Broken || Ashton Irwin

Chapter 18

-

"What time is it?" I moaned, squinting from the bright light seeping through my curtains.

"1:45" Michael replied, "I didn't want to wake you, you looked peaceful" he smiled, his cheeks rushing a pale pink shade.

"Have you not been bored just laying here?" I asked, rolling on to my side and propping my head up against my pillow so I could make eye contact with him.

"No, it turns out titanic isn't at all that bad," he giggled, pointing to the screen in front of us where the credits at the end of titanic were scrolling down.

"Michael," I laughed. "You should have just woke me," I sighed, realising how bored he must have been sat here whilst I slept.

I sat up, suddenly seeing my phone light up from the opposite side of the room. I jumped up out of bed, ignoring something that Michael had just mumbled and grabbed my phone, suddenly having uncomfortable flashbacks from last night.

"Shit," I muttered, scrolling through endless amounts of messages and missed calls from Ashton. "Michael, you're gunna have to go." I said, apologetically. "I'm really sorry,"

"Don't be sorry," he smiled jumping up out of bed and reaching for his jeans from the floor. I turned away, I'd seen Michael in his boxers tonnes of times, and I'd slept in the same bed as him like that last night, but right now it felt weird. "It was nice to stay with you, promise you'll ring me later?" He asked, pulling me into a hug.

I wrapped my arms around his leather jacket, the cold material rubbing against my bare arms, making me feel exposed.

"I will." I said, hugging him tighter as he gently rubbed my back in circular motions.

Suddenly I didn't want to let him go.

"Thank you for the pizza and films," I breathed, letting him go and taking a small step back.

"What did I say about you thanking me?," he chuckled, walking out of my bedroom door and heading downstairs.

"I'm sorry." I laughed, tears glazing my eyes a little.

"hey, hey, what's all this" he said, a concerned look taking over his face.

"I don't know." I giggled lightly. "You just mean so much to me, they're happy tears." I smiled.

"Gosh you are a dork," he smiled, shaking his head and laughing back. But it was a laugh that showed me that he understood. He understood everything, without me having to breathe a word to him. That's why he was my best friend. Because I didn't need to explain anything. Nothing at all. Michael just got it. He always knows.

"See you later, dork." He winked, heading out of the front door.

-

I fell asleep and I've only just woke up, sorry for not calling you back, I feel bad. Can I come meet you? x

My finger hovered over the send button, wondering if it was wise to see Ashton right now. I was completely confused. I mean who spends the night in a car on top of a hill with a boy they really like, and then ends up making out with the boy they've been best friends with all their life, the very next day. I don't know why I did it, and I still couldn't figure out how I felt about it.

I knew I wanted to be with Ashton, and I knew I couldn't be with Michael. But kissing Michael didn't feel weird, it gave me a different feeling to kissing Ashton, but it wasn't a bad different.

I took a deep breath and pressed send. I couldn't avoid Ashton and I may as well just tell him what happened, he already thinks I had something going on with Michael, so it shouldn't matter that, that was now kind of reality.

He won't care, I told myself. It was a mistake, a silly mistake, you were scared. I repeated over and over in my mind. "You just needed someone, you just wanted to be held. You just needed someone who cared.

All of a sudden my thoughts were broken, with a text from Ashton.

Hope you had a nice night with Michael ;) I'll be round in 10. A x

Shit. He already knows I thought, but how? The only person that knows that I kissed Michael and god knows what else, was Michael. And Michael wouldn't go round telling anyone, he doesn't kiss and tell. I know that from the time he kissed my cousin Layla at a Christmas party at my house, whilst she had a boyfriend..who was downstairs...
Michael wouldn't have told him, he must just be presuming. I convinced myself, suddenly feeling a lot calmer.

-

"Afternoon Miss Charlotte," Ashton giggled, walking into the kitchen. "Is Jackson around?" He asked.

"No, he's staying at my grandmas." I looked at him, questioning his question.

"So it's just us?"

"Yes..." I nodded, wondering where he was going with this.

"Good." He smiled. "So how was your night with lover boy?" He smirked, pulling off his flannel and throwing it over one of the car bar stools, leaving him stood there in a tight fighting grey t-shirt, with holes cut into it and little rips around the hem at the bottom. He had a grey bandana wrapped around his hair. He looked perfect. Irresistible. As usual.

"Lover Boy?" I questioned, knowing full well who he meant.

"Clifford." He nodded, helping himself to a few remaining crisps that Michael had left on the kitchen work you last night.

"Oh," I stuttered, feeling my face burning. "It was okay, I mean it was nice, you know to.. to see him and.. stuff you know." I stuttered, knowing I'd made mine and Michael's cosy night in sound shady as hell.

"Sounds fascinating, are you not going to ask how I know Michael was here?" he smirked.

"Ashton Irwin," I started. "How on earth do you know that Michael Clifford was at this very house last night?" I giggled back, as he reached his arms out and pulled me on to his knee.

"Ah that would be telling." He smirked again, "but if you let me kiss you, I might make an exception." He winked, resting his hand gently on my cheek.

The cool touch of his skin touching mine send shivers down my spine.,

"Go on then." I whispered softly, gently closing my eyes and leaning forward attaching our lips together, softly but knowingly.

And that's when I realised, everything felt right.

He pulled away slowly, keeping our foreheads pressed together but looking into my eyes.

"I think.." He stopped.

"What?" I whispered.

Tears glazed over his eyes, and suddenly he looked so broken but so happy and I didn't know what to think.

"I can't say it." he breathed, "it's silly, I'm being silly." He responded.

"You are silly." I giggle, but can't help the tears forming in my eyes too. I don't know why I was crying, but seeing Ashton cry made me cry. It was like a domino effect, he set me off.

"I'll... I'll tell you later." He stuttered, pressing his lips back against mine, cutting me off from saying another word.

I did want to know what he was going to say, but I was going to pressure him, besides it can't of been important or he wouldn't have stopped him self.

I let the butterflies in my stomach take over and wrapped my fingers in his hair. Forgetting about everything that was wrong in the world and just thinking about him.

-

Hannah xx