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"I've been feeling suicidal."
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She shook her head switching her phone off. Why won't he leave her alone? You would think firing shots at her brother the boy would vanish but his guilt ate him alive daily. With her not texting back only made it worse. She kissed her teeth feeling the vibration from the cellular device "The fuck." She groaned.
"What the hell do you want Kirk!?"
"I wanna see you." He croaked
"Bro what? You wanna see me? Are you fucking serious?"
"Laya please I need to see you just hear me out please."
"No! You shot my brother! You could've killed my brother Kirk!"
"But i didn't!" He spat.
She scrunched up her face. His words triggered her what's that supposed to mean. "Kirk get the fuck off of my phone! Y'know it should've been you that got shot! Fuck you!" She spat.
Infant toys were cluttered all over the apartment, she yelped tripping over the small fence. "Fuck!" She growled. Today was hectic for her. This is what her weekend consist of. The only two days she's not working, she has tend to her second job being a parent.
She didn't mind doing it all alone the part that irked her was that she had an agreement with her child's father that he would watch their daughter on the weekends. But where is he? He never shows up. But she was sick of it.
Maria flashed a smile at her daughter that was fiddling with the toys on the floor before punching in his number.
He chuckled chasing behind his girlfriend, "Girl bring yo' ass back here." He held out his arms grabbing a hold of her waist. She giggled squirming around in his grip "Ok Shamar you got it now let go."
"Nah." He hoisted her up in the air throwing her over his shoulder. "You wanna be playful so ima play too." He smirked slapping his hand on her butt.
He kissed his teeth pulling the cellphone out of his backpocket. "You lucky i gotta take this it's Maria." He laid her on the couch pressing the cellular phone against his ear "Wazzam?"
"Are you fucking serious Shamar?" Her voice ringed through the phone.
"Opp." Bree muttered eyeing her boyfriend "Someones in trouble." She giggled.
He shook his head "What's the problem Maria?"
"What's the problem Maria?" She mocked him. "Come and pick up your child! I shouldn't be running you down to spend time with your daughter!" She hung up.
Bree crossed her arms staring at her boyfriend "What's wrong? Why haven't you been spending time with Sky?"
He sighed tossing the phone on the kitchen island "I don't know honestly."
She shook her head. She knew that Maria was probably blaming her for Shamar's misfortunes. In a way she knew what Maria was probably feeling she shouldn't have to raise that baby on her own while he's out here doing whatever. It took her back to the weekends her and her siblings would wait up for their father to show up and he never came. "Shamar you need to go and pick up your daughter." She spoke.
"Yea I'm well aware of that." He spoke sarcastically. "I'm serious Shamar! Put some clothes on and go get her.. and I'm coming with you."
He side eyed her before drifting off into the bedroom. "I'm basically living at yo' place." He flipped through her closet. She nodded pulling open the drawer "Where do you want to take her?"
"I don't know I've never been to any kid friendly places just clubs and bars."
"Wow, so where did you take Kay?"
"We used to hang out at my moma house." He shrugged.
Cars passed by the pedestrian that was walking along the sidewalk up the bridge. He wore a black hoodie that covered his face, dragging his feet. While scribbling down notes in a journal. He came to a stop at the center of the bridge. He leaned against the railing smiling at the cars then averting his attention back to his love letter.
Dear Jillian,
Although your parents tried to get in between us, we still stayed together. We didn't let that break us apart. I might be from the rough side of town, I might be a product of my environment or just like any other young black male struggling to make it out of the trenches. But you supported that! Our love was unconditional. I couldn't and still can't live without you. I guess this is why I'm writing you this letter. I know you're looking up from above probably telling me not to do it. But Jilly I have to. No one ever loved me, No one ever cared about me. And the one time someone love and cared about me she was taken away. I'd never understand why you killed yourself but I'll see you in paradise. Until we meet again.
Love, Jigga
With that he closed his journal looking to the sky.
Bree smiled pushing the stroller along, "Look at the fishy Sky." She cooed pointing at the fish in the tank. Shamar smiled watching the two from a distance. He admired how involved she was with his daughter, she treated her as if she was hers. "Look at daddy staring at us like a creep." She giggled eyeing Shamar.
"Y'know I'm just watchin' y'all." He spoke.
"Mhm, are you ready to go? It's getting late and she's already falling asleep."
"A'ight let's go then."
With that they left out the building and were on their way.
He bent over resting the journal on the ground unzipping his jacket he placed it on top of the journal. The young boy crawled on top of the railing taking a deep breath he stared at the rough currents.
Wale's on chill played lowly in the car, Bree stared out the window "I hate bridges." She muttered.
