Fire and Ice {Ereri/Riren}

Chapter 17 - With love comes pain

Hey guys!! I am soooo sorry! I haven't up dated for like 4 days!! I did put a comment explaining why in Chapter 16 - Butterflies, but i felt a pang in my heart and I told myself I had to go on!! So here I am at 9 O'clock on a school night. Anyway, enough of my babbling! Sorry for the late update but I hope u enjoy this chapter!!

Warning: This chapter may be triggering for some readers.

Levi P.O.V

I re-played the kiss in my mind at least a thousand times over the next hour, it was all I could think about! Eren's lips were so soft, and the way he blushed as we were kissing turned me on. Ugh, I want him right now, I need him. But I can't have him, not just yet anyway. If our relationship gets that far and he's willing to then I'm all for it. I could imagine it now. The way he caressed my chest with his soft fingers, the way he giggled nervously as I pulled him onto me, the way he groaned when I- Sorry I'm going a bit far there.. Anyway, I couldn't wait for our date I was so excited but scared at the same time. What if he didn't like my obsession with cleanliness? That was one of my million flaws, one that I hated. I just can't stand mess! It gets in the way and you cant find anything in it. Oh god..... What if Eren is really sloppy and never cleans up after himself?!? Shit.. I never thought of that!!

Wait- what am I doing? I shouldn't be judging him when I don't even know him all that well! Tch, another one of my flaws. I'm judge mental. I don't care when people say, 'don't judge a book by it's cover.' If the cover doesn't look good then I wont pick it up, simple as that. I probably sound like a right dick. Well I am to be honest. I've been this way since my brother... I can't bring myself to say it. I loved my brother, when we were little we would dig up worms in the garden and make a worm farm for them, go out to the park and push each other on the swings, we even built our first snow man together. But now my other half has left, it feels like there is a gaping hole in my heart. A hole that can be filled by Eren's love. I just need to try. I got up of the couch and dragged myself up the stairs, I went into the bathroom expecting mess or something from when Armin had used it but there was nothing. It was spotless. 'Hmm..' Then it clicked, 'he must have used it as an excuse so Eren could talk to me!' (Well let's just say there wasn't much talking, if you know what I mean) I smirked and walked over to the mirror examining my reflection.

My black hair was still messy from when we kissed and I reluctantly combed it, removing all traces of Eren's touch. I put the comb back in the cupboard and starred at myself. I was a wreck. I hadn't noticed but there was a tear stain on my right cheek, I must of cried when I was thinking about my brother. 'No.' I thought angrily swiping the stain off my face forcefully with my thumb. 'I promised him I wouldn't cry anymore, I promised him I would be strong. But I long for him to come back, to hold him in my arms, to feel my other half reunite itself.' The tears gathering in my eyes were making my sight blurry, I blinked twice and they streamed down my face. Not breaking my gaze from the mirror I opened the cupboard door and felt around. There it is, my razor. I held my arm over the sink and lifted my sleeve revealing long white scars. I took in shaky breaths and squeezed my eyes shut as I dragged the razor across my arm, letting my blood breath for the first time. 'I'm sorry... Kou...'

Sorry it's a short chapter!! I got the name Kou from Ao Haru Ride which some of you may know already. I chose his name because he kinda has a similar personality as Levi, but once you open the door to his heart it will be set free. Lol I sound so cheesy. As you may have guessed, in the story Levi had a twin brother named Kou. But sadly Kou passed away at the age of 12. SORRY ABOUT ALL THE DEPRESSING STUFF BUT IT GETS BETTER I PROMISE!!