Unlikely Lovers

44: Evan

It had been weeks since Connor Murphy and Evan Hansen broke up. Evan saw Connor around every now and then, and guiltily he couldn't help but admit that he missed him. I mean why wouldn't he? It wasn't like he stopped loving him in the first place. Connor sat over at Rich's table, who swapped tables with the Heathers. As far as Evan could tell, all Connor Murphy ever did these days was rehearse, Evan saw him coming in and out of the performing arts rooms, normally with Rich by his side. One particular morning Evan was putting stuff in his locker when he heard footsteps being him.

"What up loser." It was Rich, Evan was surprised.

"What- what do you want?" Rich just laughed.

"Nothing really, just a punching bag and you look like the perfect goody-two-shoes for the job." He shoved Evan to the ground and kneeled down beside him. Evan curled himself in a ball and braced for impact.

"Rich what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Evan opened his eyes in shock, he knew that voice. He knew that voice better than he knew his own mind. Rich sighed.

"What's the matter Murphy?" Evan went to sit up when he felt a blow to the stomach, Rich had kicked him. Rich started laughing as Evan curled up on the ground. "Fag!" He spat. Evan could barely open his eyes enough to see what happened next. But he is sure glad he did. Connor practically picked Rich up and threw him against a wall.

"You leave Evan alone you understand me?" Rich shrugged.

"I don't understand, he's your Ex, I thought you'd find it funny." Connor shook his head at Rich with disgust, his hair falling all over his face. Connor never wore his hair up anymore.

"No wonder you're so fucking single." Evan saw Connor walked over to him. He felt a warm, electrical sensation run up his arm and Connor helped him to his feet.

"Connor I-" Connor didn't meet his eyes.

"Bye Evan." He walked off.

...

It was lunch time and Evan was sitting against the old building behind the school, it's where he spent for his his lunch breaks now. He felt bad for leaving Jared and Alana but he just couldn't take it any longer. He couldn't stand to be the broken third wheel of the group. He still saw them, he often talked to Jared on skype and he studied in the library with Alana after school some days. Evan was watching the trees rustling in the wind, he grabbed out his phone and a pair of earphones and pressed play. He came across the song by accident one day, it was called "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane. It reminded Evan of Connor, and this place where they used to sit when they first met. The song is was slow, and sort of bittersweet, but with a decent backbeat behind it. Evan smiled every time he heard it, it sounds like something Connor would like very much. Evan put his bag down and laid his head on it. It wasn't until he was startled by the bell did he realise he had fallen asleep. Evan got up and went to class, but he struggled through it. He had bad and good days at the moment, and this was one of the bad. Evan sat there staring at his blank notepad, all he could think about was Connor, and he felt so alone. After school Evan pretty much ran to the park. Something in him snapped. He threw his stuff down and ran up to the tallest tree he could find, the old oak tree he was only too well acquainted with. Evan began climbing, higher and higher, branch after branch, until he was near the top.

"I could do it." He told himself. "I could jump. No one would see. And this time, this time I wouldn't wake up." Evan looked down and braced himself. But he couldn't do it. The tears streamed down his face but he couldn't do it. Because all of a sudden he didn't feel lonely anymore. As he looked over the park all he could think about were al the memories he and Connor had shared. Like that time when they were dancing under the shade of the trees, or that time Connor raced him up this very tree. And the time Evan surprised Connor by jumping at him from the branches above him, or the time they held each other crying in this very forest. Happy memories, sad ones too, but overall Evan couldn't help but recall the life that they had shared, even if it was short. And if he died, who would remember then? Connor would but he'd be the only one. Evan didn't want to leave that burden with him. Evan slowly climbed down from the tree and sat in the park for a while, reflecting on everything. Connor, school, college, life in general. Evan found a strange source of comfort from it. It almost felt like Connor was there with him. And that made him feel okay enough to get up and walk home.