The Pain I'm In || Peter parker || [Completed]✔

[16]

⚠ Trigger Warning: ⚠
self-mutilation, severe injuries, graphic content, and extreme imagery, Viewer discretion is advised.
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Recap: I knew the video,
was meant to be Something sweet and not sad, but I couldn't help but cry, watching them.
He just seemed so carefree, and happy.

I decided then and there I was going to do whatever it takes to find Peter and show him real happiness. My kid only deserves that much.

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~ ○ ~

Peter's Pov

I STARE INTO THE DAMP,
Foggy, bathroom mirror, studying over my pale, features. The deep bruises seemed to have vanished, but gashes still marred the edge of my jawline; blood stained pieces of my hair.

My curls, stuck to my skin due to the hot sticky sweat pouring from my body. I couldn't cry, literally. But if I could at this point I would. To be honest, I think I've just cried so much that I've probably dried my eyes out.

I'm trying, God knows I'm trying, but I can't feel a damn thing. You wanna know how it feels? Well, it's like when you go under water, and you close your eyes. Everything in the world suddenly ceases to exist somehow. The only thing you hear is the beating of your heart and the thoughts on your mind, and if you don't reach the surface, you start to feel your lungs craving for oxygen, burning because you can't breathe.

That's how I feel about everything lately. I can only hear the echoes of the voices in my mind, and sometimes it's hard to breathe, but the rest of the world doesn't matter anymore.

Nothing matters right now for me.
I just feel the beating of my heart; nothing less, nothing more.

After taking a few moments to let my thoughts consume me, something Twinkles against the dimly lit bathroom light.
I reach my hand out, and brush the tip of the object dancing in my peripheral vision.

I found my fingers coil around a small thin razor, with at least 4 blades To be exact. My blood ran cold, and for some odd reason my body took the bait as a trigger and I immediately pulled it into view.

I clenched onto the razor, staring down in slight awe. The last time I was left alone in a bathroom I tried to kill myself. What makes now so different?

'That's exactly the point Peter.
There is nothing different.
Ending it all would put us out of our misery.' An oddly familiar whispers into my mind.

My brain stutters for a moment and my eyes take in more light than I expected, every part of me goes on pause while my thoughts catch up.

'Just a few cuts, won't make a difference. Let's just do it'

I shook my head, and prepared myself for a defensive reply
until I let my mind sink into the decision with more clarity.

I tore the top of the razor back, forgetful of my enhanced strength. The tip opped off faster than a speeding bullet.

The piece, bounced off the mirror then off the wall and into the toilet.
I shrugged the sound off, as I pulled the blades from the center.

I throw away any excess plastic with a huff and place each blade on the counter in front of me.

I took one of the blades and stared down at my left arm. It's only slightly healed so so desided to go for my stomach instead.

I brought the blade up to my stomach, and pulled it across my skin slashing it instantly. I bit my lip so hard, a metallic flavour lingered around my Tastebuds.