Tied by fate ~ Ereri / Riren {Omegaverse}

28. I've lost my Innocence.

innocence
/ˈɪnəsəns/
noun
1. the state, quality, or fact of being innocent of a crime or offence.
2. lack of guile or corruption; purity

Eren;

He can't see me like this! This isn't real. It can't be him.

"Y-You're not real."

The figure came closer to me, the fear evident in their eyes. It can't be Levi. There's no way he could be here.

"Eren, it's me. I promise you, I'm here."

The closer he got, the more tight my throat became. I wanted to drain every ounce of blood from someone's jugular and feel the warm blood in my mouth. I wanted to tear someone apart and ravish in the feeling of killing someone.

Wait.

What am I even saying?

"D-dont come near me, Levi. Please. I'm a monster."

I stood in front of the mirror still, studying the unfamiliar features I now had. I watched myself in the mirror as my cheeks became damp, only then realising the tears that dripped from my eyes. I couldn't let the one person I love see me like this. Weak and vulnerable. A monster. Not human.

"Baby, you're not a monster. You're beautiful, nothing can ever change my mind. You mean the world to me, and it pains me to see you hurting like this. Eren, look at me, please."

"I-I can't. I'll hurt you."

"What did he do to you, Eren?"

"H-he didn't do anything. I-I've always b-been like this."

I wanted to run. Run far away, and never look back. Never return to life that was written out for me the day I was born. I've been fated to live this life over and over again until whatever I was made to do has been done. I can't escape the pain, the hurt I feel. I'm trapped, never allowed to leave the life that awaits me.

What happened to my innocence? My purity? I'm supposed to be the angel hound. Not this blood thirsty monster who wants to revel in murder!

"What do you mean, Eren?"

I can't form a normal sentence without stuttering, without thinking about how he made me a monster. I don't want Levi to see me like this, I want him to be happy. I want us to be happy. But we're fated the complete opposite. There is no happy ending for us.

"Eren? Talk to me, please."

"Y-You've missed a lot, Levi."

"You can explain later. Please, just look at me."

"N-no. I-I don't want you to see m-me like this."

He edged even closer to me, holding out his hands, welcoming me into a hug.

The thirst. The closer he got, the stronger it became.

"Levi. Don't come any closer."

"Just let me hug you, please."

He still walked closer.

Something inside of me snapped.

Levi;

I walked closer to Eren, until I saw it.

It was like someone had flicked a switch, and he just lost it. His eyes flashed fully back for a moment, before returning to their red, but glowing brighter, but somehow darker, than usual. His nose scrunched as he bore his teeth.

He turned sharply, meeting my gaze with his eyes.

"I said, don't come any closer!"

If his intention was to scare me, it wasn't working. I'm the demon hound, of course it's not going to scare me.

"Eren! Stop it. You're not scaring me."

I spoke sternly to make it clear to Eren who was in charge, and certainly who was the alpha out of us two. He obviously didn't understand, as he continued to threaten and somehow, growl, at me.

"You should be scared of me. You think your little title as demon hound makes you strong? Oh please, vampires could wipe out all the human race before you could kill anyone!"

"Eren, what are you talking about? This isn't you. Please, just calm down so we can talk."

"This isn't me? Ha, you're funny. I'm finally embracing who I'm supposed to be. The Eren you knew, who was all innocent and caring, is gone."

"Stop it, Eren."

There was no other way to get through to him, so I had to do it. I used my alpha voice to snap him out of whatever trance he was in. It worked, because he let out a squeal and backed into a corner.

His eyes returned to their turquoise colour and his fangs disappeared. His skin was still pale, though.

"Omega sorry, alpha."

He brought his knees up to his chest, confining himself to even less space. This wasn't how I expected seeing Eren again to be like.

"Shhh, it's okay. Alpha forgives you. Can I come closer?"

He nodded his head slightly, not looking up from his arms wrapped around his knees. I just wanted to bring him back to our realm and show him how much I love him and how much I've missed him. But I couldn't, because there's no way for us to ever open a portal.

I knelt down beside Eren, but hesitated to touch him. The last time I touched him was when I was holding his dead body in my arms. It felt like everything I've ever loved, just seems to be destroyed. I didn't want to touch to him, because he'd been through so much. It's been so long, he's probably forgotten what my touch feels like, because I've definitely forgotten what his feels like.

He lifted his head up and our eyes met. I could see the pain and distress deep within his eyes, but even deeper was some type of guilt and...regret? It hurt, seeing him like this. It was better than seeing him dead, but it still hurt.

Without removing his gaze from my eyes, he spoke softly.

"I-I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For leaving you."

Those words were enough to push down the guilt on my chest even harder than before. Leaving me? He fucking died. Does he really blame himself for all of this?

He bowed his head down again, like he was ashamed of everything he'd done.

"Eren, we all thought you died. You didn't leave me, I promise,"
I placed a finger under his chin and lifted his face up so he was looking into my eyes "whether you left me or not, I still love you all the same."

He smiled slightly, completely aware of the tears that streamed down his face, meeting at his chin where my finger was. I moved my hands so I was cupping his cheeks, wiping his tears with my thumbs.

We sat for a while, just us and the quiet. Eren cuddled into me, and I had my chin resting on his head. I could feel how skinny he was, as my hand was around his waist. He clearly hasn't been fed, because you can feel his ribs if you touched the side of his stomach, and they can clearly be seen.

"L-Levi?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think I'm a monster?"

"No. I think you're a beautiful omegan angel hound who's been tortured and manipulated to become something you don't want to be. Whatever you are, Eren, you're still beautiful, and I still love you for who you are, not what other people have made you."