Just Another Emo Love Story

Chapter 14

"How are you feeling Jess?" Blake asked softly, he was still holding me tightly as I laid there still holding Liz.
I shrugged at his question, not because I didn't want to answer out of fear, but because I truly don't know how to answer him, I don't feel anything, well that's kind of a lie, my heart is in so much pain, I feel like my mother took a huge chunk of my soul with her when she left. I just can't seem to find it in me anymore to cry.
"I'm gonna get Liz ready for school, how about you just stay in bed and get some rest." Blake suggested.
"Alright." I answered simply as I released my grip on Liz, I watched as Blake took his little sister out of the room and suddenly, I felt completely alone and cold to the bone.
It was getting harder and harder to keep breathing, it felt like I were breathing in a dozen sewing needles and breathing out razor blades.
Slowly I crawled out of bed and headed to the bathroom, I need to shower. Subconsciously I had grabbed my razor blade on my way into the shower, I didnt realize I had the blade until I felt the familiar sting that came along with such actions.
Looking down I saw my blood running from my wrist onto the palm of my hand down my slim fingers and finally running down the drain it was intoxicating to me so I continued it allowed me to feel something at least and right now that's what I need more than anything.

Blake's P.O.V.

I had walked out of Jessica's room with Liz in my arms I had gotten her ready for school and found that there was food already cooked for Jessica, Liz and myself I went on search for a pen and a piece of paper to say thanks while Liz was happily eating her bacon eggs and sausages with a side of pancakes.
Liz has never seen this much food on a plate in her life so I'm positive shes gonna do whatever she can to finish her food so it doesnt go to waste that's how she is. Liz has the kindest soul I have ever seen I will do whatever I can to make sure that she stays this sweet little girl forever, I wont let this world change her.
Suddenly I heard someone behind me, whipping around I found Jessica's dad.
"Good morning sir." I greeted him. "Thank you for the breakfast you really didn't have to." I finished politely.
"You're friends of Jessica's?" He asked, completely ignoring my greeting and my thanks.
"Yes we are, she actually helped my little sister and I out yesterday, I am extremely thankful to your daughter." I explained.
"Shes got a kind heart to everyone but me." Her dad laughed humorlessly. "What's your name boy?" He asked.
"My name is blake, I am 17 years old and this is my little sister Liz shes 6 years old." I said as I introduced myself and introduced Liz.
"That's quite an age gap between you and Liz." Her dad raised his eyebrow at me.
"Her mother married my father 3 years ago." I answered simply.
"So step siblings? Where is your dad?" He asked.
"Yes step siblings, and hes dead has been for a year next month." I started as I looked at my feet, I feel like I'm being interrogated.
"I'm sorry to hear that, my name is Joe so you can call me Joe instead of sir from now on."
"Nice to meet you Joe, I've seen you here a lot within the past 6 months moving things in and decorating but I never thought youd have a daughter, i may have been more inclined to come help out around her if I'd have known." I joked.
"So you are intrested in Jessica." He said with a laugh.
"A little bit. Shes cool and we do get along quite nicely, and no ones ever stuck their neck out for me the was she had yesterday." I answered honestly.
Joe glanced down at his watch and asked. "Does she need a ride to school? It's almost 9am." He stated.
I had lost track of time to talking to Joe.... "That would be wonderful thank you so much Joe." I said with a smile as I hurried to get Liz ready and get her a lunch for school, once i was done Joe got his shoes on and opened the door.
Turning back he looked at me and said. "You are welcome to stay as long as you want, Jessica is going to need someone who's been through this before."
I simply nodded my head in return, hes right she is going to need me I remember how much it hurt when I heard my dad had died in a car accident his brakes were cut and he was going over a bridge.
Slowly I headed back up the stairs and into Jessica's room, she was laying on the bed her hair was wet and her back was turned to me.
I approached the bed gently climbed in behind her holding her to my chest firmly.
Whispering into her ear I asked. "How are you feeling right now?"
"I'm fine." She mumbled, as she started to turn to face me, she didnt look like she had been crying you can see she hadn't slept and you can see the pain in her eyes you can hear the sorrow in her shaking breath.
"I know you are." I smiled softly and kissed her on the forehead. She's strong she will get through this I know it.
Suddenly I felt her moving and her lips were on mine. To say I was shocked is an understatement, I felt her cold hands go up the back of my shirt and I froze for a second pulling back to look at her.
Her face was flushed and she looked pained. "Please Blake, I...I need an escape just for awhile." She begged quietly.
Looking at her and the pain she was going through I couldnt say no, so instead I began to kiss her gently and slowly flipped us so I was on top of her, I placed my hand softly on her cheek and began to kiss down to her neck I heard her soft quiet moans and I stopped for a second.
"Are you sure about this?" I whispered to her.
"Please Blake." Her voice sounded so helpless and broken.
"You just had your first kiss a few days ago, and I'm guessing you're still a virgin, am I right?" I asked quietly.
"Blake, just do it please, I'm begging you stop asking questions and stop trying to talk me out of it, I'm not backing down." Jessica said sternly.
"Fine, if I go too far and you decide you dont want to anymore say something and I'll stop push me away and I'll stop I dont want you to-" I was cut off by Jessica pulling my face down to hers and kissing me.
I started to give in and take back control of the situation I sat her up and took off her top leaving her there in her black lace bra looking at the golden clip in the front of it, I wanted to unclip it so bad but I didnt want to push it just in case Jessica decided to back out.
I kept glancing at her face and she seemed more alive at this moment she didmt look pained by anything then I looked down at her wrists, there was dried blood on them they were fresh.
I laid her back down gently and began to kis down her body i ran my fingers over her wrists gently and brought my lips to each one of her new cuts I repeated that action with her other wrist.
Looking up at her I could see her looking down at me nervously I slowly started to strip off her shorts along with her panties, and still she said nothing she didnt tell me to stop she didnt push me away instead she surprised me by sitting up suddenly and began to kiss me and bite my neck gently causing a moan to escape from my throat causing me to blush a little she starting to take my shirt off but she couldnt do it causing me to laugh and take it off for her.
I could tell that her nerves were starting to kick in a bit when she pushed me onto my back and climbed on top of me staring at my Jean's and the erection that lay underneath.
"I um...." she started to say as she blushed like mad.
"Its okay Jess, you don't have to." I said reassuringly and kissed her softly.
"That's why you think I'm nervous?" She asked. "I'm nervous cause I dont want to do the wrong thing and being a failure in your eyes." Jessica laughed.
Pursing my lips I thought that she had finally changed her mind that she didnt want this that she wasnt ready and realized that herself but here we are almost to the point of no return.
"What?" Jessica asked.
"Look I-" I started to say but was cut off.
"Don't tell me that you dont want to." Jessica said sternly. "I can feel you underneath me." Jessica said as a blush took hold of her cheeks.
"I do want you its just-" again I was cut off by Jessica.
"Then please Blake I need to feel something else right now, just do it for me." Jessica begged.
I nodded slowly and began to undo my belt and take off my Jean's and boxers.
I lay there completely exposed to her and she then unclipped her bra and shrugged it off leaving her breasts exposed to me and she then slowly laid next to me for a second I thought she had given up that she didn't want it but then I saw her pleading eyes for me to make the first move.
So I rolled over so I was on top of her I placed the tip right at her entrance and I paused again is she going to hate me if I do this when she vulnerable and an easy target?
"Blake it's fine I promise, I still want this." She said as she placed her hand on my cheek reassuring me.
Slowly I inserted myself into her inch my inch giving her time to adjust.
I could see the pain on her face and a thin sheet of sweat on her neck as she was moaning quietly everytime I moved finally I was completely inside her already I was on the verge of losing control, I wanted to fuck her as hard as I could but I wanted her to enjoy this as much I was.

