Imperfectly Beautiful (Jordan Knight Fanfic, Liadan #3)

Italy and Interludes

-NATE-

Little blurry particles filled my vision and my pulse reverberated against my temples in a constant, painful thump.

"Please say something," Paige rasped and I dragged my eyes from watching the faint snowflakes fall from the sky to land on her.

I ran one hand along my forehead and gripped onto the steering wheel with the other to try to compose myself for a second as I pulled over on the side of the road.

I could barely see or think.

I was getting a migraine and the sound of Paige whimpering next to me seemed ten times louder than normal. I didn't know what to say or do—I couldn't process, my thoughts were frozen.

I bit my lower lip.

"Like what, Pay? What do you want me to say?" I stared at her blankly. "I don't think I'm the one with the explaining to do. I asked you if something was going on and you looked me dead in the eyes and told me no. What the fuck am I supposed to say right now? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Nathan," Paige sucked in a breath and stared at me with big brown eyes. "I didn't want to worry you, okay? I wanted to try to sort through things first."

"What things?"

Paige sighed deeply, "You remember when I came and visited you in Rome?"

I nodded.

Over the years, Paige had always popped in and out on my various tour stops. Therefore, when a change in my touring schedule had resulted in me having a few extra days left over to sightsee throughout Italy, she'd been thrilled to come join me. Together, we'd explored the major cities, enjoyed delicious food, ridden on gondolas, let our hair down for a little while, and taken full advantage of my fancy hotel. More than once, I'd subconsciously noted that the enchantment of the place was enough to convince even the coldest heart to soften and looking back I realized that visit was likely one of the reasons that had led me to realize I needed a break from working for a while. There was something so simplistic about not having any obligations that I'd been irritated when I'd had to return to the hustle and bustle of a tour schedule.

"Of course, I remember. It was amazing."

"Well," she looked down at her fingers pressed into her lap. "Messing around so much after we hadn't been together in a little while kind of irritated things...down there. So when I got back to LA, I went to see my gynecologist to get some antibiotics for a bladder infection and that's when I realized I'd just missed the expiration date for the implant. The doctor asked if we'd been using any kind of back up, but of course we hadn't. So she suggested that I just kind of wait a bit and see if I missed my period before I got a new one put in and in the meantime if I had sex, use condoms."

I ran a hand over my face, "That's why you asked me to use protection before we left LA?"

She gave a little nod, "If I wasn't pregnant, I didn't want to put us in a position where we weren't protected at all. I was already freaking out enough over this one scare for both of us. Between this and not getting a call back for work, I was almost at my wits' end. I didn't expect you to be home for weeks and I thought I'd have it all sorted out before I had to talk to you about it, but then you showed up back here and it threw me for a loop. I was trying to play cool, but I couldn't help letting my mind wander and try to imagine what this could mean for us. Out of nowhere, you were no longer just the guy I enjoyed sleeping with, but potentially the father of my baby and that changed things for me. I was trying not to let it show, but I guess you picked up on it anyway."

I nodded. "Potentially? So you don't know if you're pregnant?"

She shook her head, "No, but I was expecting my period last week and it didn't come. I keep telling myself it's just stress because I've never been so overwhelmed in my life, but I don't know. I'm pretty much on schedule, Nate. A few days off every now and then, but I've never completely missed before."