Fake Love | G.D

[thirty seven]

"Miss Bolton if you're ready to follow me, I'm going to take you for an ultrasound to make sure everything's okay with the baby" the nurse smiles coming back into the room.

"This is it" I whisper to Grayson, "we're going to see our baby" I grin as we're walking behind the nurse.

"I can't believe I'm going to be a dad" he mumbles to himself, "we're having a baby!" he reminds me excitedly.

"I know" I laugh holding my stomach as the nurse brings us into a new room. I lie back on the bed and Grayson takes a seat next to me.

"This will feel a little bit cold" the nurse says as she applies gel to my bare stomach, "now let's find your little bundle of joy" she smiles.

My eyes are glued to the screen while she moves some sort of scanner around my stomach. I don't know what I'm looking for but I don't want to miss a thing.

She takes the scanner away from my stomach and stays silent while she presses a few buttons on the screen. I get a bad feeling about it all and I think Grayson does too as he takes my hand in his.

"Is everything okay?" I ask concerned.

"I'm just going to get a doctor to take a look at your scan" she says turning the screen away from us before leaving the room.

"That's not good" I shake my head with tears in my eyes, "what if something's wrong" I start to panic.

"I'm sure everything's okay" he tries to assure me but he doesn't sound very confident.

"Hello Miss Bolton, I'm doctor Alex Reed" a woman introduces herself as she comes into the room, "I'm going to try another ultrasound, is that alright with you?" she asks and I nod while biting my nails nervously.

She applies the gel as the nurse did and moves the scanner around my stomach. My eyes aren't watching the screen this time, they're watching the doctor, who's starting to look concerned.

"Is something wrong?" Grayson asks as she finishes the ultrasound.

"Yes, I'm afraid I have some bad news" she admits and my heart sinks, "I'm very sorry Miss Bolton but it looks like you're experiencing an ectopic pregnancy"

"What does that mean?" I ask confused.

"The foetus has developed outside of your uterus, in a fallopian tube and that's what's causing all of the pain" she explains, "the foetus developing here can cause a rupture in your fallopian tube, and internal bleeding"

"How do we fix it?" Grayson asks.

"We need to terminate the pregnancy" she states.

"You can't" my voice cracks.

"I'm so sorry Miss Bolton but there's nothing else we can do, it is impossible to carry out this pregnancy, it's something that can unfortunately never be predicted or prevented" she says sounding genuinely sorry, "it's a simple procedure, but we need to get started as soon as possible"

"We can start now" I gulp with a lump in my throat.

"I'll have a nurse in now to prepare you for your operation" she tells us before leaving the room.

Grayson and I sit in silence, both lost in our own thoughts. I'm absolutely heart broken but a part of me feels like I have no right to be.

I only found out 30 minutes ago that I was pregnant, but in those 30 minutes I fell in love and became so attached to my little baby. I was so excited to be a mom and I think the feeling was mutual for Grayson. This might have been a surprise to both of us but we were ready to love this baby and support them for the rest of our life's.

"Chloe" Grayson whispers, "are you okay?" he asks hesitantly.

"No" I admit looking at the floor, "are you?"

"I don't know" he mumbles, "I thought I was going to be a dad" he trails off before looking up at me with tears in his eyes, "I was just so excited"

"Me too" I agree with tears now rolling down my cheeks, "my body is made for carrying a baby and I couldn't even get that right, this is my fault, I'm so sorry"

"You heard what the doctor said, this could have never been predicted or prevented" he reminds me, "unfortunately we were just unlucky" he sighs.

"Why our baby?" I cry as he pulls me into a hug and tries to comfort me, "why did we have to lose our baby?" he holds me tightly as I cry into his shoulder.

"Do you remember what you said to me the day of Frankie's funeral?" he mumbles and continues when I remain silent, "you told me, blessings are given and taken so that we learn to appreciate them" he says while rubbing my back soothingly.

"We didn't get our blessing" I remind him.

"I don't have all the answers Clo, maybe one day we'll understand all of this but right now we're just going to have to deal with the pain" he tries to make sense of the situation and I really appreciate it.

It doesn't take any of the pain away but I can't deny the fact that he's putting a lot of effort into keeping me calm.

The nurse comes back into the room to explain how everything's going to go during the operation. I barely pay any attention to what she's saying and before I know it, it's time to be sedated.

"I'm not going anywhere" Grayson tells me, "I'll be here as soon as you wake up" he assures me before kissing my forehead.

- after the operation

"Hey" Grayson whispers as I start to wake up, "how are you feeling?" he asks while tucking a strand of stray hair behind my ear.

"Fucking shit" I mutter groggily before placing a hand on my stomach, "would you believe me if I told you I feel like somethings missing?" I scoff.

"Yeah, I felt it as soon as they brought you back from your operation" he admits, "we should've been leaving the hospital with scans of our baby" he mumbles.

"It almost doesn't feel real" I sigh, "I just want to go home and forget any of this ever happened"

"The doctor says you need to stay tonight for observation, but you should be able to come home tomorrow" he informs me.

"Can you book me a flight to New York for tomorrow night please?" I groan as I try to sit up, the pain in my stomach is still there.

"Why are you going to New York?" he asks confused.

"To stay with my dad's until I find somewhere new to live" I shrug, I thought it was pretty obvious.

"Somewhere new?" he narrows his eyes at me, "what about our home?"

"Exes don't usually live together" I remind him, "I know I'll still have to attend events and appearances with the contract but there's really no reason for us to be living together" I explain.

"You're still-"

"The baby didn't change anything" I interrupt him, "even if it had been a healthy pregnancy, it doesn't mean I was willing to forget you ever cheated and play happy families. It's the 21st century Gray, co-parenting does exist"

"I just thought we could have-"

"I'm sorry" I cut him off again so that I don't have to break up with him for a third time, "everything I said before we found out about the pregnancy still very much stands, we're finished"

note;
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