Jessica's P.O.V.

I was in so much pain and finally he was completely inside of me and it was really hard for me to breathe for a bit.
"Relax Jess, deep breaths tell me when I can start moving and it's not gonna hurt you." Blake whispered as he moved a strand of hair of my face gently and he started to bite my neck and suck on my neck and play with my breasts a little bit as he waited for me to be ready the more turned on I got the more I wanted him to fuck me.
"Okay you're good." I told him and he slowly started to pull out before inserting himself back inside of me. We continued like this for awhile till I was able to take a faster pace.
"Faster please." I moaned out.
"Are you sure?" Blake asked as he drew his brows slower together.
"I want you to go as fast as you can." Yes I'm being cocky he keeps asking if I'm sure like I get the decency but come on how many times does a girl have to tell you that she wants to be fucked?
Needless to say, I regretted my decision of telling him to go as fast as he could.
Meaning he was going faster but he was also going harder and it gave me less time to regain my composure and get used to this.
Before I knew it he had pulled out and flipped me over onto my knees and he pushed my face down and inserted himself inside of me yet again and this position hurt even more than the previous one cause now he was also going deeper, much deeper.
I felt this pressure building up inside of me I didnt know what it was and then out of nowhere it just exploded and left shaking and feeling exhausted.
Not long after I felt Blake's movents become even faster if that's possible and then he pulled out and I felt something warm and sticky on my lower back.

A/N
I know its been awhile, the last 2 years has been kinda shitty found out I'm bipolar...turns out what I thought bipolar was is not was it actually is there is four stages stage one is manageable depression you still have the normal ups and downs but you dont exactly contemplate suicide everyday and stage four is you're constantly in and out of psychiatric hospitals for numerous suicide attempts and cant get out of bed a good portion of the time like this happening almost everyday and you get like a week if that where you have these bursts of energy that you camt slow down and you just feel absolutely great and then the rest of the month...is suicide attempt after suicide attempt if not treated correctly, I'm stage three I found this out about 6 months ago, so where as I may not be in and out of psychiatric hospitals I'm still constantly contemplating suicide, I cant get out of bed for the life of me I have little to no motivation for the things that I enjoyed I have no interests and pretty much anything besides sleeping cause that's when I feel alive.