Real Friends Or Ones of Convenience

11.

Nevaeh

I can't believe it's already Wednesday. Even more so, Brian has been gone without a word for four days, today being the fifth, just makes me wonder when he may pop back, I just know when he does I'm breaking things off. Which is even more why I need to talk with Liam, today. I've had some weird feelings going on for a while now, and something just don't feel right, almost as if my brother were right back here.

The girls don't even know of everything I've been through. The only one, like I mentioned to Harry, us Liam.

I guess I'll head there, I think I know what to do. Then perhaps get a run in and call Brenda about getting started finding Jo Jo and Mel. I've got an idea or two, to run by them, to see if they think it may work, to locate them.

I'll also try to text Brian, God forbid, to see when he might be back, not that I really give two shits. Just the sooner I end with him, the sooner I can have something real and better with Harry.

Here's to getting started I guess. I head out on my way to Liam's.

I get to the gym, head inside, find Liam. "Hey Liam" I say

"Hey Vaeh" he says smiling "so you wanted to talk?"

"Something like that"

"Well, if not that, what is it exactly, and how can I be of assistance?"

I look down, shake my head "you know me so well" I look up into his eyes "you are the only one that knows everything Liam, nobody else does, not even one of the girls" I pause "I want to know if you will help me with that I guess"

He looks at me a bit confused "how so"

"Well, I've been feeling off somehow lately, like when my brother was around, but 'we' know that's not possible, so I'd like to make a video, I guess, explaining everything so if anything were to happen to me, they can know about everything, right from me. I'm also ending it with Brian when he makes it back, I haven't felt right with him for some time now, but I kinda met someone that makes me feel good about me. I think it's been a long time coming Li, I'm ready and really happy."

"I'll help any way I can Vaeh" he gives me a smile and a big hug "it's so past time, I'm so happy for you, you look happier than you have in forever"

"Let's get started then, shall we?"

We made the video, I explained how my brother used to knock me down the stairs when my parents weren't home, to when he'd get drunk he'd cut me at times, then before he left when he was 20 he raped me, said I deserved it, laughed like a fucking maniac. At this point I was crying, but kept going. Within 2 year after he had left is when my parent somehow got the girls' parents to agree to let us all to move in together saying that it'd only be a year and it would give us practice of starting to live on out in the 'real world', but not quite alone yet, since we'd have each other. That's when we got the place we all lived in, my parents didn't know where, just gave the money. Yet nobody knew the things I still felt about myself or was going through, I'd cut the bottoms of my feet, I felt I had to do something to feel something. Then after the three years we all lived there, and we had agreed to reunite in five years to go and see what our lives lead us to, what dreams ect, well I remained here, went to a rehab, it never helped, so that's when I found Liam. Tears are still running down my cheeks, but I continued. We became friends when I would go to his gym daily, working till I'd literally drop. He was the only one I talked to, I still cut, he didn't even know this part though, till now, I started taking his self defense classes, I figured there'd be no way in hell another guy would ever mistreat me again, especially not the way Damien did. I would rather die first. I figured by the self defense, along with the cutting on my feet would toughen that up. I also ran the treadmill, hit the bag, and push weights with my legs, besides arm weights, not enough to bulge my arms but to make one feel it. I then giggle a bit.