Curves

Alexander

"I wish, I wish

I wish she'd break your heart

Like you did to me

I hope you're unhappy

And I hope, I hope

I hope she gives you a disease

So that you will see

But not enough to make you die

But only make you cry...

Like you did me

I pray, I pray

I pray your new baby is a boy

Please don't have a girl

Cause you'll give that woman the world

And I hope I hope

I hope she spends all of your money

Hope she makes you pay

But not enough that you can't survive

But only make you cry

Like you did me.."

These past few months have been hard on me. I lost all motivation to do anything, and due to that I lost six cases. Probably the reason why Mr. Edwards gave me three months off with pay, as long as I attend some bullshit ass therapy sessions. I almost refused, but he said attend therapy sessions, he didn't say I had to participate, and why not? All I had to do was show up to the sessions? That's free money.

Speaking of money, I have became an addict. I admit, I had always enjoyed shopping, but it has became an outlet.

Avery claims sex, liquor, and tattoos should be an outlet, but I don't have a favor of drinking and I'm perfectly fine a virgin, plus I don't do needles; plus I blame it on his young mind for believing that those things were an outlet. He just graduated from high school a month ago, he has not yet experienced adult hood, college life, or career life. Young and ignorant.

Even with me constantly turning him down during our late night phone call conversations about his idea of outlets, he still holds on to the thought of me getting a tattoo.

With my work, I can't just walk around with tattoos head to toe due to me being in my feelings. But, when he mentioned getting Aaliyah's name, I acted like I blew it off, but he had me hooked.

I'm actually suppose to have started work again a week ago, but I'm using a few of my sick and vacation days to prolong my stay away from "Hell".

While I was away, my receptionist kept me filled in, and in a way, I really wished she hadn't, but that never stopped me from asking what had I missed.

So far, the office has still been gossiping, and with me being pregnant by Malcom as the number one rumor floating around, I fell annoyed and depressed.

I know, I blew it off. I acted like my feelings wasn't hurt, but when you have always locked your feelings away and only trust a select few and none of them being men, its hard to trust. And when you do trust and he betrays you in one of the worst ways possible? It feels like shit.

It feels like shit knowing that Malcom parades Malasia around the office like she wasn't my best friend and that we were never in a relationship. It hurts to know that he got a blood test done while the baby was still in the womb and it is his baby. It hurts to know that he takes her to all of her appointments and sends her flowers every Friday. But, what can I do? I have no future plans of taking him back in any way shape or form, and from the way Terra is serving it to me, he has plans on marrying Malasia.

I'm not going to lie, I fell into a depression. I'm a woman, I can be sensitive. Under all of the jokes and nonchalant attitude still lies a sensitive Alana.

The funny thing is, betrayal doesn't come from your worst enemies or even the people who constantly hate on you. It always comes from the people you trust the most. The fucked up thing is, I trusted my "friends" more than I have ever trusted anyone in the world. And on top of that what those people that I have been disgraced with as biological parents did is a negative six million compared the infinite amount of hurt that has been caused.

Aaliyah and Avery.

Those two have been my everything these past three months.

Aaliyah and I have grown closer than I would ever imagine and with our mother being the sweet non sinful Christian that she is, she attends bible study every Wednesday, which allows me to pick Aaliyah up from school and Wednesdays and giving us our bonding time until I have to get her home at 9:30.

Avery and I have grown to have a brother and sisterly bond. Me and Aaliyah attended his graduation and was welcomed into his family. I'm not going to lie though, Miss. Chandler had taken me for a cougar, and her share of words until I corrected the image she had portrayed of me by telling her I see nothing more of Adrian than a brother and one of the best listeners in the world and she accepted that and welcomed me and Aaliyah back to her home for his graduation dinner.

Now Avery on the other hand, he still has his flirty moments, but he then turns it into a insult and its back to picking with each other.

Therapy sessions never made it past her asking about my day, and how was Aaliyah before I shut her down and always turned the interrogation on her. Like the asshole I am, I simply smiled when she heard her bell announcing my session was over. She is a blabber mouth, and she always finds herself talking our session away, but I wasn't complaining.

Now, I was sitting on my chrome book, an unnecessary expense, bought in my time of depression.

I had been thinking about the tattoo idea and finally decided that I wanted to get Aaliyah's name tattoed, but my problem now is how I want it to look; so I was playing around with different fonts until I came across one called '