Unlikely Lovers

31: Connor

"Hey Connor, are you boys hungry?" Connor's mother asked, while Connor observed his Dad in the corner of the room listening in.

"Oh no thanks mum," he said much louder than usual, "I just ate a dick maybe later." His mother's face went white. Zoe was at the table in the middle of having a drink when she spat her water everywhere. Connor and Zoe burst out laughing. His father death-stared him. "Woah tough crowd tonight," he turned to his mum, making sure to tone down the sarcasm, "thanks for the offer but we are good." Connor made his way back up the stairs, Zoe was still trying to stop laughing while his mother had a very questioning look on her face. Connor was still laughing himself and was about to tell Evan all about it when he stopped at the doorway. And there he saw Evan, standing in his mirror, wearing Connor's favourite black hoodie. Something about seeing Evan like that really hit him hard in a soft spot. He felt his chest flutter as a smile spread across his face. The hoodie was too big, it hung past Evan's torso and the sleeves were all bunched up at the ends. Connor felt his whole body go warm and numb, as he watched his boyfriend smiling as he looked at himself in the mirror. Suddenly he saw Connor's reflection at the top. He froze.

"I- ah, sorry i was just about to take it off i just-" Connor walked in smiling.

"Shhh, no keep it on." Evan looked really nervous. Connor held Evan's head in his hands, gently stroking his cheeks.

"Are, are you sure?" Connor just nodded as he kissed Evan's forehead.

"I like it on you." Evan just smiled back, and got up onto his tip toes to plant a kiss on Connor's lips. Connor leaned in and kissed the boy in his arms, gentle and lovingly, taking in his own scent entwined with Evan's. When they pulled away Connor had started tearing up. Evan frowned.

"What is it?" Connor wiped his face quickly.

"You know the reason i take weed Evan?" Evan just shrugged, "To quiet the noises in my head." Connor swallowed hard. "I'm scared Evan." Evan's face was full of worry and concern.

"What is it Connor?" Connor laughed weakly.

"I'm scared of losing you Evan, my mum keeps going on about acting schools and colleges that are far away from here and-" he felt his throat tighten, "I don't want to lose you when this year ends." Evan shook his head.

"You won't lose me i promise." Connor shook his head harder.

"No Evan you don't understand," he could feel the tears burning in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks, "you are all that i have. I love you Evan." Evan stiffened, his whole face went white. Connor chuckled sadly, wiping his eyes. "You don't have to say it back, it's okay... I just, i need you to know Evan. I need you." Evan's own eyes filled up with tears.

"And i need you." Evan leant in and kissed Connor softly. If you had asked Connor a couple of months ago if he believed in love he would have straight up laughed at you, then probably proceed to shove you to the curb. All Connor had as a guide was his parent's relationship which was barely standing in between heated arguments and cold silences. But if you asked Connor again, in that moment as him and Evan kissed on their bed, as their tears intermingled on each other's faces, he would have said yes. Connor believed in love, and he knew because he felt it. He felt it with such an intensity that he was scared it would consume him and swallow him whole. It was like the sun was burning up inside him, engulfing every thought and every emotion and replacing it with Evan. His whole life Connor had tried so hard to keep himself isolated from the rest of the world, building his walls up bit by bit to keep out anything that got close to him. But now Connor didn't want that, he could feel his wall slowly breaking away, his thoughts and feelings seeping in through the cracks. Connor didn't want to hide anymore, no, more than anything Connor wanted to see the light. He wanted to step into the sun.