lie //yoonmin

31 // yoongi

I listen to Hoseok as he talks on the phone with Jimin. Jimin who I haven't spoken to in days. Jimin who will never look at me again when he find out what I've done. 

Hobi's eyes are watering as he finally hangs up after telling the younger boy many lies.

"He said he misses you," Hoseok says, heart breaking for Jimin, who he had gotten pretty close to over the past month. "How could you do this Yoongi?"

"What do you expect me to do? Just go back to him like everything is fine?!" I yell. "It's not fine!! I'm not fine!"

"Why did you kiss Jungkook in the first place," he yells back.

Hobi never yells. He never gets mad. Seeing him like this is probably one of the most terrifying things I've ever witnessed.

"I-I don't know," I reply with a shaky voice, feeling suddenly intimidated. "I just saw him and all the old memories came back."

"That doesn't mean you need to kiss him," he scoffs.

"I never got closure. I just needed to one last time and I don't expect you to understand- I just needed to do it," I argue.

"Yeah, how do you think Jungkook feels about that? You told me he tried to kill himself over you- aren't you just making him relive all the pain all over again?"

I didn't think about that. I actually didn't think at all.

"Shit," I mutter, falling back into the blankets I've been hiding in for the past 3 days. "I need to find him and make sure he's ok."

"No you don't!" Hobi growls. "You're the last thing Jungkook needs. You need to talk to Jimin."

"And tell him what," I cry. "Tell him I kissed my ex willingly?! You think he would still want me?! I can't lose him Hoseok!"

I break down, sobbing into the white cotton sheets for the hundredth time. Hobi's angry gaze disappears when he hears me choking on my own tears.

It  hurts. Far more than it even did with Jungkook. I haven't been with Jimin for long, but I can't imagine my life without him and I definitely don't want to. I'm afraid what I've done is unforgivable. I can't even forgive myself for it, why would Jimin?

Hoseok pulls me into his arms again, rubbing comforting circles into my back until I calm down again.

"You're such a mess," he teases.

"Shut up," I shove him, but not hard enough to push him away.

"Listen, you need to talk to Jimin," he starts. "He's worried about you. Tae said he's trying to not to get in your way but he also said you're all he thinks about anymore. You're hurting him, Yoongs. The longer you keep this up, the more irreversible it will become. Go explain what happened before it's too late."

"You're right," I sigh. "Why are you always right?"

"Because I'm your hope," he replies simply with a straight face. 

"Well what do I do about Jungkook?" I ask, still feeling horrible over the events that occurred a couple nights ago. 

"I'll find him and make sure he's ok," Hoseok says. "You don't- you don't still have feelings for him, do you?"

"I don't," I answer surely.

"Ok, I'll go figure out where Jungkook is then," He says, getting off my bed to track down the boy who is hopefully safe. "You call Jimin or go see him ok?"

I find myself still starting at Jimin's number long after Hoseok leaves. My finger is hovering over the call button but I can't seem to press it.

No... I can't do it. I don't wanna get hung up on again without even given the chance to say goodbye.

I pull myself out of bed and head down to my car not giving a shit about my appearance.

Standing in front of Jimin's door, I can feel my heart beating out of my chest. I'm not ready for this. What do I even say to him. There's nothing that can make what I did ok. I don't even have a solid reason.

I groan and sit down with my back against his door. How could I fuck up so badly. It barely been a month and I've fucking cheated on him.

I can't do this. I get up to leave.

At the worst possible time, the door opens and someone trips over me, falling right on top of me.

"Yoongi?" Jimin looks utterly confused but he doesn't bother getting off of me.

I stand up and help him up as well.

"Why are you-?" He trails off. "How long have you been sitting there?"

"Doesn't matter-"

He cuts me if as soon as he gets a clear look at my face.

"Oh my gosh Yoongi! I knew you were over working yourself. Come inside, you so tired. I wanted to call you so bad but I didn't want to get in the way of your work," he explains dragging me into his kitchen.

"Jimin stop please," I say, heart breaking. I don't deserve him. I don't deserve his concern.

"Is everything ok?" He asks chewing on his lower lip nervously.

"N-no." This is going to hurt him just as much as it hurts me. "I did something bad Jimin. Your gonna hate me when I tell you."

I can feel the anxiety in him growing as well as in myself. The way he's playing with his fingers and shifting on his feet. He waits patiently for me to continue.

"I-" I can't do it.

"I accidentally kissed Hoseok," the lie slips out easily. "He spent the night at my place yesterday and we fell asleep together. I was sleepy and I thought he was you. I'm so sorry Jiminie."

I hate myself. I absolutely hate myself. I hate how easily I was able to lie to him. I hate how easily he believed me. And I especially hate the fact that he doesn't look mad.

"Yoongi I don't hate you for that," he giggles. "It was just an accident."

No, no. Yell at me. Kick me out. Get mad. Don't fucking giggle. I wanna scream.

I'm at a loss for works. "O-oh ok."

"Now come help me make lunch," he smiles taking my hand. "You look like you haven't been eating well. And right after lunch you're taking a nap because you clearly haven't slept enough."

I hold back the tears threatening to spill. He bought my story- that was what I wanted right? Now everything is ok, I just pretend like it never happened.

I chop vegetables while he boils some noodles at the stove. I keep my distance. It doesn't feel right to touch him. However, he isn't happy with my decision.

"Yoongi stop being weird," Jimin whines. "I'm not mad."

He takes my arms and wraps them around himself while he stands by the stove. My chest pressed to his back, I take in his intoxicating scent and I can feel myself getting high on him once again.

I lean my forehead against his shoulder, telling myself not to fuck up again. I've been given another chance. I don't like that I lied, but what he doesn't know can't hurt him.

I press a soft kiss to his exposed skin at the base of his neck.

"I missed you," I say, letting my lips brush against his neck with every words.

"I missed you too," he sighs, leaning back into me.

~V

Let's see how long this lie will hold up :)

(Edit: I just realized this book is called lie lmao that worked out well)