1/2 - cheronica fanfic

20: cheryl

cheryl ran until her legs hurt, and even then she kept going, stopping to sit on a log by sweetwater river. tears streaming down her face, her eyes cloudy. her face was sore from scrunching it up, trying so hard to forget it had happened. i did this. it was me. she could've been raped because of me. she sobbed, saying her thoughts out loud, even though they just sounded more like crying, which, in fact, she was. 

god, how she wished her dad was here right now. but then again, when didn't she? she wanted him there when her mom locked her in the basement, she wanted him there when she had her panic attacks, and she wanted him there to tell him all about veronica. cheryl let out a sob. veronica, who probably hated her now. who had been the only one to like her, the only one that cared and had asked her about when she had disappeared for a week. cheryl sobbed, wishing she could go back in time. she had known this party would be the worst...

"hey..." someone said softly, almost a whisper. cheryl's head whipped around to see a familiar raven haired princess.

"...veronica?" cheryl looked away, not wanting her to see her.

"yeah. it's me." veronica took a step towards cheryl, reaching her hand out to cheryl's shoulder. cheryl flinched at the touch.

"go away, i need to be alone." cheryl sighed, more and more tears spilling from her eyes.

"cheryl, are you okay?"

"i'm fine." she said instinctively. 

"no, no you're not. i can see the tears rolling down your cheeks." cheryl wiped her cheek and covered her face with her hair.

"please, just go." cheryl said, voice shaking. "i can't be strong right now... you can't... see me like this." veronica sat beside her, and half smiled, sad.

"cheryl, i don't mind."

"you probably hate me now, you probably don't even care what's going on, you're just here to tell everyone how cheryl blossom was crying by the river. don't spare any details, the people in riverdale might seem ordinary and kind, but they ache for drama. even if they have to make it up." cheryl's eyes clouded over, remembering...

"she's unstable" 

"get your shit together" 

"i hate you! do the world a favor and jump off a cliff"

"no cheryl, i wouldn't do that. i'm here because i care about you..."

"how can you? after i did... that? i ruined a girl's relationship then proceeded to almost get her raped. how the fuck can you care about anything that happens to me? i wouldn't." 

"honestly, i don't know." cheryl looked over at her, like she was surprised veronica would say that, even though she had just said it herself.

"what? i have the right to say that, you were being a bitch before, and you just said it yourself."

"i guess thats fair."

"what i'm trying to say is,, i probably shouldn't like you as much as i do, but i can't help it." cheryl stared at her, her eyes gleaming, like they were smiling so her mouth didn't have to. 

"but... i'm unstable. i'm such a bad person, i don't deserve forgiveness. it's not like i was wronged in any way. i bullied people, i ruined betty and jughead's relationship, i almost got her raped, everything that's happened to me, i deserve." her voice shook and she quickly broke the eye contact.

"what's happened to you?" veronica asked bravely.

"i... you really don't want to know." cheryl sat up straighter, attempting to hide the tears welling back up in her eyes.

"hey, yes i do. i don't care if it's a really long ass story or if it makes no sense. you're going to have to tell me eventually." cheryl sighed.

"it... it started when i was little, seventh grade i think."

"oh, its actually a long ass story? i take back what i said, make it short and sweet." cheryl chuckled, a sad, but happy chuckle.

"no can do, it can, at least, be medium length."

"deal."

[reread chapter 9 for the story]

so cheryl told veronica everything. her dad, betty, everything... except her mom. cheryl purposefully left that aspect out, it was harder to talk about because it had happened recently.

"oh my god cheryl i'm so sorry" veronica said, grabbing cheryl's hand before she knew what she was doing. cheryl winced, that was where her mom always grabbed her when she forced her into the basement. veronica noticed and let go. "did that hurt you?" veronica asked, concerned. cheryl relaxed her hand, smiled, and looked at veronica gratefully.

"no, i just... i'm not used to it." veronica laughed, and took cheryl's hand back in her own.

"well, you can get used to it." and they smiled, but after a moment cheryl sighed.

"but, you have no reason to be sorry for me. it was my fault."

"uhm, did i hear this story wrong or something? your dad's death was not your fault, right?"

"no, but if i had just talked to betty, not drifted so far away..."

"hey, you needed time. if my dad died, i'd need time to heal too. you can't just magically recover."

"i guess." she looked at her hands.

"you should know. i want to hear you say it. say; i know i needed time."

"veronica..." she pleaded.

" say it. or i'm leaving." cheryl rolled her eyes.

"i know i needed time." she said flatly.

"say it with emotion."

"i know i needed time." cheryl sang the words out, exaggerating her expression like a drama student.

"good." they laughed. after a moment, veronica whispered,

"you aren't the only villain in this story, but you're also not the only hero. betty probably didn't mean what she said. she was just mad. and you didn't mean all the things you said, so i think you should just, forgive her. okay?" cheryl nodded.

"thank you, veronica." cheryl said. "for not completely hating me."

"anytime." the two girls both moved closer, and cheryl layed her head on veronica's shoulder. she rethought the decision as her head gently hit her, thoughts storming through her mind like lightning, but veronica didn't seem to mind. actually, she seemed to like it, resting her head on cheryl's as they stared at the river. they didn't have to say anything else. everything that had needed to be said had been said.

well, almost everything.