1/2 - cheronica fanfic

23: veronica

"what?" veronica asked, stunned. where was this coming from? they had been perfectly fine yesterday...

"i'm sorry, but i'm the reason that archie almost hurt betty. it's all my fault. i put them in that closet, and made everyone watch i- i don't know what came over me. i've been trying to control myself, trying to get better..." veronica was shaking her head, mouthing 'no' over and over. cheryl took a deep breath. "anyways, veronica, my point is that i did something bad, and i don't want you mixed up with it. i don't want betty getting mad at you for being with me."

"but what if we just-"

"explaining won't do anything ronnie. like i told you, i've been bullying betty for...so long. and it's been terrible. i've been terrible. betty isn't going to believe anything i-or you-say about it. to her it's just another one of my stunts. this one just went to far."

"cheryl, but we can-"

"veronica, this is something i have to fix myself. i have to do it. i can't have betty or anyone else thinking you influenced me. okay? i just- i can't."

"what if we just don't tell them? can't we-"

"and live a cliche teenage romance? sorry, that won't work. i don't want to secretly date you, that only brings out the worst in the characters in the stories,, and i'm working on my attitude remember?" veronica was getting a bit annoyed that cheryl kept cutting her off.

"i know.. i just..." maybe it was for the best though, it didn't seem like she could form sentences even without cheryl interrupting her.

"look.. i don't want to break up either, i just, i need to fix this before i can be happy."

"cheryl, you deserve to be happy no matter what. you made some mistakes in the past, yes, but you've changed. i know you have. look at you, you're breaking up with your girlfriend who's amazing beautiful, hilarious, kind, adorable-" veronica could hear a chuckle through the phone. "my point, is that you aren't a terrible person, and don't you believe for one second that you are."

"veronica, please don't make this harder than it already is. i know i'm different now, it's just that betty doesn't. our school doesn't."

"i know, but can't we just take a break instead of actually splitting up? it's only been a few days..." a sigh came.

"no, listen, i have to do this."

"cheryl, no, please."

"veronica." cheryl took a deep breath. "it's not your choice. believe me, i don't want to have to do this any more than you, okay? i don't want to have to go up to betty, and kevin, and archie, and jughead, and all these other people. i don't want to make myself vulnerable and say sorry, because how the fuck do i do that without sounding like an idiot? 'oh hey, i just popped in to say i'm sorry for all the times i isolated you and made you feel like a piece of shit. please forgive me xoxo 🙈💕😝'. um, no thank you. i would much rather stay here with my amazing understanding girlfriend who doesn't hate me. as much as i would love to be able to do that, i can't. i wouldn't be able to live with myself. how can i treat myself to something as crazy and scarce as love when i haven't shown any sign of love to these people i've known all my life? how do i do that, when i know i'm just dragging you down with me, ronnie?"

"you're not-"

"yes i am, and you know it. everyone at school hates me, and they'll hate you too if they find out you're dating me."

"cheryl..."

"i'm sorry."

"cheryl, no-"

phone call ended. 7 min, 14 sec.

[sorry it took so long, i completely went off track and the story went in a completely different direction than it was going to, i just didn't know how to write it.]