Fake Love | G.D

[twenty five]

I cried the whole drive home and now I'm sat in my car outside my apartment trying to calm down. I don't want to break up with Grayson, it's going to break his heart and he's going to hate me but I have to.

When I get into my apartment Grayson's playing music and humming along while cleaning up. He's in a really good mood, maybe this won't be as hard.

I take my jacket and shoes off at the door and hang my bag up before walking into the living room quietly, trying to delay it for as long as I can.

"You're home" he smiles, "I didn't even see you come in" he says before noticing I was crying, "what's wrong?" he asks concerned.

"We need to talk" I state bluntly sitting on the couch without looking at him.

He turns the music off quickly before joining me on the couch, he tries to hold my hand but I pull it away.

"I was thinking" I start but my voice cracks, "about everything that happened last night, and in the last 3 weeks" I gulp with a lump in my throat.

"I know how hard I've been to deal with but it's not going to happen anymore" he reminds me of what he promised last night.

"I think we should break up" I blurt as I burst into tears, "I can't do this anymore" I sob getting up off the couch.

"Chloe wait!" he stops me grabbing my hand and turning me around to him, "please don't do this" he looks at me hopelessly.

"I have to" I admit, "don't make this any harder than it has to be" I pull away from him.

"I-I don't understand" he shakes his head, "I know we fought but we were happy this morning, tell me what to do to make you change your mind"

"Nothing, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me but I'm just not able to be in this relationship anymore" I try to explain, "I love you Grayson, you really have to believe that"

"What the fuck is going on?" he asks getting annoyed, "do you actually think this is a joke? You're breaking up with me while telling me you love me" he snaps.

"Grayson please just try to understand, I don't want to hurt you-"

"You know you're hurting me!" he yells with tears in his eyes, "I told you I was afraid of opening up to people and making myself vulnerable because it gives them the chance to leave and hurt me and look what you're doing"

"Grayson it's not like that" I try to comfort him be he pushes me away from him.

"You're the only girl I've ever loved" he trails off, "I can't believe you Chloe, you promised-" his voice cracks, "you promised you'd be with me every step of the way through everything but look what you're doing, leaving as soon as things get tough"

"I'm so sorry" I don't know what else to say.

"Why are you doing this?" he asks, "is there someone else?"

Amanda.

"No of course not, you know I'd never do that!" I assure him but he just narrows his eyes at me as if he doesn't believe me, "I already explained why" I sigh.

"I told you I had never been in a committed relationship before, you knew I was only learning as things went along, I'm trying my best to be enough for you" he states.

Hearing that he doesn't even believe he's enough for me is breaking my heart.

"You are enough" I sniffle starting to calm down, "you've been an amazing boyfriend, it's just-"

"Don't give me that shit" he scoffs, "you can't tell me I'm amazing and the best you've ever had while fucking breaking up with me!" he yells.

"You are! But this relationship is mentally draining me, I know I said I'd be here every step of the way but it's too much, you're too much Grayson and it's draining me trying to keep up with you!" I shout with frustration.

"I'll change" he says, "I won't drink anymore, I won't smash things, I won't yell" he promises.

"Even if you do, there's still the contract" I remind him.

"What has that got to do with anything?" he throws his arms up in the air giving up.

"I just want you, but Amanda is always going to be there, telling us what to do" I try to explain, if only he knew.

"We just need to deal with it, don't do this Chloe, please" he begs, "I love you"

"I know, I love you too but this just isn't working" I mumble.

"So that's it?" he scoffs, "you're going to give up and throw this all away because we had one fight?" he looks so disappointed in me it's making this so much harder.

"I don't want to but I have to, it's just starting to feel toxic" I shrug.

"I know your ex fucked you up when it comes to relationships but this isn't toxic Chloe I promise, we love each other, we're in a healthy relationship and I'd do anything for you to prove that" he states, "I really can't lose you Clo"

"Can you just trust that I'm doing what's best for you?" I sigh.

"You're what's best for me!" he pulls at his hair getting extremely frustrated.

"Not right now" I disagree shaking my head.

"What does that even mean?" he snaps.

"Grayson, I think you should go" I mumble.

"So that's really it?" I can feel him staring at me but I keep my eyes focused on the floor, "fuck you Chloe" he mutters before storming out.

I had calmed down but once he's gone I break down into tears again. I can't believe I just had to do that. I just broke his heart, he hates me.

I don't know how long I'm sitting on the floor before I pull myself up and drag myself down to Mrs. Smiths. I want my dog, I don't want to be in my apartment completely alone. As soon as I knock I can hear Marley running towards the door barking.

"Oh darling" Mrs. Smith gasps when she opens the door to me crying, "what happened?" she asks embracing me in a hug.

"I-I'm sorry for showing up like this" I apologise as she brings me into her apartment.

"Oh of course not dear, sit down, I'll put the kettle on" she brings me into her living room before running into the kitchen.

Marley jumps all over me, as Mrs. Smith comes back with two cups of tea.

"Thank you" I smile taking the warm cup into my hands before she also hands me a box of tissues.

"Are you alright darling?" she asks me concerned.

"I broke up with Grayson" I sob, bursting into tears again. I feel so bad coming over to her apartment like this, I'm an emotional mess but she's literally my best friend here in LA.

note;
i have a week off school, so i'll be posting as many updates as i can. the song i added is what i wrote the chapter listening to, if you wanted to listen to it. this book is getting so much love, i can't believe it, thanks so much for reading, voting and commenting!