The Pain I'm In || Peter parker || [Completed]✔

[7]

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Peter's Pov

I PATROLLED THE CITY
without further Hesitation. I slung myself from building to building, and occasionally Would spider crawl up the taller ones.

It was strange to find relief in such simple things like this. In a way I guessed patrolling was a way I could exercise my thoughts. But the more I go into it, the more I trigger myself.

And triggering myself, isn't the smartest thing to do when you're so high up In the air.

Eventually I found myself at the Peek of a large water tower, near Some sort of bridge.

The air was frigged and quite loomy. It wasn't so cold that I could see my breath, but it was cold enough for my fingers to sting, when I gently brushed them against the metal.

I sigh and Stare at the long Dark road, contemplating my life. I wondered what I could make of myself one day-- if I'd even be qualified to save other people all the time-- when I can't even save myself.

I knew I was already in trouble, so heading back wasn't what I was so anxious about.

It's never the physical pain. Or at least, it's not always about the physical pain. I'm used to that sort of thing.

I was just worried about the aftermath. I was worried what games my brain would trick me with. I wondered how long I'll go without making a fool out of myself again.

There was already so much I was stressed out about. This life was turning me into an emotionless Jerk. And I've never hated myself more than I did now. at this rate, I was probably going to be dead soon.

Then I got to thinking.

What would it be like?? To be dead.

Would everyone figure out my secret? Or will it die with me??

I close my eyes. Imagining the afterlife, it was like Tasting freedom for the first time.

The weight of the world seemed to drift away, as I ran Through endless fields of flowers with my mother. The thought of aunt may greeting me with a warm hug. I longed for it bitterly.

I know you're supposed to let go of people when they die. But her death; it still just doesn't seem real.

When most kids my age lose their aunt, or a grandparent- I guess you could say there's always going to be some kind of hole in their heart.

But may, she was special.

She was my friend.

My family.

My aunt.

A parental future.....

A sister.

She was more than just my aunt. She was a piece of me. She made me; me.
Until Michael came along, and shattered everything.

I craved death, I craved it like a chainsmoker- I had almost nothing left to lose, but my friends, and Mr. Stark.

If they left my side, I guess I wouldn't be suprised. It'd just hurt, you know? Being trapped in a world- always surrounded by people yet, somehow managing to feel alone.

I wanted to see the clear blue sky, not the smoggy Pollution thats robbed queens of its natural beauty. I wanted to work in the garden with aunt may again, and play legos in my bedroom with ned.

I wanted to worry about school, to worry about things normal kids worried about.

I wanted a normal life.
But even if someone could just magically answer my prayers, I still feel like I wouldn't belong in this world

"Peter??"

Her voice. It's faint. I can almost hear it. It's always been smooth and reassuring. Like silk, and honey combined.

"Peter?? Where are you???"

The memories of her voice were torture. Everywhere I turned, it was like I could see her glancing back at me with the biggest smile.

The way she'd laugh at uncle Ben's crumby dad jokes. That laughter imprinted my thoughts.

The conversations I'd have with Mr. Stark, those Imprinted my thoughts.

The feeling I'm get when spending time around the ones I loved- only to have it torn from my hands. Those feelings imprinted my thoughts.

Each imprint, they just kept piling up. I felt like I couldn't breath. The tears bursted from my eyes before I even had the chance to rub them away- or scrunch my eyes closed.

Why dwell so much on the past? Maybe I was cursed. Doomed, to think endlessly of my past- to think about how worthless my existence truly was, if I couldn't even save my family.

The truth was, I was trapped in the past. Michael's claws had woven Tragically deep.

But it didn't hurt to just think. To let the good memories resurface. The ones where aunt may was smiling, and laughing- and the ones where uncle Ben would crack horrendus Dad jokes.

The ones where Mr- Stark and I worked together, and I was silent the whole time, mainly because I was scared if I spoke I'd ruin everything- and then he'd elbow me, and tell me not to be so boring, and that a kid my age should be more talkative.

The ones where ned was at my side, somehow managing to distract me from this, unbridled Pain, churning in the void in my body.

Memories were both important to me, and Quite annoying.

But I'd never willingly abandon them. At least, not anytime soon.

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Authors note: yeah ik this is an Extremely short chapter!!! But this is gonna have to happen since I'm publishing 2 chapters of this At once....
Love you guys see you next chapter!
-krazyghostwriter