lie //yoonmin

37 // yoongi

"Hyung- you know we can't publish this," Jisung says, looking at me with a concerned look that I absolutely hate.

"And why the fuck not," I spit.

"Because the main character died halfway through the story?" He points out. "We're selling romance- not depression."

"Well I'm depressed," I shrug. "I have no romance. I shouldn't even be writing these stories. I'm probably the least qualified person in the world."

"You can't let your personal problems get in the way of your work," a new voice says. 

Chan enters our meeting room with a strict face.

"I know, I'm sorry," I quickly say to my boss.

"Sorry isn't gonna cut it Min, you've been falling behind and your work is nowhere near as good as it was," he says making me nervous for what he's leading up to.

"If you don't get back on track then we have no choice but to drop this project," he says without emotion.

"No! No, you can't do that. There's so many people looking forward to this," I say, thinking of the fans that have been talking about this book with such excitement. All the people that have stood with me and brought me up to where I am, I can't let those people down.

"Exactly," Chan snaps. "So get on top of it or you won't have a contract with SKZ anymore."

He leaves without another word leaving me and Han to stare at each other in shock.

I can't lose this job. It would ruin my reputation if the public finds out I was dropped from one of the best publishing companies in the world.  My parents- I would never be able to lose them in the face again. 

"We can do this hyung," Han says with a determined look in his eyes. "Don't worry."

His encouragement usually cheers me up, but this time- I'm not sure if I believe him. I'm not sure if I can get back up from this.

- - -

I sit in from of my laptop with a blank mind. I know exactly what I need to write. I know it word for word, but I can't seem to find the energy to lift my hands up and press the keys. I haven't eaten in days but I can't find a reason to go the kitchen and cook something.

My own friends have barely checked up on me. They're all busy comforting Jimin. Hobi did tell me he gave Jimin a job at his studio. That's good- it's about time he started dancing again. He used to tell me about how much he used to love dancing all the time. I loved watching him twirl around the living room whenever I played music. I just wish is could watch him now.

Hobi also told me Jungkook had gotten into as accident. And emphasized how it's completely my  fault. He's said Kookie is doing better now though and apparently him and Jimin have gotten close. 

I'm pretending like that none of this hurts me. That I lost the love of my life. That I caused my ex to almost take his life. That my best friend hates me. That I might lose my job.

My phone rings with a number that isn't from work for the first time in days.  Surprisingly, it's Jin.

"Hello?" I try not to cringe at how tired and sick my voice sounds.

"You sound horrible," Jin states.

"Thanks," I say flatly.

"Yoongi- " he doesn't finish his thought and instead asks: "Have you eaten?"

I shake my head and then realize he can't see me. "No."

"Yeah I figured," he sighs. "I'm coming over."

"What? Why? Do you even know where I live?" I question.

"Of course I do. You dated my baby, I needed to be ready for anything," he states.

Dated. As in... in the past. I ignore the few tears that well up in my eyes.

"I'm gonna come make you dinner. You shouldn't be alone right now either," he says, unaware of how badly I needed someone to say that.

I hate how his words warm my freezing heart. I don't deserve that kind of kindness but I agree anyways. I'm so desperate for someone else's presence.

- - -

Never in a million years did I think I would be crying into Jin's arm's. He's been so kind to me in the past 2 hours he's been here. Not at all the way he should be treating me after I hurt someone he sees as "his baby". 

"Why are you being so nice to me," I sniffle. "What I did shouldn't be forgiven."

"Everything can be forgiven if you do the right things to fix your mistakes," he says, rubbing my back in a strangely mother-like way. "Even if you have messed up horribly, you can still fix it."

"How?" I cry out. "Please just tell me how. Everyone says to 'fix it' but no fucking tells me how. How do I keep my job? How do I get my friends back? How do I get Jimin back?"

"I can't tell you those things- if I do that you'll never learn," he smiles. "But I can tell you one thing. Jimin still wants you. He's acting like he's fine but he's not."

"W-why are you telling me this?" I ask. "Shouldn't you want me as far away from him as possible like everyone else?"

"Jimin was the best I've ever seen him while you were together. He never used to smile so big that his eyes would shut. He never laughed or joked around or took care of himself. You are the reason he got better and you're also the reason why he's back to the way he used to be."

Back to the way he used to be...

And it's completely my fault.

"Should I talk to him? I don't think he would want me to," I ask unsure.

"He's been waiting," Jin says with a soft smile. "But don't come to my house. I'm sure you heard about Jungkook's condition and I think it would be best if he stays out of this."

I nod in understanding. "Is he doing better?"

"Jimin and Jungkook kinda bonded over the whole situation so he's a little better. I don't know how long that will last if you and Jimin get back together though," Jin replies honestly.

"I never meant to hurt him," I almost inaudibly.

"I know you didn't," he says. "I'm going to try to get him to see a therapist- his ways of thinking aren't healthy."

I nod. "That might be good for him."

"Alright well I gotta get back to the house. I've left 4 children and the god of destruction there alone."

"O-oh, ok," I reply, trying not to show how hurt I am by the fact that the whole group is hanging out without me.

"Things will be back to normal soon, ok," Jin says, pulling me into one last hug. "Just talk to him. And don't lie again."

But I didn't lie-

I truly do love him.

~V

So.. we broke up. It's actually been a week already. I'm honestly not hurt over it because we both knew it wasn't working out. I don't know his reasons (whether it was over me not being ready for sex or not) but either way it's for the better right? 

Anyways would you guys be interested in doing on of those author/character Q&A's? If I get at least 10 of you to answer yes then I'll do it :)

Love all you beautiful people :)