Off-limits

Chapter 6

I shot up from the sofa at the sight of Rachel's hand on him, and quickly walked past them through the doorway and out to the car.

I needed a cigarette.

Smoking is a nasty habit that that I picked up two years ago and even though Ryan smokes quite often he refuses to allow me to.

The one time I asked him for a smoke, he lectured (yelled) at me for twenty minutes about how bad they are for you. So for the past two years I've had my older friends buying my cigarettes.
And right now all I could think about was letting the smoke cloud up my lungs and fog up my mind.

Why? I had no clue.

But for some reason seeing Rachel touch him made my eyesight go red.
Rachel could be a bit slutty at times, but I knew that if she was aware of me and Ryan's kiss she wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole.

She's a great person, she just loves sex.

Ryan followed after me into the car and started it up after getting behind the wheel of the black mustang, his prize possession.

The drive back to the house was long and filled with tension so thick you couldn't cut it with a chainsaw.

When we finally reached the driveway I threw my door open and ran inside and up the stairs to my room, rummaging my sock drawer to find what I was looking for.

When I finally found the pack of Red 100's I grabbed my white lighter and headed over to my window, sitting down on the windowsill, I lit up the toxic little stick.

I allowed the oxygen to fill my lungs as I cracked the window to vent the smoke out of my room.

The smoke lightly numbed my thoughts and relaxed my mind as I deeply inhaled the toxins into my body.
I was about half way through my second cigarette when a knock came at the door.

"Kay? Open up." Ryan commanded.
Shit.

"Go away Ryan I'm not in the mood." I snapped in response as I took another drag on the smoke.

"What's that smell? Are you fucking smoking?!" and with that the door was slammed open and Ryan ran over to me ripping the cigarette from my lips.
"What the hell man?!" I yelled at him obviously upset that he had ruined my time.

"What did I tell you about smoking Kayla?! It's a bad habit that a girl like you shouldn't do. Where is the rest of this pack? I'm taking them, you aren't allowed to smoke yet." He stated as he started to rummage through my belongings.

"I'm 18 f**cking years old Ryan I can do whatever the hell I want. You don't own me." I huffed crossing my arms over my chest.

He was being outrageously controlling, these are my life's decisions we are talking about.

At the sound of my voice Ryan froze. His broad shoulders rising up and dropping down at an unsteady rate. He was pissed.

He turned towards me with a pack of cigarettes in one hand and my small leather bound journal in the other.
I froze at the sight of the small book in his hand.

No one was ever supposed to see that book. Especially not Ryan.
He smirked at the sight of my discomfort and shock as he tilted his head to the side.

"What's this Kayla? A diary?" He slowly started to walk towards me as my breathing started to become more and more labored, each breath becoming more difficult than the last as I swallowed down the oxygen.
He flipped to the first entry of the journal and raised his eyebrows as he slowly started to pronounce each word.

"October 15th, 2011,

He sucked and bit at my neck making me whimper as I tried desperately to knock some sense into myself. A small part of me knows that the kiss that Ryan and I shared was wrong but, the larger part of me never wanted it to stop.

His lips made me feel lightheaded and dizzy with ecstasy, and simply knowing what kissing him does to me makes me think of more horrendous things that he could do to me. Disgusting things that a girl my age shouldn't think about.

I'm sixteen for gods sake and my dreams for the past year have been consisting of erotic images of Ryan Andrews. A twenty-two year old man.

My most recent dream was of Ryan's head in-between my legs, and his tongue entering my hea-"

The sound of the slap rang through the room as Ryan's head turned from the unexpected impact.

" That Is my private journal. You cannot just open it up and read whatever you feel like." I seethed at him, my fists clenched at my sides.

If he didn't wipe that stupid smirk off of his face I would do it for him.

"So Kayla, do tell. How many dreams did you have of me? Is that what this journal is full of? All fantasies of me?" His smirk grew and turned into a full out smile as he saw my cheeks flush a crimson red.

He was now standing only inches from me, his lips centimeters from mine as he leaned down to stare into my eyes.

He gently cupped my cheek, rubbing over my cheekbone as he solftly whispered,

"Don't be embarrassed Kayla, I dreamed of you too."