Unlikely Lovers

43: Connor

Connor finally decided to go back to school. He purposely got up late so he could walk himself to school, normally he hated it but Connor just wanted to be alone. Away from his nagging mother and sister, not to mention the dirty glares of his father. Connor finally got to school as everyone was going to homeroom when he faced confronted face to face with a very angry Rich.

"What the hell do you think your deal is? Huh? You think that you are just too good for this project, that suddenly you don't need to show up?" Connor rolled his eyes. This was not a good time.

"Fuck off Rich." Rich just looked at him.

"Excuse me, what the hell did you just say to me?" Connor slammed his locker.

"I said FUCK OFF RICH!" Rich jumped as Connor got in his face. Connor stormed off to class. Connor didn't bother to do any of the work, he just sat at the back of the class with his head on the desk. He was walking the halls during lunch when someone slammed him up against the lockers.

"What the fuc-"

"Listen up Murphy." It was Jared, who looked like he was going to fucking murder him. "Evan told me what you did." Connor just slumped his shoulders.

"And?" Jared starting laughing, he was fuming at the seams.

"And? Is that all you have to say for yourself? Evan is a good guy Connor alright? You you fucking broke his heart you sorry piece of shit." Connor shook his head.

"I did what i had to." Jared pressed a finger into Connor's chest.

"No you didn't, you ran away like a fucking coward." Connor spoke under his breath.

"Don't call me a coward." Jared just smiled at him.

"Ah sorry what was that? I don't speak freak you know." Connor shoved Jared hard, he stumbled back.

"I said DON'T CALL ME A COWARD."

"There he is, the freak show Connor Murphy in all his heart-breaking glory." Connor shook his head.

"Mock me all you like Kleinmen but at least I'm not living in denial." Jared laughed.

"Are you serious? Is this about the fact that we are all graduating and going off to college?" Connor just stood there.

"It was bound to happen alright, Evan and i are bound to split up." Jared crossed his arms.

"Says who huh? What that Rich guy? That cheap asshole? He's in my history class and the dude is on something I'm telling you." Connor threw his arms in the air.

"Well that's great, you can live in your little bubble where everything is alright and you can pretend that you and Alana are going to have a fantastic life together. But don't come crying to me when it all falls apart because i'll be here telling you this; i told you so." Connor went to walk off but Jared grabbed his arm.

"You really think I don't know that I'll probably lose Alana after this year?" Connor turned around, "Because i fucking know it alright? She is the smartest person i know, she is kind and funny and beautiful and has her whole fucking life planned out for herself. Do i honestly think she will stick around for this?" Jared gestured to himself laughing. "No," he said shaking his head, "no i don't." Connor could see Jared tearing up. "I have no idea what the fuck i want to do with my life, i hate my dad because he has a drinking problem, but most of all i hate myself." He laughed, "So fucking much." He sat down against the wall. "I don't know why she chose me or what she sees in me." He looked up at Connor. "But that's the difference between you and me Murphy. I know Alana deserved better, i know she could have anyone she wanted, but right here right now she loves me. And so I'm going to be there for her and do all i can for her until the day she turns around and says she doesn't want me anymore." Connor could feel his own eyes burning.

"The thought of it thought, its just- terrifying." Jared nodded.

"That it is. But that's what you do when you love someone Connor. You stick around. Even when the odds are next to none, even when you feel it's all going to turn into a shitshow you stay. That's what love is. The courage to stay when all you want to do is run away and hide. And forget." Jared sighed. "Maybe you're right Connor. Maybe Alana will leave me for someone else and I'll be left heartbroken," Jared got to his feet. "Or maybe she won't." He looked at Connor, "Either way I'm planning to stick around to find out." And with that Jared walked off, leaving Connor completely speechless. Connor left school early, he didn't give a shit his mother would phone up with some excuse as she always did. He just went to bed and laid there staring at the ceiling. He smoked some weed that he managed to get his hands on when he escaped the house one night, from his dealer that lives like two blocks away. Connor got out his books and tried to study, but all the words just blended into one for him. He jumped at the sound of his door slamming open, Zoe was standing in the doorway.

"That's it Connor you've got some explaining to do." Connor groaned.

"Oh what the fuck do you want?" Zoe shook her head.

"What has happened to you? You were getting better Connor." Connor shook his head. "Look Evan told me what happened so you might as well drop the act." Connor sat up.

"Why are you talking to him?" Zoe threw her arms up.

"To try and figure out what the fuck is wrong with you!" Connor laughed to himself.

"I know what you are doing," he said darkly, "maybe it was your plan all along, you're trying to get close to Evan, to make him fall in love with you to get back at me. Because you're the better sibling!" Zoe looked both shocked and sickened.

"What the fuck Connor?" Connor laughed even harder.

"That's why you kissed him didn't you? You knew i could see you in the cafeteria you played your cards and kissed him to make me jealous!" Zoe ran over and pulled a package out from under Connor's bed. She shook her head angrily as she threw it at him.

"You're fucking high again!" Zoe yelled.

"What's it to you?" He yelled back. Zoe shook her head.

"You were getting better, Evan made you better. I'm taking your stash and flushing it." Connor rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah? Well take this while you are at it!" Connor grabbed the blue pot off his bookshelf and pressed it into Zoe's arms. She shook her head.

"Evan gave you that." Connor sighed.

"Well Evan isn't exactly here is he? So bin the fucking thing." Zoe shook her head as the tears welled up in her eyes.

"You are a horrible person Connor." He just looked at her.

"YEAH WELL FUCK YOU ZOE MURPHY GO KILL YOURSELF." Zoe ran out of the room crying. Connor slammed his door so hard that the hinges rattled. Then he just laid on his bed and closed his eyes until the sleep came.