Louis' long lost sister

Chapter Eighteen

I've almost finished up my drawing of my mini hideaway back in Leeds. It's these train tracks that run over a river.
(I added a picture of just the river from the tracks) It's so beautiful. It doesn't look quite right to me so I decided to send a picture to my old art teacher.

'Hey Mr. Donavon! I need a second pair of eyes on this piece. Thoughts?' Attached is the picture and a picture I took of the river to base it off of.

He responded a minute later 'Shading is off and you need to blend a little more. Other than that, it's perfect. Oh and you graduated, you no longer have to call me that. Call me Andrew.'

'Okay! Thanks Andrew! I have to go now. It's almost dinner time and I want to see what the boys want.'

'Oh I heard about all of that. When you come to visit me you should get the boys to autograph something for Stephanie. She'll love you even more. Have a nice dinner!'

'I will. Bye!' I put my phone into my pocket and walked downstairs and into the living room to see the guys watching a football game. Louis and Niall were into it way more than the rest of the guys but they were still pretty excited. I waited for the player to kick the ball into the goal and confetti to be shot out onto the players till I spoke. "So what's for dinner?"

They turned to me and all seemed to have looks of thought on their faces. Somebody muttered the word 'diner' and we all set off to put shoes on.

The car arrangements were the same from the time we went to the movies. It was only like a ten minute drive till we pulled up next to a diner. We met the other guys at the door and walked in.

In my opinion, the waitresses shirt was far too low but I couldn't help but notice the guys glance down there for a little. Some longer than others.

Boobs McGee led us to a table towards the back and handed us our menus. Louis and Niall went straight into talking about the game they just watched. I read through the menu twice but nothing was quite popping out to me. I'll just get waffles for dinner.

I placed the menus down and the waitress came back. She took the guys drink orders and flirted with Harry. I have to admit, it made me feel a little angry and I guess I made a face because Liam and Zayn were giggling at me. I shot them a glare and started twiddling with the sugar packets, putting them into different orders till our drinks came back and boob lady took our food order.

After putting them into all the combinations I could think of, I started to look around the diner at all of the people, working out each of their life stories based on what they are wearing and how they are acting. I pretended that the cat lady and the construction worker were in a secret relationship together and couldn't be seen with each other in public and have to sit away from each other. Just as I was figuring out how they could communicate, our food came.

I picked away at my food, not entirely hungry. I ate a few slices here and there along with all of the little strawberries on top. The boys were scarfing down their meals. Eventually, the time to pay the check came and I soon found us on our way back to their house. I guess I was shaking my foot too much because Louis stuck his left arm out and put it on my right hand. He could tell how nervous I was. Niall remained quiet in the back till his 'favorite song' came on and he started singing and dancing.

Soon, we were pulling into the driveway behind the other boys and climbing out of the car. We proceeded into the house where I asked everybody to sit down in the living room. They all complied and the four sat together in one couch across from where I was standing and Louis was next to me on the recliner. They all stared at me waiting for me to start and I started to feel it getting harder and harder to breathe. Louis grabbed me hand and started to stroke it with his thumb. I took a couple deep breathes before I began.

"I've rehearsed many ways I could say this but none of them seemed right to me. Because of that, I'll go with the simplest way." I took one last deep breathe and paused to look everybody in the eyes. "I have an addiction. No, it's not alcohol, no it's not drugs, it's something that's not quite as bad as that. Um, I'm still trying to decide how to word this. Uh, I guess I'll just say it at this point. I self harm."

I realized I've been looking down for a little bit now and looked up to see all of their reactions. Louis, who was still holding my hand, squeezed it in his own little was to say 'I'm proud of you'. Liam looked shocked. He was just staring at me. I made eye contact and switched targets. Niall looked like he was about to cry. His lip was quivering but nothing spilled from his eyes yet. He had his hands under his chin holding his head up. Elbows resting on his knees. Zayn was basically just like Liam but a little worse. Harry I think was the worst of all. I could see the little tears escape his eyes as he put his hands in a praying position against his lips. His elbows were also resting on their knees.

"Um I bet you guys might have a few questions so if you want you can ask away." I told them. All four hands shot up. Just going down the line, I chose Liam first.

"Louis, why aren't you reacting?"

"He already knew. He's know for like a month and a half now I think. Niall, you're next."

"I'm not quite sure how to word this but, what made you decide to tell us?"

"It was starting to get harder and harder to hide it from you guys. When Harry and I were ruff housing for his beanie two weeks ago, a few cuts opened when I hit the table and that's why Louis and I went into the kitchen. It was him who suggested I did this. The reasoned we left the mall early last week was because I started over heating. I want to feel more comfortable around you guys but that was never going to happen if I hid this from you guys."

They all nodded and Zayn spoke up. "Where do you, um, cut?"

"My wrists, upper thighs, and hips. And it's not only cutting. I said self harming. That's anything that can harm me. Cutting is number one on that list obviously but I also burn every once and awhile."

"Why?" Harry asked as soon as I was finished.

"Many reasons. To sum it up; I was bullied for years, your fans, my mind likes to talk me into it with mind games. Sometimes I just do it for the pain because I miss it. There could be no trigger. It'll just be that I'm in the mood for pain." He nodded. It was a little silent for awhile. Nobody really knew what to say. It was Louis who broke the silence.

"I think you should get it over with and show them now. This way you can get it out of the way and not have to worry about what to wear starting tomorrow. It's supposed to get a little hotter than it's been." I nodded and began rolling up my sleeves. I haven't revealed my arms yet. Instead I use them to pull up my sweater to reveal many scars and cuts. They gasped and wouldn't look away. I pulled my shirt down and stuck out my arms. The boy crowded around them and the two who were close to tears before, were definitely crying now.

Harry stuck his arm out to touch but pulled back. "Yes Harry, you guys can touch them. Just don't put too much pressure on the fresh ones. I may like pain, but only if I inflict it." The boys started reaching out and were lightly grazing them with their fingertips. I let them feel for a few more seconds then pulled my arms away, rolled the sleeves down, and crossed my arms. I take a few steps back and stand next to Louis.

"So Louis, if you already knew, why don't you make her see somebody or get her to stop?" Zayn asks.

" Simple, when Freya is ready to get help, I'll be there for her. Right now I'm keeping a watchful eye on her and what our fans say. Forcing will only make things worse for her."

"You know I'm still in the room, right?" I ask while looking between the two. They blush and I roll my eyes. "Well, that's all from me tonight, folks. I'm going to bed. Goodnight" Louis stands up and hugs me. We release and as I'm walking past Liam, he pulls me in for a hug. When we release, Niall swoops in for a hug. Then Zayn. And finally Harry. Harry kisses me on the forehead and I leave. I spend the next few hours in my room watching Netflix till I fall asleep.