The Pain I'm In || Peter parker || [Completed]✔

[6]

~ ○ ~

Peter's Pov

WHERE THE HELL ARE WE EVEN
Going? I've gotta figure out how to channel my inner demons, but I just...Don't know how. It's not like anyone cares. Maybe I should just.....kill myself.

My head started to throb. I had managed to swing high enough to land on the side of a skyscraper.
I crawled up the windows.

There i was perched on the side, staring into the dark sky. The stars seemed truly beautiful, and i grew slightly envious of them.
Stars don't have to worry, about returning home...or keeping secrets. All they have to do is light up the sky, and guide the way.

I felt a sting in my chest, the tears just kept flowing. I wanted to take off my mask, but at the same time I didn't.

I found myself laying back, gazing up at them tentatively- I didn't wanna stay here for to long. I was so exhausted, physically and emotionally- that I almost felt Like I could just topple over.

Before I could let my thoughts wander any farther, I found myself bitterly, drifting into a deep, Dark sleep.

The warm summer breeze was crisp, and clean. I remember the way my happiness bubbled around my chest, as I layed back on the roof, looking over the beautiful fluffy clouds, almost as though they were parts of me- parts of me that seemed to drift away before I had the chance to understand them.

Happiness. What was happiness??
The feeling you get when you save someone? The feeling you get when you're with someone you love??

Sadness. What was it's purpose?
To stress over the mind numbing bile that forms in you're throat when you're so worked up, that you want to slaughter something??

Or that shameful desire, to end you're own meaningless, and tragic life??

The feeling you get when you're so lost and alone, that you want to Bleed to death? Or at the very least just...somehow...vanish.. ?

"Peter, what are you doing up there?? I come down, I wanna show something!"

I robotically gnaw on the tip of my thumb, before jolting forward, "I'll be down in a minute." I Called out, furrowing my brows in confusion.

Was this....a memory??

I climb to the ground. As soon as my feet hit the grass, I feel like my arm is abruptly torn from its socket- Aunt may's grip can be deadly sometimes. But of course, me being the mutant child I am, sort of grew out of that extra umph, she'd throw into Each hug, or the occasional ear pinching.

I couldn't help the anxious feeling that settled in my veins. I could see Michael peering out through the window; a cigarette pinched between his fingers.

She nudges me, concern etched in her features, "You okay pete??"

Pete. There's that word again. I've heard it so much, and the ones i hold in my heart seem to call me that often- despite it's strangeness I still enjoyed it.

"Uhh, nothing. What is it you wanted to show me??"

"The strawberries Bloomed! Your uncle been and I used to Take you To pick them when you were just a toddler, it was so adorable- you'd use your little iron man Mask." I found myself blushing, with a huff I bitterly look away.

"May...I'm not a little kid anymore."
She pouted, "Aww, but you know you'll always be My little nephew." She teases, pulling me into a hug.

The smell, it was so surreal. But how??

"Now come on, let's pick them together. You've been up there all day, Take a break from those books, and start living your life!"

With a sigh, I calmly oblige. It was worth it to make her happy. That's all I ever really wanted....

For the people around me to be happy.
God, I missed her so much. I wished so badly this could be real. But how??

The more I Realised it was just a dream, the harder it got to see her. to hear her. to speak to her.

She glances at me, bloody tears streaming from her cheeks.

"You did this to me."

I jolt forward, Damn near having a panic attack, trying to catch my staggering breathes yet again. My crackling voice hitched in my lungs before spilling into earshot.

"Peter, your heartbeat has accelerated, it appears you're having a panic attack. Would you like for me to contact someone??"

"N-No!! I'm fine-"

"You do not sound fine, the symptoms you seem to be having are most likely leading to something that is logically far from fine-"

"I SAID I WAS FINE!!!!"

I just wanted to forget the pain.
We're pathetic...and worthless.
Jump peter.....Jump peter.....
Jump peter......Jump peter....JUMP

The voices in my head just kept whispering, in excitement. My adrenaline spiked, at first I really was but then, I changed my mind and pointed my left webshooter at the nearest building and just decided to head back.

When I slipped through the window silence Swollowed my hearing, I felt like I could finally calm down.
So I curled into the bed and closed my eyes, letting sleep embrace me with a calm nurturing blackness.

~ Time Skip ~

It felt like my eyes were closed for barely even five minutes before I slowly forced them open.
The exhaustion made me feel so horrible. On top of that, the bruises made everything hurt. I had no doubt that today was gonna be a long and sucky.

Michael was clearly still asleep so I slowly, and quietly threw on some clothes and grabbed my bag.
I then pulled my phone off the charger and grabbed my earbuds, and tip toed down the hallway and out the door.

I was engulfed in a sea of lyrics. The rythmic tone would send vibrations through my head, calming me.

Immidiately after I haulted at the stop light. I'd braced myself before Speedwalking as I stared into the concrete spacing out.
Wouldn't it be amazing if a car just ran us over?
I quickly shook my head of my thoughts.

Although my body hurt, I still felt welcomed by ned when I heard intense gasping from behind me.
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Authors note: sorry i haven't been updating regularly!! I've been busy! Love you guys!
See you next chapter!!
-krazyghostwriter