Unoriginality 1: An Original Trainer Story

Proactive Retaliation

Since the authors already know the main character is the good one, sometimes they forget to put in even the flimsiest of justifications.

By a Farla who wishes this could go without saying. Because seriously, what is wrong with you people?

Jeka Bluesummers jumped out of bed and ran downstairs.

"Hello dear," her mother said, turning towards her daughter. "Oh, um, Jeka, wait a second!"

"Shut up, moron!" yelled Jeka. "I'm not going to let you stop me from becoming a pokemon trainer just because you're an evil person who hates them!" She kicked her mother and ran out the door.

"But you're still in your pajamas!" her mother called.

Unfortunately, Jeka's hands were over her ears. "Lalala I'm not listening!" she shouted back. God, her mother was such a jerk. Last week she'd grounded Jeka for failing all her classes, beating up the other kids at school and then trying to sacrifice her little brother to this cool elder god she read about in a book for kicks. What an oppressive tyrant!

When she got to the lab, she saw that the professor's nephew was waiting there. He was also going to get his first pokemon.

"Oh, hello," he said. "You must be Jeka. Wow, you're really pretty."

"What? The professor's letting a pokemon abusing snot like you get one of the innocent little starting pokemon?" Jeka demanded.

"Um – I – What are you talking about?"

"And a liar too," she added. The door opened and she entered haughtily.

"Professor!" she said before he could speak, pointing accusingly at his nephew. "I can't believe you were going to let this obnoxious little brat get a pokemon! He's a pokemon abuser! Plus he's mean to me!"

"What?" said Professor Hickory. He turned to his nephew. "What did you do?" he demanded. "What happened?"

"But I didn't do anything!" he protested. "I just said hello! I didn't do anything and there weren't even any pokemon around and I never met her before!"

"Then Jeka, what happened?"

"Well, when I got here, I saw this total loser there, and I just knew he'd be my rival, you know? And rivals are always pokemon-abusing jerks. And then he had the gall to complement me. So he's GOT to be evil, it's just obvious."

"Um...okay," said Professor Hickory slowly.

"I demand you give all the starting pokemon to me so he can't have one! And never give out any more because I'm better than everyone else, so I'm the only one who should be allowed to keep pokemon."

"I'll, um, just a second, okay? You two just sit down and wait a moment." Professor Hickory backed away into the next room. He dialed a number on the phone. "Hello? Mrs. Bluesummers? Yes, your daughter got here safely, although she seems to be in her pajamas...okay, excited, I can understand that. Er, could you tell me anything about your daughter's personality?...Sweet and gentle, I see." Hickory leaned over to glance into the other room, watching as Jeka attempted to punch his nephew, who dodged. Jeka overbalanced and fell. "She's not, um, bipolar or something by any – no, I'm sorry, it's just that my nephew is trying to help her up after she fell and she's just bitten his hand, is this norm – no, he did not push her over!" Hickory sighed. "I'm sorry for bothering you, ma'am," he said, hanging up the phone. He dialed a new number. "Hello, Officer Jenny?"