Supernatural Season 9 Quotes

Episode 18

Meta Fiction

Metatron: What makes a story work? Is it the plot, the characters, the text? The subtext? And who gives a story meaning? Is it the writer? Or you? Tonight, I thought I would tell you a little story and let you decide.  

Castiel: Honor bar?... What's honorable about a miniature bar in a motel room?

Dean: Everything.  

Buxom Lass: Some times you need a break from the hustle and bustle of city life. #amiright? Sometimes you need some #CasaErotica.  

Gabriel: I used most of my juice to get back into porn. That came out wrong. So did that!  

Castiel: I'm just a soldier.

Gabriel: Bitch, please. You've been God more often than Dad has.

Castiel: Yeah, look how that turned out.  

Gadreel: I have been you Sam Winchester. Your insides reek of shame and weakness.  

Dean: Word around the campfire is you let the snake into the Garden. Ruined it for all of humanity.

Gadreel: I set them free. I loved humanity!

Dean: Well, you sure got a funny way of showing it, asshat.  

Sam: Dean! Dean- hey, are you okay?

Dean: Yeah, you gotta stop asking me that.  

Gadreel: How did your play turn out?

Metatron: It didn't quite turn out as I planned, but that is why we rewrite. That was God's problem, you know. He published the first draft. You gotta... keep at it 'til you get all your ducks in a row.  

Metatron: What writer doesn't love a good twist? My job is to set up interesting characters and see where they lead me. The byproduct of having well-drawn characters is they may surprise you. But I know something they don't know - the ending. How I get there doesn't matter as long as everybody plays their part.  

Ian: We've got some off the menu items, but this ain't Diagon Alley, man.  

Castiel: So you faked your own death?

Gabriel: And I assume you weren't let into Mensa while I was gone?

Castiel: What do you want from me?

Gabriel: Your help, Columbo. I'm getting the band back together. We're going on the "Kill Metatron" tour, and you're looking at the new frontman.

Metatron: Yes. This is the curious incident, eh Inspector Gregory?

Castiel: Who?

Metatron: Inspector Gregory? Sherlock Holmes? Silver Blaze? You have been around since scaly things crawled out of the muck, would it have killed you to pick up a book? Watch a movie?