Unoriginality 1: An Original Trainer Story

A Strict Rewrite of Pokemon BW's Opening

A writing exercise/challenge I was issued by somebody. Sticking it here because I think it illustrates some things nicely.

"Don't rewrite the opening of the game!" is common advice. People sometimes argue, because people always argue about if anything is a definite absolute in writing. And they're kind of right - the problem with rewriting a familiar scene isn't that rewriting is wrong, it's that people stick to what everyone already knows, and what we already know isn't interesting to hear for the hundredth time. Something fanfic excels at, however, is using what we already know as a springboard for an addition or twist on it. (If someone's telling you to stop rewriting the opening of the game, you can be pretty sure you failed to do that.)

Here, I've kept even the awful exact canon dialogue of the scene. As in BW, the events play out with almost no apparent input by the player. Why is that? I asked myself. What sort of character might fade out of a scene while their friends chatter? Could there be any interesting reason for it? How much characterization could I fit into a scene that, on the surface, was barely about the character at all?

(It's also an exercise in how many ways the same trait can be shown. If one or two things stand out, look at the rest in the same light. And how different is this character from others, really?)

-

"Yuki! I heard from Professor Juniper. We can have a pokemon?" There's Cheren, right on time.

"Yup," Yuki says, gesturing at the wrapped box. She could've opened it early and gotten first pick, but she's going to get that anyway and this way, Cheren won't think anything of it. Why would he? He doesn't even think to wonder why Professor Juniper is giving them pokemon. Cheren never really thinks about Yuki's role in things.

He hurries to her side, his eyes fixed on the box. "What's keeping Bianca?" he grumbles.

It's the little things that tell Yuki that Cheren will never be a real contender. He can't even handle a friend he's known since infancy but he really, truly believes he'll have better luck handling pokemon. And it won't occur to him that opening the box without Bianca is an option. It's one of the things Yuki likes about him.

Yuki is fine waiting a little longer, so she's not going to point it out. Bianca is always late and unlike Cheren, Yuki knows to factor that in. She can hear Bianca sprinting across the floor downstairs now, infuriatingly late to Cheren and right on time as far as Yuki's concerned.

Bianca's apologizing before she even clears the stairs, just like always, only to get chided more by Cheren for doing so, just as always. Yuki tunes the whole thing out.

"So, where are the pokemon?" Bianca asks, adding, "They were delivered to Yuki's house, so Yuki gets first pick."

Cheren is bossy and Bianca, as a doormat, is the one he spends most of his time bossing around. She gets back at him by preemptively supporting Yuki, who doesn't need to boss her around because Cheren is there doing it for her.

"Naturally," Cheren says.

Naturally, Yuki thinks. There were other ways three kids could decide who gets the first pokemon, but there's no other way it would go between the three of them. If there'd been any doubt in her mind, she'd have opened the box as soon as Professor Juniper handed it to her.

Cheren is fidgeting with excitement. "Okay, Yuki, you go first and take a peek at the gift box. I want to meet the pokemon right now!"

"Sure," Yuki says, the picture of graciousness.

She could say it's for the best she gets the first pick. It's be a waste for a pokemon full of potential to end up saddled with a trainer who isn't willing to work just as hard at fulfilling it, and Yuki will say something very similar to trainers she meets later, because it's a good argument to make, the kind that can convince people to trade you what you want if you say it with conviction. But Yuki never bothers with lying to herself, so there's no need for justification here.