insane ✿ a.i

mess

"Why so sad," a voice croons.

I open my eyes a bit and look around and see a little girl sitting in the corner.

She is smiling and has something in her arms. Ashton's flannel.

She gives me a grins as she twirls the flannel around her hands.

She is bruised and bloody, but she still grins as she hums a lullaby. 

A snort comes from behind me and something is constraining my waist. I peek down and see a pair of tiny, bruised arms wrapped around me. My body becomes stiff as I realize that the girl is not where she was last. A fit of laughter erupts from behind me and I scream.

-

"Josie!"

I squeeze my eyes shut tighter as I pound my fists up into a hard surface. I don't know what the girl is trying to do to me, but I won't let her hurt me.

Large hands wrap around my tiny ones and pins them down. My tears start to fall freely and I cry out.

But a soothing voice coaxes my eyes open, "Josie, it's okay. It's just me, Ashton."

I blink a few times and see his worried expression and the tears start to fall again because I don;t want him to see me like this. I'm a mess. And as he wraps his bare arms around my shoulders and pulls me into his chest I realize that this will never last. I will be stuck in here and one day Ashton is going to leave, or even before then, and he will meet a beautiful, normal girl. A girl with tattoos maybe, or a girl who loves to write. He deserves that, not some mess.

I push myself away from him gently and look away from him as I sniffle and wipe away my tears. K see him out of the corner of my eye give me a concerned look but i take a deep breath and look over his shoulder as I speak to him in a monotone voice.

"Thank you," another deep breath because he is beautiful and makes me feel things I have never felt before and I don't want to feel them for him any longer because he doesn't need this mess, "For everything, you can go." 

With that I turn over and curl up into a ball. Voices scream inside of my head and my eyes roll shut because the pain I am experiencing is excruciating. 

-

I'm sorry its sooooo short but I will be doing an update again this weekend.

School started and I just had a ton of work to do, Im sorry.