insane ✿ a.i

shiver

Ashton looks down to me and reaches for my chin, but I pull away, angry with myself.

I don't want him to see me like this.

I say I don't want to be crazy, but here I am punching walls and crying.

"Josie," Ashton whispers, "Please just take my hand."

I look at his outstretched hand and take it in mine.

-

Moments later we are standing outside by the fountain I have noticed him at so many times.

A cool breeze wisps around us, almost as if it were encircling us; I shiver and so does Ashton, he feels it too.

Ashton releases my hand and goes over to the fountain where he bends down and I hear him moving stones. Moments later he is holding the journal I saw him with before.

-

"Here," Ashton breaks the silence, "In this journal I write anything that comes to mind. From every scary, angry, disgusting thought to the beautiful , peaceful, and calm ones."

He places it in my hands and lets his hands encase mine, I shiver again but this time because of his touch.

"Read it sometime."

All I can do is nod.

-

We sit down in a grass patch of the garden and talk.

He is 22 and his last name is Irwin. He is from Australia and loves to play the drums, which explains why is upper body is so exquisitely carved. He has so many tattoos, but he tells me he either designed them himself or his best mate did. Plus they all do actually have meaning behind them. We don't go into detail about our childhood's or recent past, more or less the basics of knowing someone.

It was nice, it felt almost normal.

Almost.

-

I must have fallen asleep when we were conversing because when I open my eyes stars blanket over us.

I glance over to where Ashton was earlier, but he isn't there.

I sit up quickly and look around.

"Come out and play!"

"Please!!! I have a new game I want to play!"

I whip toward the voice but don't see anything.

But then I see a bandanna laying on the grass, with blood droplets on it.

Slowly I look up to where the blood is dripping from and see a bloody hand, my eyes travel from the hand up to the shoulder and I see Ashton's face. But his eyes are crying blood. The blood flows from his eye sockets down to his chest where is flows like a river down his arms to drip off of his fingertip.

I scramble back and scream.

-

"Please!"

Something shakes me and I whip open my eyes, terrified they have come for me now, but all I see is Luke's worried eyes gazing into mine.

"Jo," he breathes taking me into his arms, "Are you okay?"

I glance around as he hugs me, I limply embrace him back, I see no sign of Ashton.

Then I think, was it all a dream?

But then I see his journal by my feet.

Disappointed, I stand up and follow Luke in, still glancing around trying to find Ashton.

-

Yay! So I'm back and will be updating this frequently. So sorry for the disappearance, I had a lot going on with my life and my own mental health was not the best so I needed sometime to focus on myself.

If you are still reading this I thank you, I will be working very hard on this!

Sorry this is a sloppy update, I did this in the matter of 20 minutes I think.

xoxo