Playing with fire

Place in My Heart

I woke up to a heavy tattooed arm draped over my waist and my bladder begging me to empty it. I tried twice to move Brantley's arm from me without success before I had to wiggle out from under it unphasing him. As I tiptoed to the bathroom I couldn't help but wonder if he was dreaming about Amber. Stop worrying Rae, he wants you I kept telling myself. I don't doubt that he loves me, the way I am aching is just proof of that, but sometimes you can't compete with history, or can you?

I finished doing my morning bathroom routine, threw some sweatpants on and went and started breakfast. I hadn't had that great of sex since the first night we met, and I was famished. I started the scrambled eggs, was frying sausage when I felt a strong band snake around my waist and soft kisses plant on the back of my neck sending chills down my spine and a smile crept across my face. "I woke up, and you wasn't there baby" he breathed between kisses. If he keep this up I am going to burn breakfast for sure.

"I got hungry. After that very strenuous workout last night, my energy resources were depleted" I breathed, tilting my head to the side.

"Is that so?  I'm hungry, but not for food" he proclaimed between kisses.  With that, he turned me around in one swift motion, his green eyes dark and kissed me with everything he had.

What sounded like gunshots went off in my house and I screamed and jumped. "What the hell was that?" I squeaked. Pulling out his phone and I see all the color drain from his face. I look down and see the name that has been synonymous with him and his older music, Amber, the proclaimed "one that got away." 

"B, what's wrong?" I questioned  as I turned around, moving the eggs from the burner.  No answer, this isn't good, the one person that I was sure was out of his life forever, the one who could surely wreck everything we had because I knew she still had a place in his heart, the muse for the majority of his music, and the one I secretly wanted to rip her eyeballs from their sockets and feed them to the crows.

"That was Amber, she left Brock, and wants to see me. Says he has been abusing her" he replied as he rubbed his hand over his head and down through his beard. I held my breath, not knowing what to say, or think.

"I, um, uh. What do you want to do?" I asked as I put our food on it's plate and handed him his. My heart was beating a million miles a minute. About that time I heard a motorcycle shut off and a annoyingly perky Sara bounded through the door " what's up bitches! Ooohh trouble in Paradise?" In behind her walked Kolby who locked eyes with Brantley.

"Uh oh, I know that look. What is it B? Don't tell me, are heads about to roll?"  He asked as he stole my bacon from my hand as I was about to take a bite.

"What the fuck Kolby?  Didn't your mama ever teach you not to take food from a lady?" I snapped. 

"Yeah, but she ain't here. So what's up, y'all have a fight?" 

"No, little miss perfect texted your brother" I snarled, trying to stuff down my anger and fear. I was happy, finally. My heart felt whole for the first time in a long time and I felt like I was on the edge of losing him in a matter of moments. Everyone knew the story of how she wrecked him, and I was terrified he was going to wreck me.

"What'd she want B?" He asked.

"Do I need to get a shovel, Rae?  Want me to bury her?" Sara asked as she plopped down into the chair next to me.

"She said she left Brock, that he'd been abusing her. I didn't respond, because she knows that is the one thing I won't tolerate, on any woman." 

"Bro, you know she pull this fuckery every time he hears you got a girlfriend.  Even if he was, you know her mom would have him thrown in jail because she can't fight her own battles. Besides, how did she get your new number?  You had it changed Lord knows how many times."

I felt a lump rise in my throat, my heart beating faster, I was getting hot and sweating. Ugh why is this happening?  Why does every thing good in my life always get taken from me?  My dad, my mom, Nathan. I can't take it anymore. With that I stood up, tossed my plate of food in the trash, and went to my room, soon as I shut the door the tears started to fall. I cried for my dad, I cried for my mom, and then I cried because the only other man who ever held my heart in his hands had left me for his ex without a second look. I guess I was destined to me alone.

There was a knock at the door that startled me out of my thoughts. "Rae, it's me. Can I come in?"  Sara asked. I wiped my face off on my shirt and opened the door then walked over to the bed. "Oh honey" she proclaimed as she pulled me close to her and I started sobbing again. She was there and helped me pick up the pieces after each heartbreak, she knew about Brantley and I hooking up, and knew I hadn't even dated since that night.

"I'm so scared he's going to leave me for her. She is the only one who can break us" I sniffled out.

"No, he is the only one who can break yall. Well, you and him. And if he does, then he isn't worth having in the first place. He loves you, Rae"

"But he loved her first. Haven't you heard the songs, the interviews? I replied matter of factly.

"Yes, I have. But you also know she is a gold digger, a spoiled brat. She married money. She knows he's loaded now, and word most likely got around that you were there awhile back. So what does that say to you?  She left him, married someone else, he wrote a killer song for you!  That tells me, he wants you otherwise he wouldn't have proposed."  Wait, I didnt tell her, or did I?  "Kolby told me, don't be mad" she smiled. I wasn't mad, I was happy that they found ea h other, after the losers she had been with, she deserved a good guy.

"I'm not mad. I'm just scared. Everything good I have ever had in my life has left me. I'm so scared he will too." About that time I heard a familiar rumble of a motorcycle and it going down the road. My heart suddenly broke into a thousand pieces on the floor as I looked out the bedrooms window. He's gone, hes really gone I said to myself as I collapsed on the bed into a puddle of tears.