lie //yoonmin

34 // jimin

"I think I like him, Jimin," Tae says with his head buried in his pillow. "How do I know for sure?"

"Well, do you wanna kiss him?" I ask. "Do you wanna touch him? Be with him?"

He turns to look at me with hesitation in his eyes.

"Don't think Tae, just answer. Logic doesn't matter right now. What's your heart saying?" I say.

"I-I do," he says with a shaky voice.

"And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that," I squeeze his shoulder.

"But I- I'm not gay," he says, starting to think again. "Am I?"

"It doesn't matter. You don't need to label yourself like that. If you're sure of what you feel towards Hobi hyung then there's nothing stopping you. He no doubt likes you," I tell him.

It's what I would have wanted to hear when I was questioning my sexuality. I was trying so hard to put a label on myself before I had even experienced anything- that was my mistake.

"A-are you sure?" He asks, sitting up.

"I'm positive," I smile. "Yoongi hyung told me Hobi hyung's basically been in love with you since he first saw you at the cafe."

"Really?" he giggles.

I nod before tackling him in a hug. "I'm so proud of you TaeTae."

"Why?" he questions. "I haven't even come out."

"Still. It's hard to admit you're not straight." I kiss his forehead. "But take your time. Nobody is pressuring you."

"Thank you so much Jiminie," he snuggles against me with a big box smile.

Eventually we both fall asleep but I'm awoken by a loud crash. Tae is still still snoring. I rush downstairs to see what happened. I find Jungkook on the ground at the bottom of the stairs in the dark.

"Oh my gosh!" I run down to him, thankful to see he's not hurt.

"I'm ok hyung," he says as I help him up. "I was just going to get some water but I tripped."

"C'mon, I'll help you," I say, wrapping an arm around his waist so he can easily get to the kitchen

I remember what Jin hyung said earlier about Jungkook and I wonder if I should ask him about it now. I get him a glass of water while he leans against the counter playing with the strings of one of Jin's hoodie's that hung loosely from his shoulder. 

Under the kitchen lights, I can see that the swelling on his eye has gone down significantly but the bruises on his face and body have turned into a dark purple.

"I'm ok," he says again, seeing me staring at him. "Stop being so concerned."

He sounds almost guilty.

"Jungkook? What happened last night?" I ask slowly, handing him the water.

"I got beat up," he says simply, taking a sip.

"I know that's not all," I say, choosing my words carefully. 

The emotionless look in his eyes suddenly floods with tears.

"No don't cry! I'm sorry," I say moving forward. 

He puts up a hand to stop me. "I'm not-"

"Jungkookie-" He flinches at the nickname.

"Don't call me that," he says harshly. "Why don't you ask your boyfriend what happened huh? I'm not surprised that he hasn't told you."

I freeze up. What does Yoongi have to do with this?

Then it clicks.

Jungkook.

Jungkookie.

Kookie.

"To my one and only Kookie"

~V

Just a couple tips for anyone struggling with their sexuality right now:

1. You don't need to label yourself. You find out what you are as you experience more so don't stress yourself on trying to find a word to fit you.

2. Take your time with coming out. Nobody is pressuring you. Doesn't matter how old you are, don't do it until you feel comfortable. Especially if you don't feel safe.

3. When you do decide to come out, make sure it is to people that you trust and you know will accept you. Me and my best friend came out to each other at the same time on accident and the support just made me so much more confident with myself. (I'm pan btw)

4. In the wise words of Kim Namjoon: "Speak yourself". It doesn't matter what other people think of you- you are beautiful, valid, and free to love whoever the fuck you want.

Thank for coming to my TED Talk :)

Love ya'll <3