Broken || Ashton Irwin

Chapter 15

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I rummaged around in my bag searching for my house keys, my hands were shaking and steadying them was impossible which made everything so much harder, eventually I grasped the cold metal in my hand, pulling them out and unlocking the front door. I pulled on my hoodie, laced up my converse and headed out of the door.

It was freezing outside, goosebumps appearing on my skin, making me wrap my arms around my jacket to try and keep myself as warm as possible. I locked the front door, still struggling as my hands wouldn't stop shaking. I felt like I had no control over my own body. It was pitch black outside, only the dim light from the lamp posts crafting shadows on the pavement. I walked faster and faster, my heart beating quicker and quicker at every little sound. The Earth seemed so silent, which only made me jump even more at the meow of a cat or the rev of a car engine from far away in the distance.

I didn't take long to get to the park, and soon I was walking towards the figure sat over on the bench. My heart fluttered slightly at the sight of him from far away. He was sat with one arm laying on the back of the bench, one leg crossed over the other, he was looking up at the sky, the outline of his bandana easy to spot in his silhouette.

As I was approaching he turned, and caught me in his line of sight. He stood up jogging slightly forward towards me. He wrapped his arms around my trembling body, he gently placed his hand on the back of my head softly pressing on it so I was encouraged to rest my head on his shoulder. He rubbed my back on circles with his other hand.

And there in his arms, I broke down.

Neither of us said anything, he just held me. Every so often he would whisper 'shh' into my ear softly. But I didn't shh, I couldn't shh. The tears wouldn't stop pouring out, at first I was scared of getting mascara on his jumper, but it was black so I didn't really think it would matter.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ashton asked, pulling out of the hug but taking me by the hand and leading me over to the bench.

I nodded, unable to talk because my breathing was still shaky from crying so much.

He sat down, pulling me close next to him and wrapping one arm around me. He slowly rubbed my leg with his free hand, turning his body so we were facing each other.

"I never want to go back there again," I trembled, the image of my Dad's slap playing back in my mind, unable to let me forget it. I could picture his bright red face and angry eyes.

I almost shook my head to try and get the picture out of my head.

"You know you don't have to." He replied, taking my hands in his. "You don't have to go back if you don't want to."

"Well my Dad's left anyway." I stuttered, letting another tear trail down my cheek. Ashton leaned forward hesitatingly wiping the tear away gently with his thumb.

He left his hand on my cheek, his surprisingly warm hand heating up my cold face. Slowly he tucked a piece of hair that had fallen in front of my eyes behind my ear. "Everything is going to be okay," he breathed, resting his lips on my forehead, "I promise you." He murmured.

I nodded at him, wanting to believe what he was saying more than anything.

''I don't break promises.'' he said, his voice stern, I had no option but to believe him. ''Now stop crying, come on, it's going to be okay. I'm here.'' he reassured me, taking my body back in his arms and rocking me gently. 

''Can I ask you a question?'' I mumbled, pulling away from him, I bit my lip nervously.

''Sure,'' Ashton nodded, flipping his fringe away from his forehead. He leaned back on the bench.

''Why are you doing this?'' I said, my voice still shaking. 

''Doing what?'' he asked, a confused look highlighting his face, he raised one eyebrow, sitting back forward and leaning towards me. 

''Why, why do you care?'' I stuttered, wondering if it was the right thing to say. I needed to know though, the whole thing was weird. It had started with Ashton walking into me on the street and now he was really the only person I could turn to. I just wanted to know why I felt like he was the only one who could fix things when they were broken. 

He sighed, again reaching forward and taking my frozen hands in his. ''You Charlotte, are broken. You remind me of my myself a lot, destroyed by people that don't deserve you. I care because i'm broken too, and so far you've been the only person that has fixed me in anyway. I'm not meant to be this, messed up high school drop out, who's rude and treats people like shit, that's not me. The only person that has brought out the real me Charlotte, is you.''

He paused, looking up at the sky for a minute and then bringing his hazel eyes back down to Earth and fixing them on mine.

''And I can't help thinking that you're starting to fix me, and I want to fix you too. I want us to fix each other Charlotte.'' 

''That's why I care.'' He breathed, inhaling a sharp breath of air. It was almost as if he had finally said something he had been holding back for a long time, he looked relieved and suddenly the pain that always rested in his eyes vanished. 

''I'm sorry.'' I choked, not really knowing what to say. 

''Don't, say sorry.'' He smiled softly.

''Sorry.'' I mumbled, into his chest and he pulled me into his body, he wrapped his coat around my back, warming up my body instantly. 

''You know Charlotte, you're the only person in the world that I actually give a shit about.'' he half chuckled, ''Is that weird?''

''Ashton,'' I whispered, resting my head on his shoulder but turning my head so I could look into his eyes. ''Thank you,'' I smiled. 

He smiled back. But it was a smile that meant more then anything to me. I had never seen his eyes glow the way they did in that smile. It was just a smile but it said more than any words could ever even begin to mean.

He leaned down, his arm still firmly gripped around my back. Our chests were pressed together, our beating hearts in time with each other. He brought up his hand and cupped my face, gently brushing his thumb over the side of my face which gave me more goosebumps then I already had due to the bitter wind that was circling around us. I flicked my eyes down to his lips that his teeth were grazing over, another gentle smile appeared as he leaned in, slowly attaching one hand to the back of my head. 

My breath hitched as his cold lips connected to mine. He was gentle, as if I was delicate and could easily shatter from his touch. He wasn't needy or harsh. He was passionate and I felt every single emotion running through his body just from our lips colliding. I kissed back just as subtly as he did, trailing my arms inside of his coat and attaching them around his back. He smiled into my lips, and I pulled back slightly, looking up into his eyes. 

I could feel the way he cared for me, through the kiss and that's what made it special. 

''We're hopeless,'' he whispered into my neck, leaning back up and attaching his lips to mine again. 

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