supposed to make a three layer cake with two different types of filling, if Rachel is over here making her own cake?" I asked.

"You can do your baking at our apartment. We have a perfectly good oven anyway." Sam replied.

"Why do I feel like I'm going to wind up being a bad day?" I asked.

"Maybe you're indegested?" Sebastian suggested.

"From what?" 

"You're little go-around that we hear coming from the bedroom." Kurt replied. I shot out of my chair and picked up a pen.

"Another word about my sex life, we're going to be spending Rachel's birthday in the hospital...for you." I said.

"Would you control her please?" he asked Sebastian.

"Reese, stop misbehaving." he said to me. I looked at Kurt and slapped his arm, then looked back at Sebastian. "Didn't work."