Supernatural Season 9 Quotes

Episode 5

Dog Dean Afternoon

Dean: Always knew we'd find the source of all evil in a vegan bakery.

Sam: What's that smell?

Dean: Patchouli. And depression. From meat deprivation.

Dean: Hey. You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people... And douchebags.

Dylan Camrose: His business is fronted by hunters, and you know how hunters are. They're selfish dicks who define themselves by what they kill.

Dean: Okay, so... What are we talking here, some sort of a freaky-ass snake monster?

Sam: Maybe. The weird thing is snakes either envenomate or constrict. No snake does both.

Dean: Correction, freaky-ass mega-snake monster.

Dean: Right, so, yesterday, uh, we're dealing with some sort of a snake monster. Today, it's a killer kitty.

The Colonel: You call this classic rock? Heh, next thing you know, they'll be playing Styx. And Dennis DeYoung, a punk.

Dean: Dennis DeYoung is not a punk. He's Mr. Roboto, bitch!

Sam: Why are you arguing with the dog about Styx?

The Colonel: Where're we headed?

Dean: Back to the shelter.

The Colonel: To sniff out more clues? Maybe dig up something we missed?

Dean: All right, one more doggy pun and I'm gonna have your nuts clipped.

The Colonel: I hate to break it to you, hoss, but my sack's emptier than Santa's after Christmas.

Dean: Oh, are you kidding me? Dick move, pigeon!

Pigeon: Screw you asshat!

Dean: Wait a minute. Can I hear all animals?

The Colonel: Yup. Animals have a universal language -- like Esperanto. But this one actually caught on.

Pigeon: And I'm just gettin' started, too. Brewin' a real big one. Ha. Bet your ride's gonna look sweet in white.

Sam: What's he saying?

Dean: You, he's being a douchebag!

Pigeon: Who you callin' 'douchebag,' douchebag?

Dean: Oh, shut it, you winged rat!

Sam: Dude.

Dean: What?

Sam: Hey. Just calm down. Just get in the car.

Pigeon: Ha ha. That's right, Sally. Go cry to mama!

Dean (pulls out his gun): Oh, that's it, you son of bitch!

Yorkie: Hey, pretty boy. Over here.

Dean: Yeah, uh, sorry, pal. I'm done for the day.

Yorkie: But I saw everything! And I'll tell you, but it'll cost you.

Dean: What? Are you kidding me? I'm being extorted by a dog. Well, what do you want, huh? What? Beggin' Strips? Snausages?

Yorkie: Bitch, please. If I'm gonna rat someone out, it's got to be worth my while. I want... a belly rub.

Dean: You – All right.

Yorkie: Not from you, sweetie. From that big one. Over there. Hi!

Dean: Well, bad news is I'm gonna miss the flea bag. Good news is it looks like the spell is finally wearing off. You okay? The Stetson man got you pretty good.

Sam: Yeah, I'm fine. I-I just, uh... I can't stop thinking about what he said.

Dean: Oh, come on, Sammy. Guy was out of his freaking gourd.

Sam: Yeah, but, I mean, why- why would he ask that? Why – why did he want to know what I was?

Dean: Who the hell knows? He was all jacked up on juice, you know? He was possessed by – by something he couldn't control. It was... It was a – a matter of time before it completely took over. You can't reason with crazy, right?

Sam: I don't know.

Dean: Well, I do. Trust me, Sam. You got nothing to worry about.