TW: Suicidal thoughts/attempt, mentions of self harm
:')
Rewrite
John
I had lost all hope. I no longer had a will to live. The pain could be gone forever. It was just those few pills away, I thought to myself as I ran down the stairs and outside to my apartment.
Alex
John had just rushed out of my apartment. We had gotten into another argument. I had called him things that I would never repeat. I knew how he reacted to these types of things, and I can't believe myself for ever uttering such foul words to the love of my life. That's when I realized. His depression
I sprinted as fast as I could to get to his apartment (which he now used as an art studio as he usually stayed in my apartment) in the complex across the street. How could I be so stupid? I thought to myself. His depression has been getting to him recently. Was that his final straw? I've noticed what looked like some seemingly fresher scars on his arms. Well, both of us have them...but could he be...
Just the thought of that made me run even faster. After what felt like an eternity, I finally reached his door. "John!" I yelled while trying to open the door. Locked. Of course. I rummaged through my pockets to find the key. Each second I wasted, the closer he could be to death. I finally found the key and nearly kicked the door down once it was unlocked. I checked every room in the house while screaming his name. I stopped at the bathroom door and heard sobbing coming from inside.
"John? John, dearest, please open the door. I love you... please open up."
"Go away!" His voice sounded broken from the other side. "You don't care anyway..."
Just hearing him say that made my heart shatter into millions of pieces. "John, I love you so much. I didn't mean a single word I said in that argument earlier. John open the door please!"
John
He was practically begging from the other side of the door. He sounded so helpless. There was still a voice in my head telling me that he didn't love me and he meant every word in that argument.
Worthless.
Hopeless.
Helpless.
Needy.
Broken.
These words kept repeating themselves over and over again. I opened the cabinet, finding my razor and unscrewed a pill bottle. I took one in my hand. Another. Another. Another. This went on until half of the bottle was emptied into my hand.
"John! Please!" He said, his voice cracking on the other side.
I put one pill in my mouth and swallowed it with some water from the sink. I heard the doorknob rattling, meaning he was trying to pick the lock. I took another pill. Just as I was about to take a few more pills at once, the door swung open. There stood Alexander, petrified.
Alex
As soon as I got the bathroom door opened, I was horrified at the sight I saw. John was standing there, what looked like half a pill bottle in hand, and a razor on the countertop. Thankfully there was no fresh blood anywhere, but the sight was still horrific.
"John!" I yelled. I threw myself at him and hugged his taller frame as tightly as I possibly could. Tears began to run down my face too. "How many?"
"What?"
"John, how many pills have you swallowed."
"O-only t-two..." his voice cracked. "I t-told you to l-leave."
"John, I love you so much, please put the pills down. Please, I didn't mean any of the horrible things I said earlier. John you're my everything, please..."
As soon as he put the pills down, he fell to the ground, choked sobs escaping his mouth. He was shaking. I fell down beside him and hugged him as close as possible. He was tense at first, but eventually melted into my touch. He rested his head on mine.
"I love you so much, please promise me never to do that again... you are so amazing and beautiful. You complete me John Laurens. I love you."
He whimpered in response, still crying lowly. He had calmed down more now, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.
I continued to whisper comforting words into his ear until I heard a soft snore emitting from his lips. I looked at his tear-stained face before pecking his lips and gently shaking him awake.
"C'mon dearest, lets get to bed." I told him softly
He nodded softly and slowly started to stand up. We made our way to the bedroom (which was hardly ever used), and I slowly helped him lay down.
Just as I was about to leave to clean up when he grabbed my wrist.
"Stay?" He whispered softly.
"Of course, my love," I said as curled up beside him.
"I love you," I heard him whisper before he drifted of to sleep.
"I love you too," I said, then dozing off beside him.
~Fin~
A/N- so that was my first one shot! Hope you enjoyed. Wasn't the best but it was something ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Edit A/N: so I decided to (kind of) rewrite this as it low key sucked before (still does) but wHaTevA
842 Words (w/o A/N)
