Unoriginality 1: An Original Trainer Story

HOW TO GIVE YOUR STUPID BRAT TRAINER AN EEVEE

Farla's fun and informative guide to not breaking canon for your damn sue

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Three children followed the professor into the lab. The first was a dark brown haired boy wearing black, somewhat worn clothing and a determined expression. Cheap metal chains looped through his cargo pants and his shirt had a slightly faded flame design. Behind him followed a dirty blonde girl wearing a white shirt trimmed with pink and equally white shorts who kept looking about at the lab curiously. The soles of her brand new shoes kept squeaking on the floor. And trailing behind them came a platinum blonde girl wearing a custom-tailored outfit made of pure mareep wool and several gold bracelets, as well as an opal necklace and sapphire earrings.

"Now," said the professor, "It's time to chose your first pokemon."

"Oh," said the platinum blonde, "Daddy already bought me mine. Isn't she just the cutest?" The girl pulled a gold-plated pokeball from her pocket and pressed the center button, releasing a pure white eevee that sparkled on appearance, and then continued to sparkle due to the large diamond-encrusted gold collar around her neck.

The two children stared for a second.

"I hate you so much," said the other girl.

"I'm going to beat you up as soon as you're out of the professor's sight," promised the boy, cracking his knuckles.

"Please don't hold back on my account," said the professor.

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"Welcome, children," said the professor as the seven ten year olds entered. "As you may know, after several years of people arguing over starters, we've decided to simply distribute eevee. This way, everyone gets the same pokemon rather than fighting over charmander. As they can evolve into any one of seven pokemon, they allow for greater element choice anyway, and because of the delay, you have more time to consider your team's composition and which pokemon would best suit you, rather than having to make that choice first."

One of the boys raised his hand. "But Professor, I don't want an espeon or umbreon, and it'll be a while before I can buy a stone!"

The professor gave him an appraising look. "I'm sure you'll have ample time before that becomes a problem."

"But-!"

"Ample," said the professor firmly.

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"Lookit!" squealed the pink-haired girl, shoving a premierball into her friend's face. "I got one I got one I got one!"

"Got a...?"

"Eevee!"

"What? Jen, those things are incredibly expensive, how did you-?"

"There was a sale on eevee – this breeding center had too many males people weren't buying – and I had just enough money to buy one!"

"You used up all your money? Which you need for pokeballs? And food?"

Jen sighed. "I know, but I've always really wanted one, and this is the cheapest I've ever seen the price go. I'd rather eat peanut butter for a month and not be able to catch any wild pokemon but have an eevee. I'll just have to be really careful with money for a while. It's worth it to me to have one."