My real life (An Itachi's sister fanfic)

Meeting the 'Crew...?'

Me: Hi-hi!

megera_bray: ... You know, Christine, the cops are still searching for you.

Me: Aw, let 'em. Piggy and Poco have been hungry for a few days after all. *holds up trombone and swings slide around*

megera_bray: Ack! Are you TRYING to dent your slide?! Besides, you could've slapped me in the face with it!

Me: *SMACK*

megera_bray: Ow. Humph, now YOU have to say the disclaimer.

Me: ಠ_ಠ

megera_bray: Don't make that face at me! (Has never even seen it before)

Me:ಥ_ಥ

megera_bray: Ugh, fine. My friend here does not own Naruto. Nor do I.

Me:ಠ_ರೃ

megera_bray: HOLY- STOP IT, YOU'RE CREEPING ME OUT! THIS IS WHAT I MUST SUFFER THROUGH EVERY DAY, GUYS! AAAHHHHHHH!!

Me: *Faces screen* ◉‿◉ I don't own Naruto!

-------//-------

'Crap.' Was the first thing that came to my mind. "Answer me." He said sharply, flicking his wrist so that the knife on the end was aimed at me. "Ok, ok, jeez, stop flickin' your wrist like you're Harry Potter or something!" I said, struggeling to get away. "Like what?" He looked at me like I had run out of batteries for my calculator. Oops. I kept forgetting that I was from a different world, and if I could've, I would've slapped myself. "Erm, never mind." I mentally kicked myself in the head for being so stupid. "Sasori, what the heack are you doing to that poor girl, yeah?" Wonderful. Another freak. Only I knew this one. "Derick?" I asked. He turned to look at me. "Oh! It's you." He grinned. Thankfully, he didn't say my name. "Great, you know her. What's her name." This time, Sasori said it as a statement, not a question. "Aww, Sasori-Dono! You don't know? Tsk." Derick shook a disregarding finger at him and pulled back when Sasori jabbed a knife at him. "What. Is. Her. Name." He repeated. "Layna! Layna Cresthart." He said, stroking his 'injured' hand. "Anything else you wanna know, Mr. Creepy-stalker-person?" I asked dryly. Instead of actually replying, he dropped me on the ground and left, muttering to himself about... Puppets? I think... ---//--- *SMACK* I slapped myself again and again as I tried to grasp reality again. "Layna?" A short series of knocking at my door stopped me for a moment. "Come in." I said, then returning to the slapping. "Why are you slapping yourself?" I looked up. A man in an orange swirly mask was standing next to me, in a very childish pose. He had his hand laced behind his back, bent over like a child looking at an animal. "Before I answer that, who the heck are you?" I said, suspicious about how he knew my name. "Tobi! Did you know that Tobi is a good boy? Tobi deserves cookies, but Master-sama says no. He says that Tobi will get crazy. Master-sama is crazy! Tobi OBVIOUSLY deserves cookies, and that's because Tobi's a go-" "Yes, I know! Tobi's a good boy!" I stopped him from wasting more of my time. "I'm slapping myself because I'm afraid that I'm insane..." I said, handing him cookies to stop him from rooting through my backpack, which was what he was pretty much already doing. "Tobi thinks that Laylay-chan is not crazy. Laylay-chan is a good girl!" Laylay-chan? Where the freckle did that come from?! "Erm, thank you...?" Momentarily confused. ---//--- "LAYNA!! WAIT UNTIL I FUCKING GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT!!" Hidan chased me through the hallway because I had slapped him again. "Yeah, right, you mangy old man! I'd like to see you try!" I cackled. "FUCKING-AAARRRRGGGGG!!" He ran even faster. Oh shoot. I was at my limit, I couldn't run any faster! "Oops." *WHAM* I fell face first onto the ground. A fish man stood above me. "Sorry." He looked closer at me. "Ohh, you're the newbie." Yeah, and pigs will fly. "Kisame! Where is she?!" Crap. I hid behind the fish and tried to sneak away. "Hold it." I was snatched up by the back of my neck, like a kitten being grabbed up by the scruff. I heard knuckles crack, and knew I was in for a world of pain. "It's the end of the line for you..." Crud. ---//--- *snap* The first aid case shut promptly as Itachi finished cleaning the blood off my face and arms. "You're lucky. Once I almost had to get stitches. He went easy on you." Right... I was supposed to belive that? Fat chance. I was almost killed, people! "Well, in any case, you should be ok now." Then he tapped me on the forehead with two fingers. I brushed him off and left. ---//--- "Can you leave me alone?!" I shoved Itachi off my shoulders as he tried to hug me. "What? Is something wrong! Am I not allowed to hug my sister?" He said, amused. "No, not when she barely knows you!" I snarled. "And besides, I never wanted you as my older brother!" "... Sasuke is your other older brother..." He muttered. "WHAT!! That snot nosed little piece of junk-" I started, but was interrupted. "Who can hear you. I can't believe this..." I spun around and saw him. "Come on, you have to meet everybody." ---//--- "Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Kakazu, Tobi, Zetsu, Konan, and I." Pein muttered, sweeping his hand over everybody. Ok. So I officially knew everybody. Great. Just great. I can't believe that I joined a gang of delinquents who murder people. Would I have to kill in the future? I didn't want to know. "Now I'll be sending everybody off to a mission at around this time, so do you prefer to stay here? We could have a pair stay behind." 'Not Hidan, not Hidan' I almost begged. "Um, I'll stay behind. And, uh... Train...? I think," I said. "Good idea. Any volunteers to stay behind?" Oh, crud. No, no, no, no, not him. PLEASE NOT HIM, GAWD NO. "I will, yeah!" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I can't stand him! "Very well. Then depart. Everybody knows their job. Zestu and Tobi, cover for Deidara and Sasori." And with that, everybody whisked away. "Really? Did we have to miss out mission just to look after this brat?" Sasori sighed. "Oi! Watch who you're callin' a brat, OLD MAN." I said. He glared at me, turning his head as quick as lightning. Crap. "Listen, child. I am not going to watch over you. Apparently, Deidara is. So if you get pregnant, or whatever, I'm not taking you to the hospital." He chirped angerly. I flinched. "Who told you that?" I demanded. "Well, by the look in his eyes I can tell that something's going to happen tonight. I glared at Deidara and slid a finger over my neck very slowly, so slow, he stood there for about a few minutes before nodding. So he understood after all. Good. Because I was not going to clean blood off the floor.

Hey guys! I just updated this chapter at 12:11 pm, and, um... I'm not tired. This is really weird... Hmm. Anyway, comments are welcome, and any ideas as to what could happen next! Thanks!